WWYD? Re:sitter

MrsBlayne

The sitter started last week. Before she started, we talked about if we really wanted her driving B around, and talked about possibly pulling her driving record before she drove anywhere with h the baby. it just makes us nervous, we have no idea how she drives and her car is pretty old and beat up. I'm pretty sure it is pre-LATCH. As I posted last week, she ended up bringing the baby up to my work on Weds. (I put the carseat base in the garage just in case and when she said she was going to bring her up I told her where it was.) That night I thought about putting the base back in my car but thought it would be pretty obvious if I did. On thurs, she sent me a text asking if she could go drive through and get some fast food. We provide food for her to eat while she is at our house. I told her yes because I felt like saying no would be unreasonable, but I really didn't want her to. I feel bad expecting her to be stuck at our house all day, but at the same time that is kinda what she is getting paid for. The other issue is that I have no way of knowing if she is even installing the carseat correctly, and the more it is in and out of cars, the greater chance of it being put in improperly. I asked DH and he was no help. How would you handle this? BTW, I am aleady gone for work by the time she comes, and she is gone before I get home, so it would have to be handled by DH (or phone or note).

Ashleysred

Can you have your DH show her how to install the car seat?  I think this is a good idea just in case.

FWIW, I don't think there is any reason for her to leave the house just to go get fast food.  She can get fast food on her own time. 

And I don't think that asking her not to drive with B is unreasonable until you have at least checked her DMV printout and showed her how to install the car seat. 

Also, as far as being stuck at your house, she isn't.  I am sure that she can take walks with Miss B as much as she wants.

LMJacobs23

I completely agree with Ashley- I dont think there is any reason she needs to be leaving the house...especially if you're providing food. I do think she should have access to a carseat in case of emergency- but only for emergencies. And like you said, she's getting paid to stay are your house...HTH & GL

BlondeBeachBride08

IMO what makes this difficult is that she already HAS driven with the baby so it makes it a little more awkward to ask her not to.

If I were in this situation I would leave the base in my car (installing the base multiple times in different cars does up the chance of errors) and I'd show her how to safely put the seat in her car using the seatbelt hooks. (I used this method exclusively with baby J and despite scouring the internet, couldn't find any info on it being less safe than the base). Either that or get a 2nd base for her to leave in her car, but I think a 2nd base would encourage driving...

Then I would specifically outline that until she is older and involved in activities, you prefer that B stays at home during the day besides walks around the neighborhood (point out walkable parks etc). And specifically say you'd prefer not to have her go anywhere in the car unless it is an emergency. (This makes it clear that you don't want her driving now but leaves the option open for the future if B does gymboree class or something) 

To address the fast food issue, I agree that she should not have NEEDED food if you have food at the house. I'd say something like, "I noticed last week you couldn't find something you liked in the house, if you make a list of foods you like for lunch we'll be sure to pick them up at the store for you so you don't need to go out again while you're here."

This is how I would want a family I was working for to approach things. I learned the hard way that if you are not up front and direct it can lead to mixed messages and hard feelings so even if it means one awkward conversation, it's better to nip this in the bud!!

I'll also add that with Baby J the parents encouraged me to take her and do things so I drove her around maybe 2-3 days a week. We went to a play group, went to story time, would even go to Target sometimes and I loved it because, hey, being stuck inside with a newborn can make for long days. HOWEVER, I would have been TOTALLY fine staying home with her if they had asked me to because the parents are THE BOSSES and just like in any job, that needs to be clear. She can break up her days with walks in the stroller, she doesn't need to drive the baby around.

Good Luck! 

BlondeBeachBride08

P.S. I'd probably talk to her on the phone about it all and then have DH show her how to put the car seat in. that way you know it was all covered to your standards. A note could come off the wrong way and, no offense to your husband, who knows if he'd actually say everything you're worried about. lol. I know I'd want to have the actual conversation.

AprilJT

BlondeBeachBride08:

IMO what makes this difficult is that she already HAS driven with the baby so it makes it a little more awkward to ask her not to.

If I were in this situation I would leave the base in my car (installing the base multiple times in different cars does up the chance of errors) and I'd show her how to safely put the seat in her car using the seatbelt hooks. (I used this method exclusively with baby J and despite scouring the internet, couldn't find any info on it being less safe than the base). Either that or get a 2nd base for her to leave in her car, but I think a 2nd base would encourage driving...

Then I would specifically outline that until she is older and involved in activities, you prefer that B stays at home during the day besides walks around the neighborhood (point out walkable parks etc). And specifically say you'd prefer not to have her go anywhere in the car unless it is an emergency. (This makes it clear that you don't want her driving now but leaves the option open for the future if B does gymboree class or something) 

To address the fast food issue, I agree that she should not have NEEDED food if you have food at the house. I'd say something like, "I noticed last week you couldn't find something you liked in the house, if you make a list of foods you like for lunch we'll be sure to pick them up at the store for you so you don't need to go out again while you're here."

This is how I would want a family I was working for to approach things. I learned the hard way that if you are not up front and direct it can lead to mixed messages and hard feelings so even if it means one awkward conversation, it's better to nip this in the bud!!

I'll also add that with Baby J the parents encouraged me to take her and do things so I drove her around maybe 2-3 days a week. We went to a play group, went to story time, would even go to Target sometimes and I loved it because, hey, being stuck inside with a newborn can make for long days. HOWEVER, I would have been TOTALLY fine staying home with her if they had asked me to because the parents are THE BOSSES and just like in any job, that needs to be clear. She can break up her days with walks in the stroller, she doesn't need to drive the baby around.

Good Luck! 

I completely agree with everything here including that you should talk to her on the phone.  I know my DH wouldn't cover it the way that I wanted it covered and then there would end up being more confusion. 

MrsBlayne

Thanks for the input. I am not completely against her taking B places if there is a reason for it, but I can't think of too many outings that she would get anything out of at this age besides the park, which is practically across the street. I will have to suck up my dislike of ackward conversations and give her a call

katers1279

I couldn't agree more with what Morgan has said.  An uncomfortable converstation is better now than later.

MmeBP

I could not have said it any better than Morgan!

eamaines

I agree that she shouldn't be leaving the house for fast food but IMPO I wouldn't expect her to sit in my house all.day.long.

I would highly suggest purchasing another base to just leave in her car if it bothers/worries you that much...for $80 or so & peace of mind it's totally worth it IMO.

GL!!

aleikela

I also agree with M.  You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable or worry while you're away.  I am also extremely weird about other ppl driving around with Kash.  Like Morgan said, you are her boss and are paying her to do a job you see fit.

I would definitely address this issue in person or on the phone.  I think a note may be destructive in this situation.