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North Dakota Babies
NBR - VENT - WWYD
DH's sister is getting married in Oct. I'm not close with her and I don't want to be in the wedding, but she wants DH and I to stand up together. So I reluctantly agreed (which I should not have).
So here is my question...who threw your shower. For me it was my mom and she took care of everything. This was the same for all the other weddings/showers that I stood up in. So maybe this is why (or maybe it is because I'm just not that close to her and really don't want to be in the wedding)...but I just got an email about how much will I be contributing and what hall are we going to rent (not to mention that I live 2.5 hours away) for the shower and I'm a little miffed.
I really don't even want to go to the shower. I'd love to just send my gift and be done.
The bachlorette party was also mentioned in the email and I understand the bridesmaids paying for this, but I don't want to go to that either.
We just moved into our new house, are still paying on our old one (not sold yet) and I opted to not get paid over the summer this year for teaching, so I really don't have much to give.
I asked DH if I have to do it and he got all pissy and said I should have just said no in the beginning (which he is right), but can I opt out now? I REALLY HAVE NO INTEREST IN BEING IN HER WEDDING!
(And as far as her involvement in my wedding...she came to my shower and sent a card when we returned from the Bahamas (she didn't go)).
I'm totally being a ***, I know...
ETA: We have not ordered the dresses yet. I'm supposed to do that this week so I have to make a decision very soon!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NBR - VENT - WWYD
I think I might. I saw the DR. on Fri. RE: PPD which she knows nothing about and I hate to think of it as an excuse but I really can't have anything more on my plate.
I really don't want to go on meds and my Dr. gave me two weeks to see how I'm doing then (with the promise if I need her before then I call) and I feel this would not help my situation at all!
This. In my circle the BMs always throw the shower and cost is typically split evenly. Some people think it's bad taste for the MOB to throw the shower. I've never been to one where the MOB was the host. Being a BM is a a pretty large financial and time commitment. Hopefully, she'll understand that you simply don't have the funds or time. GL!
In my circle, family throws the shower.
Definitely talk to her and just explain you have a lot going on right now and don't feel you can give the wedding the attention it deserves. (I think killing her with kindness during this conversation is the best idea.)
Katy and Brett ~ Runaway Bay, Jamaica ~ October 4, 2008
Agreed with the killing her with kindness. I have a feeling there will be hard feelings no matter what but just be as sweet as you can and explain about the financial issues, PPD, etc, and you would just LOVE to do it but don't see how you can. Hugs and good luck!
This! She will be hurt, but just explain that you can't right now. Hugs, I hope it all turns out okay
Maybe her asking you to be part of the wedding had nothing to do with what she thinks you could/should contribute. She may have asked simply because you are family.
If I were in your situation and couldn't afford the extras (money/time-wise), I would either call or shoot an e-mail to her saying that you would still love to be part of her special day but that the extras are a source of a problem for you and explain why. Most people respond well to the truth.
I am not sure of your relationship with her (or DH's) but I think it was a nice gesture for her to want you in the wedding. I didn't expect anyone in my party to do anything for me.
My sisters threw my showers and bachelorette party.