baby blues? or PPD?

Wytang

Hi everyone...my first post here.....

I am not sure what is going on with me, its been 3 weeks and what I thought was just a case of the baby blues is still here.  It's not as bad as the first week.

but i still feel like a bad mom most of the time. to make matters worse I think my DS has colic...and he looks at me wailing in pain...I cry with him. It breaks my heart..... seeing him in so much pain and I cant help him.

I also keep thinking how different my life would be if i never had him... I love my son very much and I am happy he is here but sometimes I think about selfish things..like "if he wasnt born I would be at the beach this weekend"  i would think stupid stuff like that.   This all came as a shock because when i was pregnant I was so happy and excited and I couldnt wait until he was out in the world.   but i find myself just staring at him when im alone with him....not feeling that bond many mothers say they have with their babies as soon as they are born.

I still find myself crying in the middle of the night or when I am trying to talk to my friends about it...I end up crying.

I have an appiontmnet with my OB next week... I am not sure if i should bring this up.   SOrry for rambling and being all over the place.....Its hard for me to get the words out....

does this sound like BB? or PPD??  should I tell my doctor?? or should i suck it up....

Gina418

Absolutely bring it up with your doc next week - let her know how you're feeling. The way it was explained to me is that baby blues should get better as the days/weeks go on - that you'll feel better, cry less, etc. PPD/PPA escalates as the days go on - you feel like things are getting worse and worse.

Your doc may suggest seeing a therapist - some talk-therapy may do you some good. 

Talk with your doc - and let us know how it goes!

((hugs))

charmcitygirl

I would definitely bring it up with your doc.  I'm not sure if its PPD, but it does seem like you need some help.  Can your DH take a night shift?  Sleep deprivation does terrible things for a mom's self image.  And don't be hard on yourself.  I still have moments when I think what I could be doing if Jacob wasn't there.  But I went away this weekend without him and missed him like crazy.

Take good care of yourself and you can take good care of your baby!

star173

Definitely bring it up to your doctor. This is not the time to just "suck it up". I'm so sorry you're having a hard time.

Regarding this quote: not feeling that bond many mothers say they have with their babies as soon as they are born.

I wonder how many moms just say that because a lot of people on here and my one super honest friend IRL said she didn't instantly fall in love with her kid. I didn't. I mean, I loved her, but the bond I have with her now is so much stronger than the bond I had with her at first....and it just keeps growing. I'm sure it will be the same way for you with your son.

Also, talk to your DS' pedi about the suspected colic...maybe it's something else?

Best wishes to you!!

winomom22

Becoming a mom is a HUGE adjustment. It was a shock to dh and I. I would bring it up with the OB. The baby blues usually last 2 weeks, beyond that is probably PPD. Also it is very normal not to feel bonded with your baby right away. I felt that way with both. As DD#1 grew, so did my love for her. It's a all consuming love that I can't explain, but I didn't have it right away. Same thing is happening with dd#2. I love her, but I don't have that infatuated, all consuming in love feeling with her yet. You don't really know them yet, so it is hard to feel bonded, but you will as they grow and their little personalities come out. Hang in there. Life will become a new normal soon.