In Tears

KelinandKevin

I am so lost, I am not sure what to do ladies.  There is something going on that may force us to put a stop on the IVF process - which is just 10 short days away.  I really need advice and I need to know what to do but I am afraid to post about it here because someone I work with is a bumpie.  I am just hysterical right now (drama queen) and I can't think straight. 

So I guess I just need to know - when you have a huge decision to make that impacts your future, how do you make it?  Have any of you ever taken a huge leap of faith with a job, or a relationship or something that had potential and it worked out great? Or did it totally fail?  How do you hold yourself together when you feel like its all falling apart?

TIA

bbhalphen

I'm so sorry Kelin!  Sending big hugs your way.  Honestly, I pray about it.  It helps me to feel more in control.

jen629

oh no sweetie I don't know if I can help but if you want to vent and PM me I will listen {{{HUGS}}}}

JuJuBe3

I'm sorry you're going through a tough time.  I make big decisions using a lot of different techniques.  I talk to DH a lot, I weight pros and cons, I pray and I try to think about my future with either outcome and how I'd feel. None of them are foolproof, but my hope is that it will help me feel closer to one way or another.

I took a leap of faith, sort of, to get out of a bad job situation and in this case, I felt hesitant and should've listened to that feeling.  If you have a feeling one way or another, go with it. 

I hope the right decision comes to you. 

And if I feel like I can't hold it together, I just don't.  I let all of those emotions out, even if it means screaming into a pillow.  Usually, after I have the breakdown, I can think more clearly.

jen629

KelinandKevin:

I am so lost, I am not sure what to do ladies.  There is something going on that may force us to put a stop on the IVF process - which is just 10 short days away.  I really need advice and I need to know what to do but I am afraid to post about it here because someone I work with is a bumpie.  I am just hysterical right now (drama queen) and I can't think straight. 

So I guess I just need to know - when you have a huge decision to make that impacts your future, how do you make it?  Have any of you ever taken a huge leap of faith with a job, or a relationship or something that had potential and it worked out great? Or did it totally fail?  How do you hold yourself together when you feel like its all falling apart?

TIA

and to answer your question as far as a leap of faith I lost my job and then I decided to pack up my life and move to NJ to be with the man I loved 7 years ago without a job and not seeing the apartment I was moving into it was so out of character for me but I am so glad I did it..I don't know if that helps but that was the one really big thing I did in my life

rabstbmom

Sorry you're faced with such a tough decision. WIthout knowing the specifics of your particular situation, I would have to say sometimes you do just have to take a leap of faith. I was raised Catholic, so my mom and I often refer to it as "putting it in God's hands". (If you're not religious, just disregard that--I'm definitely one to force my views on that subject on someone else). But there have been times when I've made a conscious decision to "put it in God's hands" that it will all work out and it usually does. A few years ago I was living in the city I went to college in and I felt like my life was falling apart--no relationship, lousy job, friends who had married/moved away, crappy apartment, etc., etc.

While home for the holidays a little though popped into my head that maybe I should just relocate back in my hometown. Now, my parents and I are close but there are several issues there that made me wonder if that was really the wisest thing to do, but I felt like something was drawing me back. So, I moved. The first  job I had wasn't great, and the apt left something to be desired, but by the time 18 months had passed, I had an opportunity to buy my own house and after another 18 months, I met the man who is now my husband. So, yeah, I'm a big believer in leaps of faith sometimes. My story might not relate at all to what you're dealing with, but I hope it helps you figure out your decision.

CarrieLeigh84

Kelin, love, I hope you're ok. We're always here to talk if you need to.

Sometimes, you just have to do what you feel is right, even if you have no proof that its the right thing to do. Trust your gut instincts. 

I would say pray about it, but I dont put a lot of stock in prayers these days. 

Sending you lots of love

BeachCole

Big hugs to you. I'm sorry that this is going on. For me when it comes to big things, I'm a list maker. I get out all my feelings, good and bad, about my choices. It clears my head. And then, I throw away the list. It might sounds silly, but for me, getting the rational, logical parts out of the way help me go with my heart and my gut - which are usually right. 

~*BREN*~

Kelin,

I'm so sorry.  When faced with really difficult decisions I usually will sit down and talk it over and over with DH until we come to a decision.  If there's one thing I have learned it's to trust your gut instinct...it is always right on the money.  I'm not sure exactly what you are dealing with, but I do know that I do believe in having faith, irregardless of what it is in.  Hang in there and I hope with all of my heart that it works out for the best for you and your DH. **HUGS**

KelinandKevin

You ladies are wonderful - thank you!

(I'm still bawling...hard time typing... damn horomones)

OCIrishBruin

(((huge hugs))) I am so sorry you are dealing with a difficult situation.

For me, I definitely just go with my gut on these types of things.  It has worked in the past.  In most situations we already know what we want to do, it's just scary pulling the trigger sometimes.

More (((hugs))).

dandyelle

I always do best to write it all down, and prioritize, or re-prioritize. Deciding what is most important to me is what helps me feel best about whatever decision I make. And seeing it all on paper helps me come to terms with the decision I have to make. I'm sure it sounds kind of nerdy, but I get emotional and totally unable to keep it all straight, especially when it's all important.

Most of all, take care of yourself...

I know I don't post all that much, but I have been following your story for a long time- I'm very sorry to see that you are so upset right now.

Be well, and keep us posted.

ShellShockedMama

This isn't remotely the same, but I took a HUGE leap of faith when I quit my good paying job b/c it was kiling me. I left w/o any prospect of a new job. I was unemployed for 6 months before finding a new, poorly paying job. If I knew then what I know now, I would have made the same decision all over again. 

We took some hits and we're recovering from them, but I don't regret for a second my decision. Not one second. 

Scout05

Oh Kelin, I wish I could just hug you right now.

Life is full of leaps and it is so, so hard to live through the process sometimes. I don't know if I have any great advice on how to get through it. I just focus on the fact that I have love and support all around me in my friends and family, and that no matter what, that support is going to be there.

You have us, always. We are always going to be here, supporting and loving you, no matter what. I doubt that makes it all that easier, but it's the truth.

triple_sevens

Kel, when I have to make a frightening decision, I spend one day telling myself "I chose option A" and all day I make myself think that that is what will happen. Then I spend a day deciding that I chose Option B. And I see which one feels better in my gut.

Or a flip a coin. If my heart sinks at the result, I know it was the wrong one.

Good luck to you.

schen0510

Oh hun...I am so sorry.  I do not really have any advice as to how to make this decision.  But I have been through the IVF process multiple times and I am going back with my next cycle...so if you need/want to talk specifics...please pm me...((hugs))  I hope everything works out.

3ltlones

Oh Kelin sweetie, I'm so sorry.  I wish I could give you a huge hug.  I think we all take leaps at some point in our lives.  I think the best way to look at it is to think about how you would feel after the leap.  Will you feel better not taking it and losing whatever you are potentially leaping for?  Or is it worth the risk and just leaning on others to help you through the big leap?  Always remember that you have so many people on your side and we will do everything we can to help you through.  Huge hugs.

babes12

i know this sounds lame but i really do believe that everything happens for a reason and you need to go w/ your gut instinct. 

i know it's the worst bit of advice but you need to do what feels right. 

((HUGS))

mdm2137

I usually pray too and just hope I'm making the right decision. Good luck and big hugs.

Mrs.EmmaLouise

I'm so sorry  ((HUGS))  I usually just listen to my gut.  I left a really crappy job that made me depressed but had really good health insurance, with no other prospects.  It ended up great, I got an amazing job with better benifits right away. 

I don't know what your huge decision is, but I wish you luck.  ((BIG HUGS)) 

mlmtgg

oh sweetheart - these monumental issues/decisions/forces we are against are too much. while I don't know your situation, for me the biggest leap I took was leaving my job and starting my own practice. This was something that just happened - a chance came along, the timing was right and I did it. Now this doesn't mean it wasn't absolute agony making the decision, mulling the numbers/security/etc. over and over and over. and a lot of tears. It was also at a time that my DH was just starting his first post-lawschool job - so we had no other security. But it was the time for a risk - because the possibility was there that it would never happen again. I'm so glad I tried. Not just tried, but succeeded (and while it took a few years to blossom, it was worth it). I now know if I had waited, I never would have done it. hugs sweetie - and please call on me anytime if you need anything. I know you will do what is right for you and your family.

Erin RN

I'm so sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) To answer your question, my husband and I took a huge leap by moving from WI to CA. It hasn't been the most ideal experience, but we are getting by. It was a dream of mine to move here since I was little and my DH loves it here now. I think sometimes you have to do what your gut tells you, otherwise you will always ask yourself "what if." I hope you are able to find some guidance or answers to your problem. ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

TravelinMama

I'm so sorry Kelin. Lots of PT's that you make the decision that is best for you!! :::hugs:::

PeetiePie

Oh Kelin, I'm so sorry you're faced with such a difficult decision.  I pray you have the wisdom to make the best choice for you and your DH.  (((big hugs))) We all love you. 

DoingItRight

I am so sorry that you are having to go though this.  {{{{{{Big Hugs}}}}}

Can you make a list of pro/cons?  It is so hard making big life decisions.

surfergirlkona

I am sorry, Kelin.  I have no idea what you are faced with but I hope everything works out for you.  I tend to follow my heart in difficult situations.  You have waited so long for this time to come.  I am going to keep you in my thoughts that you can continue to move forward with IVF to get your baby you so deserve.  I want this for you so much.   ((hugs))

butterfly843

((hugs)) When dh and I were dating just about a year I took a leap of faith and moved to vegas with him because that is what he wanted to do. We got engaged and married when we lived there. We have since moved back to NY, but I learned a lot about myself during that time. I also am in an ivf cycle and just yesterday took a different position at work. It will be a little harder to work around my dr's appt's but they promised me we can work it out. It will be a much less stressful position and I no longer have to deal with my idiot boss.

rjl07

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this Kelin.  I'm sure the IVF cycle is stressful enough without having to deal with other stuff on top of it.  I'm a big believer that everything happens for the best so I'm sure you will make the decision that is best for you and DH.  I also make lists too of the pros and cons to help make sure I consider everything.

I wish you the best in making this decision.  Good luck!!!

Court1

Just wanted to give you a :big hug:.  You'll know what the right decision is.  Go with it.

LMichelleG

Kelin I'm so sorry you are going through something so trying. I am a prayer, and that's how I get through (good or bad). Big hugs to you!!