How much money is worth being away from your family all of the time? (clicky)

SweetPeanis

DH travels a lot.  About 6 months out of the year.  He's getting sick of it and thinking about finding a different job so he doesn't have to travel, but we will lose a large chunk of income due to it.  Plus I'm leaving my job in November so we will be losing my income as well.  I'm starting to panic a little.   

I know time with your family is priceless, but is there a point where the money is "worth" it? And is so, how much extra?

(DH has traveled the entire time we have known each other so we have been relying on his extra income since we were married.)

[Poll]

Manalyzer

I'm going the no amount route, but I can empathize with how stressed you guys must be. I know he's never really there and that's got to upset him. I hope he can find a job that pays what he makes now so he can stay in town with ya'll.

leslie13510

I honestly can't answer your poll, because I don't know.  I'm not going to give specifics, but we're far from rich.  Far.  If it were any other job besides the military there's no way DH would put up with being gone as often as he is for the crap money he makes.  His sense of duty to his country and pride in what he does is what keeps him in this career, and as long as he feels like he wants/needs to continue doing this I'll support him.  My answer would be very, VERY different if we were a civilian family I think. 

SweetPeanis

Yeah I'm playing the supportive put together wife card right now and told him that I will support him in whatever he decides to do even if it means we have to really cut back but inside I'm totally freaking out.  Heck I was freaking out alone with just us losing my income! 

nicole&carl

is it worth moving closer to where he works?

Shell24

I'm going to say that we can't tell you the amount that would be ok for your family.

I think not being stressed about money is priceless.  But there is a balance and your DH will have to find that!

Good luck

MeanMommyLady

My husband is career Navy.  He loves his job, he feels a pull to serve his country and I support him.  The money is not the best (truthfully he could make about three times as much in the civilian world doing what he is has been trained to do by the Navy), but there is more in this world than money.  What I can tell you is that my husband loves his job, if he didn't love his job no amount of money would be enough to keep him in the Navy.

macchiatto

I agree that not being stressed about money is priceless ... I do think there's a happy medium. We're a family of four living on one very modest income (and I've been working from home a little in recent months) and it can be done. We're at the income level where we get by, but another $10k/year would make a huge difference (especially in terms of housing options) ... BUT if it meant DH being gone that often, I don't think it would be worth it.

JOEBunny

I think it depends on what you want, your other options, and your long term goals.  If my DH made $50K and it would be another $50K, then it would be worth it if I could stay home IMO.  If DH made $100K and it was $10K, then not really adding much to our life and taking a lot away, but if the only way we could afford health insurance was to have that $10K, then it is worth it. 

It just depends on your situation and what lifestyle choices you are willing to trade off, not on the specific amount.  I would say no based on my DH's current income.  The additional money would not add substantially to our quality of life.

katekirschner

This is hard to answer. I think if you are going to have to worry about making ends meet by you not working AND him making a lot less than that might not be good. If you will be fine without all that still then go for it.

Mrs.Hizzo

I agree that it's not about a dollar amount, it's more about the percentage of what he currently makes. If you're talking a 10% pay cut, that's one thing. 50% is another.

It's also about your husband's mental health. If all this travel is taking a toll on him, it's probably affecting your family in a negative way. But I also agree that having enough money makes things much less stressful in a marriage.

TexasLadyBug

If he is thinking about taking a cut in pay because he will be doing less travel you really need to ask yourself how much money does are family need to get by? What does your monthly output vs input look like? How much do you have in savings for o-sh*t moments? 

If you have adjusted your life style based on your husbands current income cutting back or getting a less paying job may not be an option right now. Can you afford your house with less income etc..... 

baylorflamingo

I can completely relate. Before DS was born, my job required me to travel 3-4 months per year. While I was pregnant, DH transfered within his company to a new city so we could afford for me to stay home. So, for us, it was worth a lot - moving across the country, job changes for both of us, and the loss of my entire income.

 But, fwiw, it has been the best decision for us. 

SeasideBride06

Where we live now, we are close to both of our families.  We're not really close to DH's family...and actually wish we could get away from them.  However, we are really close to my family.  My mom keeps DD every day and leaving them would be very painful for everyone.

With that being said...we have said that the only reason we would leave would be if DH found a job where he made enough money that we could live comfortably and I could be a SAHM.   If it was going to be the same life we live here...then what is the point?

mrskate07

DH used to have a job that required a lot of travel, we both hated it but we thought he couldn't make that amount anywhere else and we really needed the money. He got laid off last year, and after 2 months of being unemployed he found a job that he loves and it surprisingly wasn't much of a decrease. Are you sure he can't find something that won't be such a dramatic change in pay?

For our family, it's all about sacrifice right now. I SAH (kind of work from home, sort of, it's complicated) and money is tight but for these years when DD is so little it's worth it, to us. Once she's in school and has activities all the time, things will be different. But I will never get these teeny tiny years back when she's all mine 24/7.

Good luck with your situation! It's so hard to make these types of decisions, I know.  

 

 

violetvirgo

there are far too many variables to answer this question, but here's my opinion from my perspective.

1)  i don't think there's any amount of money that would make dh or me miss out on our children's lives.  i mean, what's the point, otherwise?

2)  while we make a very good living, to us a job is a job.  we work so we can live the way we want, but if we're miserable and not enjoying our lives and our children then job is not worth it and subsequently the money is not worth it.  

3)  i agree with MrsHizzo about percentage v dollar amount.  i mean can you feasibly lose 10%, 20%, 50% of your gross income?  

4)  for me personally (and i'm 90% sure with DH) we would rather live off the grid - growing and raising our own food, with no car and no electricity than spend 6 months a year away from each other.  nothing is worth missing out on HALF of my child's life.