WWYD re: MIL

sooosie

My MIL is constantly buying the kids clothes that are not to my liking and/or not the right sizes.  I have mentioned to her several times that she doesn't need to do this, but she says she does just so they have "play" clothes.  Everything I buy for them is for playing in.  I have even had a direct conversation with her that while I appreciate her effort, I would really rather she not buy them things to wear, because it is something I really enjoy.  She seemed to listen but now has taken to bringing more things over again.

Our place is FULL of stuff that she buys them.  I don't have a problem with any of it, except all this unnecessary clothing. 

WWYD?  MH won't talk to her, saying it's not a big deal (kind of peeves me, but whatever).  I have already talked to her multiple times.  I've now taken to simply not putting them in this stuff, or packing away the things that don't fit.  I seriously have a ton of clothes here.  Any other ideas?

Disneygeek77

She sounds like a gift person.  What can I say, that is how some people show love.  I would just accept the gifts, say thank you, pick and choose the few items I do like and then donate the rest. 

Lisa102304

Can you just return it? Or sell it on eBay/Craigslist. The money you get back from the clothes, just put into their college account, a bank account for the kids or something? That way, you are still "giving" the gift to the kids. 

 

And I would flat out tell MIL that is what I am doing with it - since she is not "getting it" when you tell her this. Not telling her in a nasty way, but rather, "Thank you so much for the gift, but as I have told you in the past, the kids ahve SO MANY clothes already. I know you love doing things for the kids, so I just wanted to let you know that I returned the clothing and put the money into XXX account for them." Yeah, she will probably be annoyed, but maybe that will stop her from doing it?

 

OR .... you could donate it to a shelter and tell her you are doing that.

ans1999

Honestly, I don't think it is that big of a deal. It sounds like a power struggle to me. You want your kids to wear the clothes you buy. I think that is totally fine. Just let them wear the stuff you like and get rid of the stuff you don't. I wouldn't keep talking to her about.

littlemermaid

If you've already told her once and she is still doing it then graciously accept the clothes, use the ones you like and donate the rest.  These are not the battles that need to be won.

Zenya

littlemermaid:

If you've already told her once and she is still doing it then graciously accept the clothes, use the ones you like and donate the rest.  These are not the battles that need to be won.

agree!  I totally know how you feel though.  Drives me nuts.   

hopefulmom

I agree with the other pp.  Just accept it, thank her, pick out what you DO like, and then either donate or sell the rest.  I would not tell her you are doing this.  That is just rude.  I'm sure she is getting them clothes because she loves them and perhaps thinks they have enough toys.  Maybe she never sees the clothes she buys on them and thinks they need some.  Have you ever put something on them that she bought just when you knew she would see them?  I've done this before...not for my mother but for other people who have gotten my DC's things.  That way they "think" we are using what they "gifted" us with.  lol

stacynikki

I don't see the big deal.  Just say thank you and move on.  Get rid of the stuff that you don't like and keep the stuff you do.  Pick your battles.  There are much more important things to be peeved over.

Marce921

Grandparents love to buy their grandkids things. I'd much rather get clothes from my MIL than any more toys! LOL However, my MIL always buys the wrong sizes for DS and then asks why he never wears it. Well, considering it's 2 sizes TOO BIG.... he'll wear it when he gets to that size!

Marce921

Oh, and some of what she buys is ugly as sin, but since they watch DS for us and can't seem to keep his nice clothes clean, I just send him over to their house in them. LOL

ilovemygirls

Totally agree w/pp to just say thanks, keep whatever you want & donate the rest.  My MIL always sends my kids gifts that are not age appropriate (usually for  younger kids) as well as clothes that don't fit, or just are fugly (sadly, usually it's stuff she's made & worked hard on).  She lives across the country so I mostly chalk it up to her just remembering the kids how they were when she last saw them lol.  As for the fugly stuff, if it's something she's made I put it into a bin for the girls to keep since she's quite elderly & I want them to have those things from their gma.  Anything else I just donate. 

JOEBunny

Can you come up with other stuff for her to buy?  My mother was like that until I started her buying classes and camps for DD.  Now, she gets to see pictures of DD at Ballet and summer Yoga and Art camp, and hear about her experiences.  One camp even made a CD set to music with pictures of the camp.  It was great and mom feels like she is giving something that is making real memories for DD.  Also, I get other people to buy Memberships to various child friendly venues, like the zoo.  I can take the person along if they come to visit and again, DD and DS love it, it makes memories and I can share pictures through the year of us using the gift.