How do you handle when both babies are crying at once???

Lil Kate

DS #1 is 21 months and is very needy and a mama's boy.  He cries in the middle of the night for me (when DH goes in to calm him) and in the morning before he should be awake (5 AM or so).  DS #2 wakes about 5 AM to eat and then goes back to sleep until 7 or so.  I am torn between the two of them.  It takes a long time to settle DS #1 and I finally put a video on for him but I would rather he go back to sleep because then he is cranky the rest of the day.  It is really hard when I am alone to make sure they are both getting what they need.  How do you do it?

j9lovey

I cry too!  But seriously...I feel as if my baby needs me more right now and my DD needs to understand that.  At 21 months he should be learning how to play independently...maybe you could try leaving him in the crib with some toys until you can get to him.  My DD is 2 right now and when the baby is sleeping I always try to do a quiet activity with her for a while.  

HarrietNJMommy

j9lovey:

I cry too!  But seriously...I feel as if my baby needs me more right now and my DD needs to understand that.  At 21 months he should be learning how to play independently...maybe you could try leaving him in the crib with some toys until you can get to him.  My DD is 2 right now and when the baby is sleeping I always try to do a quiet activity with her for a while.  

I guess I'm the opposite and was told the opposite as well. I deal with whoever can scream and cry the loudest/longest. That's 99% the older child(ren). I make sure that they are settled, then I tend to the little one.

I do agree that your older one needs to be a bit more independent, but the older child(ren) is the one that REMEMBERS being left to cry. Your baby won't remember being ignored.

GL!

gobigblue

there are times i also try to take care of #1 before #2.  it's easier and quicker to calm her down or get whatever she wants, etc.  sometimes that's not always the case though - just depends on the situation.  i agree that i might let #1 whine/fuss in his crib WHILE you tend to #2.  after a couple mornings, he might learn that he just needs to fend for himself whether he play w/ a stuffed animal or something or go back to sleep.  GL!

jschmidt35

I also take care of my oldest 1st. He will go on for longer, and w/ him carrying on it makes it harder for me to think and to get my little one to calm down. My older one is pretty needy/whiny also, but what I try to do is get him to use his words so he can communicate what he needs. He usually stops right away as long as I at least acknowledge what he is trying to tell me he needs.

 

VixenMama2

I'm still new to this, but they both spend a lot of time in my bed with me. If DS1 wakes up early and I need to feed the baby I bring both to my bed, cuddle and read, or watch some cartoons w DS1 while DS2 nurses. Then we go downstairs and start our day. I also seem to spend a lot of time on the floor cuddling both when they are both upset.

I was told to sooth the baby first because DS1 is old enough to wait for a few minutes while DS2 is still a newborn who can not wait. Who knows! It really depends on who is crying over what.

alli2672

I am not sure what is going on at your house, but sometimes #2 would wake up #1 during the night.  I would go and nurse #2 and leave my toddler in his crib.  He would almost always fall back asleep after a few minutes of crying.  If I got him out of his crib (or even went in his room) all bets were off, and he could be up for the day. 

I would tell your DH to hold off for 10 minutes or so and see if your older one falls back asleep.

During the day, I would attend to whichever need could be fixed the fastest.  If both are hungry, then I would set up #1 with a snack first and then nurse #2.  If they both are tired, then I would put #2 to bed first (because it is faster) and then attend to #1.

meeshybee

Lurking and oh! have I been here!

Ds was 20 mo's the day after DD was born. He was (and still is) a very demanding and impatient kid. Thankfully his sister was much more laid back as a baby.

I tried to make sure he got plenty of "mommy time" when the baby was sleeping. Tried to make him feel involved by "helping" me with the baby. But, invariably, they would both need me at the same time.

As far as daytime, try to stay ahead of him. Anticipate was my motto. I had crayons and paper ready to go, lunch and bottles made and stuck in the fridge while he was occupied with something else, and toys where he could get them out easily. If DD started crying, I'd get him occupied with something before getting her.

For night/morning, just stick with it. Maybe get a book only Daddy reads, if you think that will help calm him. Maybe let him have one toy in his bed? That helped my Ds a lot. I let him pick a reasonable toy at bedtime to take to bed with him. He would of course play with it, but he would stay in his toddler bed and eventually fall asleep. And if he woke up in the night, he'd play with the toy and go back to sleep.

GL!