Question re: spoiling LO

Married2003

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/38074647.aspx

This is what I posted on the 0-3month; but I would also like your opinions.  Thanks

YaraC

Anyone who tells you you are spoiling your baby should be immediately kicked in the teeth. You cannot spoil a newborn.

The "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy should never be applied to infants. 

superaunt

I remember one day during my maternity leave my in laws stopped by to drop soemthing off and, of course, see teh baby. Sabrina was napping on me in a Moby wrap and while it's not like that was the only way she'd nap (she's a very easy baby), I knew that I only have X amount of time to relish in that closeness with her. MIL made some comment about how I would spoil her and I just IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.

Hold that baby as much and as long as you want to! They are only this little ONCE. Gah, I'm getting weepy again. It's been a rough day bc my baby girl is just growing SO fast and it's hard to see when you have to sit at work and watch from teh sidelines.

leffe1

I constantly held Gracie for the 1st few months! She is a bit too heavy now to hold all the time..Ouch my back LOL! Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can spoil your child by holding them. All I have to say to them is FEH!

JenniferTCU

YaraC:

Anyone who tells you you are spoiling your baby should be immediately kicked in the teeth. You cannot spoil a newborn.

The "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy should never be applied to infants. 

100% this. People, including DH, told me the same thing. Nonsense.

dianah36

superaunt:

I remember one day during my maternity leave my in laws stopped by to drop soemthing off and, of course, see teh baby. Sabrina was napping on me in a Moby wrap and while it's not like that was the only way she'd nap (she's a very easy baby), I knew that I only have X amount of time to relish in that closeness with her. MIL made some comment about how I would spoil her and I just IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.

Hold that baby as much and as long as you want to! They are only this little ONCE. Gah, I'm getting weepy again. It's been a rough day bc my baby girl is just growing SO fast and it's hard to see when you have to sit at work and watch from teh sidelines.

This is how I feel today. Hold onto that little baby for as long as you can. How could you possible spoil anyone, never mind a baby, by simply loving them?

stever

YaraC:

Anyone who tells you you are spoiling your baby should be immediately kicked in the teeth. You cannot spoil a newborn.

The "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy should never be applied to infants. 

  This times a thousand!

Dr.Loretta

To be honest, i'd just smile and say, "Well, I guess he's going to get spoiled then." What can they say to that?

Fortunately my parents don't believe in this spoiling nonsense at infancy, and most of us were spoiled in one way or another anyway. My grandma sent a congrats card when DD was born saying, "Love her but don't spoil her." It got the side-eye from everyone else in the family.

Kandie35

YOU CANNOT SPOIL A CHILD WITH LOVE AND AFFECTION!

Meh. Ignore. I have ignored that garbage with five different babies...your skin gets thick after awhile. lol. hold, kiss, adore all you want. i think if the baby/child will let you and enjoys it - keep doing it until your heart is content!!!! Despite holding them every second i could, somehow my oldest two are going to college and military school. trust me, you will not regret the time relishing these moments!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh, and they still hug and kiss me and call me mommy...IN FRONT OF THEIR FRIENDS at 19.5yrs, almost 17 yrs, and even my nearly 15yr old!!! I love the affection and hope they "spoil" me!    ;-)

(oht- as per usual)

Peppernut

IGNORE!  You can't spoil a newborn.  You might spoil your back and shoulders, but that's why there are so many nice carriers and slings out there!

If you are holding him a lot when he makes it clear he wants to be put down, well, maybe that could be a problem. 

nisems

There are SO many benefits to holding a baby.  This statistic (I've actually seen many different numbers, this is just what I found easily when I googled), is in regards to baby wearing, but I believe it would also apply to simply baby holding as well.  "research has shown that babies who are carried cry 43% less overall and 54% less during the evening hours." 

M.Amy

IGNORE!  Now that Matty is on the move he rarely wants to be held for long periods of time (he loves to be picked up but then wants to get down just as fast).

I wish I had held and cuddled him more when he was small!  I would turn back the clock and wear him 24x7 (okay that is extreme but you get the jist).

 

ShannonLK

mbenit4:

First let me say I don't think you can "spoil" a baby.

I do think the baby will get used to being held all the time. I don't understand why people just sit around and hold their baby all the time. I am not talking about feedings, playing with them, cuddling, etc. but just sitting there holding the baby all day. I am sorry I do feel babies get used to that. When I had Mia I could not sit there and hold her all day. I had dinner to cook, house to clean, laundry to wash, bottles to make, etc.  I also knew she was going in daycare and they weren't going to hold her all day so I didn't want to start that. I don't feel you have to hold a baby for them to know their needs will be met. Don't get me wrong, Mia was with me all day non stop. I don't have family here so it has been all me but when I wasn't feeding, changing, playing with her etc. I put her in her carrier or bouncer. Mostly her carrier because I could move her all around. She went with me if I went to the bathroom, if I was in the kitchen washing dishes etc she was right there. Now if she cried of course I picked her up and saw to her needs but to be carrying her all day, no I didn't do that. I do not plan on doing that with this one either.  

 

I personally don't understand why some people don't sit around and hold their baby all the time.  They are little for such a short amount of time. I basically sat around my entire 6 weeks of maternity leave holding Logan. That was the best 6 weeks I've had in YEARS!

orchidwedding

Now that I am having some postpartum problems, I can not hold him enough - I want to be there to love him always!  And yes, I do put him down to shop, clean, cook, and do laundry, but that still leaves plenty of time for hugs and love.  I just want him to know me and my hubbie and our family and our daycare family.  I think it is a generational thing - do not worry some of their ideas of spoiling will need to be reigned in later on.  I am surprised they do not want to spoil LO!