I feel as if my life has shattered this week.

sapphire angel · June 2010

Fiance and I have decided to take a "break." We've been together for 5 years now.

I completely blame my depression but can't help wondering if maybe it just wasn't meant to be if we can't get through this together. I was doing great, no tears, very few unhappy or episodes of silently zoning out....until FI came home. When he texted to say he was coming home I turned in to a basket of nerves and snapped at every little thing. I'm so irritable and easily set off into anger or tears. It's like the last 7 weeks of improvement never happened and I'm trapped in all these overwhelming emotions again. I kind of blame him for this too. I feel like he should have been here helping me with LO but I have done so much better with LO while FI is out of the picture. When he suggested this weekend that he quit his job and look for one here in town, I snapped. I told him that if he choose to do that then he could find somewhere else to live because I was not going to work my a$$ off to keep LO in daycare and let him sit at home like the last 4 years have been. The end of the that argument led to us taking a break. He'll stay on the couch for the remainder of his vacation and will pick up LO's childcare costs.

I feel like I'm going crazy with these yo-yo emotions but so far all I can really say is that I was happier when FI was out of town.