When NIP I do feel bad for men who have this response

KateLouise

I know some men have no issues with BF or naked breasts. But when faced with a BF mother feel uncomfortable.

It seems to be that men have been taught not to stare at breasts. But of course it's often impossible not to see at least part of a woman's breast when she's feeding if you look in her direction.

So I know some men see a woman BF and think, "don't look, don't look" not because they are actually having to stop themselves from having a perv, but because they don't want to be perceived as creepy. 

So I do feel a bit bad for these men, and I can sympathise with them, but I don't know how to make it any better for them when it so strongly ingrained in out men that it's wrong to stare at breasts.

I was nursing LO at home. DH's friend was chatting to me, then wandered out of the room. He suddenly bounced back into the room whilst I was trying to get LO back on the breast and my breast was completely exposed. He mumbled an apology and shot out of the room again. Classic case of, "I'm totally ok with BF, but I just saw my friend's, wife's breasts...eekkk" moments. 

diana.filipi

Haha, I know what you mean. 

Hubs and I were at brunch this Sunday for his 41st and our frined was sitting beside me.  His wife is expecting but I could tell he felt a bit funny when he looked over and I was bf Ophelia.

flutiefrostie

I think frequent NIP will help that. If men get used to seeing women breastfeed, they won't feel so awkward when it happens. 

emmavenus77

Now when you say NIP, you mean just normal sitting and breastfeeding your child right?

I ask because I was at an event recently where people were walking around in a park after a concert and I came across this woman who was walking around with her full breast exposed and her baby just hanging from it while she was holding the baby in one arm.  I've never seen that before and was taken aback. 

KateLouise

emmavenus77:

Now when you say NIP, you mean just normal sitting and breastfeeding your child right?

I ask because I was at an event recently where people were walking around in a park after a concert and I came across this woman who was walking around with her full breast exposed and her baby just hanging from it while she was holding the baby in one arm.  I've never seen that before and was taken aback. 

well i just sit and nurse, but my transitions aren't always very elegant 

emmavenus77

KateLouise:

emmavenus77:

Now when you say NIP, you mean just normal sitting and breastfeeding your child right?

I ask because I was at an event recently where people were walking around in a park after a concert and I came across this woman who was walking around with her full breast exposed and her baby just hanging from it while she was holding the baby in one arm.  I've never seen that before and was taken aback. 

well i just sit and nurse, but my transitions aren't always very elegant 

It's going to take me a loooong time to master the whole thing.  I'm not exactly a graceful person to begin with

Army_Wife_04

I notice this response often as well.  I had movers at my house and every time they walked into the room where I was nursing, they quickly said "oh sorry" and walked away as if they were embarrassed (I was not exposed at all).  I just smile and continue on so to hopefully put people at ease.  I was visiting my mother and nursing in her room when my stepfather walked in.  I just said "hi" to let him know I was in there.  He turned quickly around and shut the door behind him. I know he was embarrassed, poor guy, startled by me in his room with a boob out!

ArmyBride14

flutiefrostie:

I think frequent NIP will help that. If men get used to seeing women breastfeed, they won't feel so awkward when it happens. 

I agree with this.  I grew up in a family where it more normal to see one of my aunts BFing my cousins than it was to see them bottle feeding.  It is a well known fact that my oldest cousin BF until he was 18 months old and would walk up to my aunt and lift up her shirt.  None of the males in my family would think anything weird about it and I often sit in the family room at family gatherings and BF DS.  I've only started using bedrooms recently now that DS gets distracted so easily but my high school age female cousin usually comes with me to chat. 

I feel more bad for men that teenage girls walk around with their boobs hanging out and with shorts barely covering their butts.  I see way more of that kind of stuff than I do of NIP.  It's a shame.

KateLouise

ArmyBride14:

flutiefrostie:

I think frequent NIP will help that. If men get used to seeing women breastfeed, they won't feel so awkward when it happens. 

I agree with this.  I grew up in a family where it more normal to see one of my aunts BFing my cousins than it was to see them bottle feeding.  It is a well known fact that my oldest cousin BF until he was 18 months old and would walk up to my aunt and lift up her shirt.  None of the males in my family would think anything weird about it and I often sit in the family room at family gatherings and BF DS.  I've only started using bedrooms recently now that DS gets distracted so easily but my high school age female cousin usually comes with me to chat. 

I feel more bad for men that teenage girls walk around with their boobs hanging out and with shorts barely covering their butts.  I see way more of that kind of stuff than I do of NIP.  It's a shame.

i agree with your point about teenage girls wearing next to nothing.

I'm a high school teacher and I had an argument with the teacher in charge of costumes for our school show Grease. 

She put our Rizzo in tiny knickers that barely covered her ass. beyond the fact that they were outrageously not 50s style, you could hear an audible gasp when she came on stage. The men in the audience didn't know where to look. I felt that we, as teachers, and her mother had failed her. 

sunnyday016

I think it's a really tough balance for guys and that in many ways they can't win either way. If they continue to have a conversation with you in an attempt to keep things "normal", they worry about being perceived as creepy and not giving a nursing mother some privacy (and a lot of nusing mothers would appreciate that privacy). If they avoid the nursing mother, then it seems like they are isolating her and banishing her to nurse in a room all alone, and unintentionally send the message they don't approve of a mom nursing out in the open in a group of people.

At first my dad kind of avoided me and DD when we would nurse at my parents house because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. But now it's not such a big deal since we've done it so often.

JulyFiveBride

When DD1 was born, FIL would always excuse himself from the room if I started nursing her. He's a very sweet, modest man and I really think he was trying to be polite and give us privacy/make me more comfortable.

Then he realized that newborns nurse 24/7 and he stopped doing it and started hanging around saying "is she done yet? When she's done I can hold her.... Is she still eating? I'll take her if you're finished..."  lol.