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*dimake*
You mentioned in an earlier post that you designed your visitation arrangement. How did that work? Did your X agree to it without wanting more time? If he did contest it, how did you make it happen? I'm just embarking on this and have tons of anxiety about it. TIA.
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Re: *dimake*
He has a difficult work schedule to work around - and he would like more time, I think, but I was very insistent that this be a minimal of a disruption to our daughters as possible. I want them to have ONE home, not two, and I want them to not have to stress about going back and forth. I'm also very agreeable to being flexible here and there - for example, instead of picking up the girls right after I get after work tomorrow he's going to keep them late (OK, I needed to go out for nachos and maybe a margarita with my girlfriends
)
When I wrote up the schedule, before sending it to the lawyer, when he was disputing a few points, I also sent him this:
I think it bears repeating that you had every chance in the world to choose your family, and not put everyone in a situation where we're arguing over a couple of hours here and a couple of hours there, and who gets what holiday. You are the one who chose to screw around, and even two days after saying that your family was the most important thing and you wanted to be here with us, you decided that it was more important for you to "be happy". It's starting to sound like you have a little bird whispering in your ear that you deserve this, or don't deserve that - I would recommend that you keep her out of it, because she doesn't give a rat's ass about your kids. Whereas they are my #1 priority, before myself or what I want or need, enough so that I actually was willing to take back a cheating husband who was gaslighting me when I was pregnant.
Fighting fair? Maybe not. True? 100%!