WWYD re: biting

nvp05

Rena's BFF is the same age as her and she's a biter. She has always tried to bite Rena since she was one or so. She also tries to bite her parents when she's mad, but apparently doesn't bite any other kids. Rena and BFF see each other at least a couple times a week for playdates. The BFF goes through phases where she doesn't try to bite at all, and then will start up again. We usually can see when she's about to try and bite and we break it up. Well yesterday Rena was playing with BFF's stroller and BFF ran over to her, grabbed her face with both hands, and bit her really hard on the cheek. At first we thought she was trying to give Rena a kiss since she does that. But it was obvious she was upset since she grabbed the stroller and ran off. Rena was very upset and asked to go home. When we got home she was very clingy and kept saying BFF hurt her and she's a bad girl. Today the bite mark is very swollen and red. DH is really upset and does not want us to see her again (at least for a long time). He feels like they don't do enough to discipline her when she bites or tries to bite.

Her mom and I are good friends now so this is pretty awkward. Her mom put her in time out and kept asking BFF to say sorry to Rena. She said she wouldn't say sorry and won't share her toys. We left right away since Rena was so upset. Her mom kept texting me all night saying how sorry she was and that BFF was apologizing and askign to play with Rena. I texted her back and told her Rena was very shaken up and the bite mark looks awful and DH thinks we shouldn't let them play for now.

So my question, how would you handle this? Would you not let your child play with the biter at all? Take a break for awhile? I'm not sure what to do. I don't want my child to get hurt like that again. And it's stressful to sit there between them while they play to make sure she doesn't try to bite. Any thoughts? TIA.

Erika&Brian

Unfortunately biting is totally normal behavior for the age range :-(.

I would probably take a break from the friend for a few weeks to give you all a break/refresher, and then when you resume playing just stay super close to them both to hopefully be able to prevent it. At least this is not a friend at school !

nvp05

Erika&Brian:

Unfortunately biting is totally normal behavior for the age range :-(.

I would probably take a break from the friend for a few weeks to give you all a break/refresher, and then when you resume playing just stay super close to them both to hopefully be able to prevent it. At least this is not a friend at school !

Thanks Erika. That's what I was also thinking to do. I know it's normal for their age so that's why I think it's a little extreme for them to never play again. DH is just upset because it's been happening more lately (usually she just tries to bite her hand so yesterday was different) and they don't seem too concerned about it. They just say it's weird that BFF only bites Rena and no other kids. I guess if she bit other kids at school etc they might do something more to prevent/stop it?