I never thought I'd say this...

redshoegirl

...I can see the appeal of being a SAHM.

I never ever ever thought I'd say that, but now that the boys are here and I've had two months of basically being a SAHM...yeah, I can see it. Just the thought of having to put them in daycare when October rolls around makes me tear up - I want to take care of them myself, not to turn them over to someone else, and I want to watch them grow and develop. They learn and do new things every day, and I love being with them to watch that happen. Don't get me wrong, it's hard as hell and totally exhausting, but so rewarding at the same time.

Staying home simply isn't an option for financial reasons, and I know that it might not always seem so attractive, especially since I love my job, and I love the personal fulfillment it brings me. And I also know that I'm extremely lucky to get to be at home with them full time for 6 months, then only work 3 days a week (but be paid for 5) for another 7 months - I know that many, if not most, women don't have that ability and I do value and appreciate it a great deal.

I guess I'm just surprised that I feel this way - I never imagined that part of me would want to be a SAHM. The things that change, eh? 

sanae78

I feel the same but I'm fortunate that I don't miss much since I work night shift. And I'm fortunate that B is home with her and we don't need day care. But I do still wish I could be home all the time. Maybe I'd feel different if I loved my job.

SanHawaii08

MH and I agreed long ago I'd have the option to be a SAHM should I choose to do so (so this has affected a lot of our major decisions - what city to live in, what house to buy, etc).  But I was just saying last night, as much as I don't like my job sometimes, I really like my paycheck...I think it will be hard to give it [the paycheck] up if I do indeed decide I want to stay home. 

sigh.  I don't like Monday mornings.  is it the weekend yet?

Maybe having the baby at home will make it easier to give up the money, haha.  Or, maybe I'll decide I want to work afterall, we'll see!  Plan is to enjoy my mat leave, then try going back to work for some number of months before deciding whether to stay home or not.

MauiWedding08

just like you I had those thoughts, I was really sad when I had to think about going back to work (it's awesome you get to stay out for 6 months!).  I kept thinking it would be sad to go back to work just when he was getting more interactive and "fun."  Plus I would think about how confused he might be when I just up and left and wasn't with him 24/7.

I'm no expert since I have only been back to work for 4 weeks but I really don't mind it.  Sure, I'm sad when I leave but I know that going to work makes the most sense for our family and my personality. 

Don't judge but I actually like getting out of the house and being something other than a mom and wife.  And I love the way Jack lights up when I get home.  I really like feeling refreshed and that we both get to spend time as a family of 3. When I stayed at home I resented that fact that I had to do so much during the day and when DH got home I basically just wanted to hand off Jack and then go sit quietly in my room and unwind - ha, like that was going to happen so I was often stressed out and we didn't utilize our evenings together as a family in a very loving way.  Being gone all day somehow refreshes both of us and make us really cherish the time we all spend together. 

And I do look forward to the stuff my salary will provide our family - taking nice vacations, paying for childrens' college, and providing nice a comfortable home.  Sure those things are not necessities, but it helps me to think about that stuff when I get up and leave every weekday.  But really, I do enjoy going to work - I'm sure I will miss some stuff, but I am still Jack's mommy and when I see his "firsts" it will still be the first that we share and I know the hours he does spend with me I am at my best.

SanHawaii08

MauiWedding08:

 

Don't judge but I actually like getting out of the house and being something other than a mom and wife.  And I love the way Jack lights up when I get home.  I really like feeling refreshed and that we both get to spend time as a family of 3. When I stayed at home I resented that fact that I had to do so much during the day and when DH got home I basically just wanted to hand off Jack and then go sit quietly in my room and unwind - ha, like that was going to happen so I was often stressed out and we didn't utilize our evenings together as a family in a very loving way.  Being gone all day somehow refreshes both of us and make us really cherish the time we all spend together. 

And I do look forward to the stuff my salary will provide our family - taking nice vacations, paying for childrens' college, and providing nice a comfortable home.  Sure those things are not necessities, but it helps me to think about that stuff when I get up and leave every weekday.  But really, I do enjoy going to work - I'm sure I will miss some stuff, but I am still Jack's mommy and when I see his "firsts" it will still be the first that we share and I know the hours he does spend with me I am at my best.

all of this is exactly why i think i may want to keep working afterall!  we shall see...

mrspresley

me too.  like you said before in another post, i never thought i would get so excited over little things like her figuring out she can touch and bat at the toys on her mat, learning to roll, crawl, etc.  it's all those things that are part of them growing that make it very appealing.  i was also surprised to find myself feeling that way too. i think it's fairly common though

i do enjoy "getting out" and doing something else when i go to work...which is why i guess it's nice that i can work part time and only 1-3 days per week. that said, i don't know how much i would miss my work if i was able to be a SAHM.  i think when she gets older and is in school i will definitely want to work more b/c then she'll be gone for a good part of the day.

HulaLove

I'm on the fence about the decision to be a SAHM.  I LOVE love love being at home with Elyse.  I'm so fortunate that I get the year to be at home with her. 

Sometimes I think that I want to stay at home and sometimes I think that I want to go back part time for all the reasons you guys have listed: adult time, self esteem, personal fulfillment, cash.  I've decided I'm definately going back full time though. 

Married2MrWright

I am right there with you and blogged about it last month.  I never, ever thought I'd want to be a SAHM.  Well I never thought I'd want to be a mom even, but now that I am, I'd love to be able to SAHM.  Not possible though.  And when it might be will be 5-6 years from now and then not as necessary since kiddies will be starting school then.

We are fortunate that for now, at least, she is home with daddy and/or grandma while I am at work.  I do feel that I miss out on a lot though...she is thriving and that's what matters most.

redshoegirl

MauiWedding08:

Don't judge but I actually like getting out of the house and being something other than a mom and wife.  And I love the way Jack lights up when I get home.  I really like feeling refreshed and that we both get to spend time as a family of 3. When I stayed at home I resented that fact that I had to do so much during the day and when DH got home I basically just wanted to hand off Jack and then go sit quietly in my room and unwind - ha, like that was going to happen so I was often stressed out and we didn't utilize our evenings together as a family in a very loving way.  Being gone all day somehow refreshes both of us and make us really cherish the time we all spend together. 

And I do look forward to the stuff my salary will provide our family - taking nice vacations, paying for childrens' college, and providing nice a comfortable home.  Sure those things are not necessities, but it helps me to think about that stuff when I get up and leave every weekday.  But really, I do enjoy going to work - I'm sure I will miss some stuff, but I am still Jack's mommy and when I see his "firsts" it will still be the first that we share and I know the hours he does spend with me I am at my best.

Oh I'd never judge that! I can totally understand, and once I get over the initial emotional rollercoaster of returning to work, I think I'll be the same. I mean, as it is I get excited if I can leave the boys with Ben and go grocery shopping lol - sometimes you just need to escape, you know? 

I also agree about looking forward to the stuff that my salary will provide. I know money isn't everything, but let's face it - it sure helps (and this is coming from someone who grew up in a home with a lot of love, but VERY poor).