Question!

cindymarcelo

I am new to the bump and but have been on the knot and the nest. My hubby and I are newly weds and I am trying not to get ahead of myself but the thought of having children is all I can think about. 

When is to soon to start having children after marriage?

 

Dr.Loretta

There is no set answer to that question. Some things to think about:

What are your finances like? They don't need to be perfect, but the costs of a child need to be factored in when talking about finances.

How does your DH feel? Is he ready to TTC now, or does he want to wait?

How old are you? Do you have some time, reproductively speaking, to wait to TTC?

What is your job situation (you and DH)? Stable jobs? Do you have FMLA available for when you go out on maternity leave?

Do you plan to go back to work after a baby? Do you have plans for childcare? If you don't plan to go back to work, can your budget handle it?

Why are you getting baby fever now? Is it something new to focus on after the wedding, or are you really ready for baby?

GL

smithleye

Cindy, IMHO you should wait until you?ve at least had your first anniversary together before TTC.  Now with that said ? every thing that PP has asked in her questions is viable because she has asked some very, very important things of you.  I totally concur with ?Dr.Loratta? in her posting all of it.

You must answer them being totally honest in your answers ? both of you!  This is for you to do in private.  But Do It!!!

I might add it would be nice for you both to have a nest egg in liquid assets equal to both your salaries for an entire year in savings to fall back on if times get bad/hard.  A baby in today?s economy is going to cost in the neighborhood of 230 ? 270 K from birth to age 18 that?s just through high school.  With an additional 200 ? 250 K to age 23 if college is in its future.  Think about this long and hard.  Now don?t get me wrong this is national averages.  A child is something special ? to be loved by both of you.

I know you didn?t ask this; but, here?s just a little something extra ? advice on a baby (child) they need both a mother and father so if you do get pregnant ? get your DH involved in the child before as well as after it?s born.  He is just as important in the conception, birth, and care of this child as you are.  NEVER EVER FORGET THAT ? NOT EVEN FOR A MOMENT.  It take both you to conceive and both to rear a baby to adulthood.

Now GOD bless you both no matter what you decide.

~~Emily~~