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South Florida Babies
If your mom/MIL is your babysitter....
do you drop them off at their house or do they come to your house while you work/are out?
Before even TTC, we always figured that DH could drop off the baby and I could pick her up at my mom's house b/c of our work schedules. However, my dad brought up a good point the other day. He mentioned that maybe my mom should just come to my house before DH leaves for work and she can leave when I get home. That way, my mom won't need an extra set of everything and she'll have everything she needs at my house (at least in the very beginning). But, I also think it's partly my dad who will want to get her out of the house b/c they're both going to be unemployed/retired soon and IDK if they can actually spend all day cooped up inside their house together, lol.
IDK if I should bring it up yet or if I should wait and see how things go while I'm on maternity leave. Another thing is that I have 2 dogs that she loves, but I'm not sure if she'd want to spend everyday with a baby and two pomeranians, lol.
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Re: If your mom/MIL is your babysitter....
IMO, I think sitting at your house is the best option. Baby is already acclimated to the environment, and you will save $ on not having to duplicate items. Like you said, maybe just at the beginning. Maybe when baby is bigger (6mo) baby can go to your mom's house, or you can alternate.
Not sure your parents' relationship, but I prob see that your thoughts on your father's options may be valid... going from working 8 hrs a day to being home 24/7 is an adjustment, and include being home w/ wife and a baby maybe overwhelming?! Maybe his suggestion would work best for them... I know in my inlaws case, it would!
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
My MIL watched the baby when I started working and Madison was 7 months; at that time it was first suggested that she come to the house and then realistically, it worked out better to have the baby at her house.
All we did was give her the pack and play and she bought some toys, we gave her some. It worked out very well and the baby went to daycare 3 days a week when she turned one (so MIL has her only on Mondays and picks her up at 3 from daycare the other days) and Madison still goes to her house the one day a week.
It really depends on what you are comfortable with. Since MIL works from home it is better for us to have her there (and she even drops the baby off at our house when we get home which I love!).
Oh- we have a german shepherd too who is only two and very energetic- we had the same concerns about the dog getting too hyper (another reason for us the current situation worked out well)
In our situation, my mom takes care of the baby. But I taker Izzy to her. I drop her off in the morning and pick her up. Since DH's scehdule changes daily it didn't make sense for him to take her or pick her up. And we have two of everything so it was a bit costly. And have way toooooo much clothes b/c she has a closet at my house & at my parents. But it works out, for example, when DH & I took a night out the baby had everything there. So I didn't have to take things to my moms.
Just give every situation a shot. You don't know what will work till you are there. i.e., your mom my not want to spend the whole day at your house b/c she feels more comfortable at hers (even if both your parents just retired). Play w/the schedule, you'll find what works for you guys!!
Hi there!
I think each situation is different. I drop my son off at my moms house everyday. However, my office is around the corner from her house. So incase of an emergency or anything really I am 2 minutes away. She did buy her own set of stuff (crib, walker, stroller, pack and pay etc..) Also, I feel its more convenient for my mom to be in her own home so that when he is napping she can do what she needs to do around the house, bills etc.. She does work as well, but is home by the time I am there to drop him off.
I will tell you this, if this is your fathers first grandchild, everything will change when that baby is here! I found out I was pregnant at 5 months, and my father was no where near ready to be a grandfather (he would say this to my mom and she would tell me), and I would have to force him to feel the baby moving in my stomach. But when they brought the baby out of the operation room to where he and my mom were it was like someone flipped a switch. Now he wants Eric there everyday all day lol..So in reference to not having to buy a second set of the items, he may change his mind, and want you to bring her to them lol...
Keep us posted! xoxo
In my dad's case, he has been wanting a grandchild for a while. While my mom was putting on the pressure, he would jsut drop subtle hints. So, I think his suggestion was more b/c they would both be home all day bickering. They both worked all their lives, but my mom's office closed a few years ago and she has been semi-retired. She works on projects from time to time. They're both in architecture so things are really slow right now. My dad has to close his firm soon if they don't get a project. So, we're all really concerned about him being home all day. My mom makes herself productive, but my dad could easily turn lethargic and depressed if he finds himself with nothing to do. The baby's birth might actually be great timing to keep them both busy. But, together, my parents could spend all day bickering. They love each other, but OMG they're complete opposites!
I guess we'll play it by ear and see how it goes while I'm on maternity leave. I'll talk to her then about how she wants to handle it. I don't think they'd mind getting all the stuff. My mom keeps telling me that she's going to get a bunch of hand-me-downs from another relative who recently had a baby. I could also get her another playard since that pretty much brings everything she would need.
My MIL has been taking care of Alex since he was 2 1/2 months. The only thing we take to her is his diaper bag. When he started eating we would pack his food in the diaper bag. But now that he eats adult food she cooks him lunch. Another thing we didn't worry about was taking things to her house. My SIL lives with her and her son is 3 years older than Alex, so all his things Alex used; pack and play, highchair, swing, toys (tons of toys) etc. It's a different story when we go out and my mom watches the kids she has nothing! So I would take the stroller and she will use that as his highchair & "swing". She also has Gaby's old pack and play so he can sleep there and just hang out.
Like the ladies said you may want to plan ahead of time (it's the mom in us) but many times it will not work out like that. Things change once you see how the baby is, how she will react and if your mom even wants to spend the gas to go to your house daily since they are going to be unemployed.
When my mom watches Zachary we don't have to give her anything but the baby!
She has her own diaper bag (free one from the hospital!), her own sippies, her own clothes, and toys. She has a crib, playpen, DVD's, and anything else that Zachary could ever want. It is like having a complete 2nd home at her house, and she doesn't even watch him every day. She babysits whenever I need her to and sometimes he sleeps over.
She would never come watch him here because she likes to be in her own house so she can be on her schedule and have my dad there to help. It is much more convenient that way anyway, plus she has baby items of her own.
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
I wanted to add to that there really isn't that much to buy, we gave MIL a few sets of clothes and a blanket, the pack and play is just there and if we go away we take it for the weekend. If you get a second car base anyway it can stay in the car and for us, we have gotten so many toys that we just split it up. My mil has bought a few sippy cups since she likes having them at her house and we have always just left diapers and wipes since when we visit we don't have to bring a diaper bag.
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
We have a combination - MIL watches her at our house for most of the day, and then my mom picks her up when she gets out of school (teacher) and takes her to her house for the rest of the afternoon until DH or I pick her up.
My ILs live waaaaay out in West Kendall whereas we live in the South Miami area, 2 blocks outside of Coral Gables. I work in the Gables and DH works in Doral. So taking the baby to my ILs house would NOT have been an option. MIL knew when she volunteered to take care of Emma that it would have to involve her coming to our house. If it wouldn't have worked out that way, I would have had to make alternate arrangements to hire a nanny or put Emma in daycare. The commute for us to drop her off at ILs house and pick her up there in the afternoons would have just made no sense. Having MIL take care of her here has been ridiculously convenient and as annoyed as I get with her from time to time, I will be eternally grateful to her for making this sacrifice. Her whole life she's worked either Downtown or in the Gables, so she's used to the commute...now she just makes it to take care of her granddaughter instead of to work an office job! As you know, we have two dogs too, and while they do get on MIL's nerves from time to time, luckily she is a dog person and loves our dogs very much, so for the most part, she doesn't mind being with them all day.
My parents live less than a mile away from us and my mom drives right in front of our house every single day on her way to and from work. It's easy for her to just pick Emma up when she gets out of school (or come over from her house to pick her up in the afternoons now that school's out) and it's very easy for us to drive the extra 2 minutes to pick Emma in the afternoons. My mom is not a dog person and I know she wouldn't be comfortable spending time at our house alone with the two dogs. My dad works from a home office and has flexible hours, so he loves that the baby goes there because he gets to see her and spend time with her every day. They have a set of gear there - a pack'n'play that my mom had from when my little cousins were babies, a swing that I got as a hand-me-down, a bunch of toys, diapers, wipes, a few pacifiers, and a bottle. Now that Emma is eating solids, my mom will probably buy an inexpensive high chair. That's really all she's needed so far. I pack a bag for her every night with an extra set of clothes, breastmilk or formula, and any other miscellaneous stuff she might need.
So basically, I think it just depends on the situation...the distance from the houses, what everyone's schedules are like, etc. If BOTH scenarios are possible (your house or your parents), I would definitely give your mom's preference some consideration since ultimately she is doing you a favor. I wish I could have done as much for my MIL and had her take care of Emma at her house instead of ours, but it just wasn't possible because of the distance. We have a great arrangement right now with everybody coordinate really well and I feel very lucky to have such a great support system.