I'm 15 weeks and terrified that I'm going to have postpartum depression. I've been quite depressed as it is this whole time. I love children but this wasn't in my cards right now. I'm not done with college, I had just been excepted into a very prestigious dance company, I'm not married, and frankly I just cannot afford it. I'm still discovering who I am. I'm terrified that I'm so selfish at the moment that I'll resent the baby and it's such a horrible thing to even think. My mother blamed me for alot while growing up and in turn I have some trouble fixing some negative qualities about myself. I don't want to harm this baby in any way. I want to make sure that I have an unconditional connection with this child and that I raise it in the absolute most loving ways. Everything I keep reading though terrifies me. If I'm stressed while pregnant I can be harming the baby. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated right now or even anything that leads me down the right path... reccomended books?
Re: Terrified!
Have you thought about adoption? They even have open adoptions where you can still see your child. Just an option for you. With my second daughter I will sadly say that I didn't have that unconditional connection to her for quite some time. However I was married and so that helped having someone else there (very colicky).
I am sorry I donh't really have much insight for you. But if you ever overwelmed then you can always PM me. I suffer from severe Depression and Anxiety.