Toddler then twins? 1st week from hospital

mamam

I'm trying to imagine when the twins come home (assuming everyone comes home together).  Would it be a good or bad idea to have the older sibling stay with other family for a little bit?

My first thought is she would feel sent away, but she LOVES going to Nana's and spends lots of time with her cousins while she's there so it's super fun for her (probably more fun then being home).  I just can't decide what is best, would it be a bit easier that first week not to have to care for her too when we're out of sorts or if we'd really miss her and just want the family as one unit.  I'm trying to think about what's best.  I also don't want her to feel neglected at home when we're trying to get back into the groove of the newborn thing again.  Your thoughts?

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i couldn't dream of sending Griffin away during that special time.  I missed him horribly the 4 nights we were in the hospital (he was at my sister's house having a blast)... Sure- it was a lot of work when we were all home together- but totally doable with my husband's help.

We did keep him in full time daycare while i was on maternity leave- so during the week he was having fun at school... while DH and I were home together caring for the twins (he was home for 4w).  Weekends were a little nuttier- but it was great for Griffin to get to know his brothers, how to help with babies, etc.  he was 2y2mo when they were born and he loved them right away - we made sure he got a ton of attention so he never had issues with the babies.

 

BizEB

I could see daycare or having someone take your older child out during the day but I cannot personally imagine sending my son away when the twins first get here.  It's his house now and I think they should come into his house and, besides, I would miss him. 

carolina1178

we are keeping ds home with us and trying to keep him as close to his regular routine as possible, my inlaws are coming to our house to stay with ds while I am in hospital...dh will be back and forth when ds is sleeping.

I couldn't imagine ds not being home with us when the twins come home...he doesn't completely comprehend what is happening but he know there are babies coming :-) that is the time for us to all spend time together (as hectic as it will be), I want him to be a part of that.

would is possible for someone to come to your home and help you with ds? or take him out on day outings?

SoldiersGreenBean

DD went to day care, as she usually does.  She was home with us in the evenings and on weekends.  I can't imagine having sent her away, only to come home and find two new things that demand constant attention in her house.

She came with DH to bring us home from the hospital, and she loved it.  It can get crazy, but I definitely would do it the same way again.

Dec31stBride

Trial by fire is the way to go.

DS stayed with his grandparents the night before my induction only. We came home from the hospital on the Friday before Memorial Day weekend, so we had Fri - Mon with DS home. He's usually in daycare M-F.

DS did very well. It didn't hurt that we had tons of family visitors and he received many big brother gifts that weekend.

I think it would be bad to send her away all week.

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We were definitely against sending JR away when the twins came home.  He also loves going to his grandma and pawpaw's, but we didn't want there to be an inkling of an idea that he was ever being replaced.  When we brought our boys home, he showed no jealousy, he helped change diapers and feed them, he had a blast helping care for his baby broders.

jettagurl

We had both older kids here for about 3 nights after I came home (with both babies), then they went to my parents' house for about 5 nights.  They were here for those special first days (and my parents were as well....and that was great - my Dad was able to drive us to the dr for bili checks), then they got a break from new/frequently waking babies and have fun with Mamaw and Papaw.  They came back excited to see the babies and eager to help...it all worked out beautifully.  

 

petitbelle

We will be staying at my mom's for the first couple of weeks...for the help and for some privacy. (People are less likely to drop in for a visit if your not at home) My 2 1/2 year old may spend the first couple of nights in maw maw's room...which she has before with no problem.

mamam

Thanks for the perspective ladies. I think I was leaning toward the same decision but am anxious of how it will be at first and how she's going to feel when the attention isn't totally directed toward her.  We had a talk this weekend and she said she doesn't want the babies anymore.    Poor thing.