Not being able to self soothe?

SaucySarie

My DD, Ayva, cannot soothe herself??!?!  She "thinks" her finger in her mouth will soothe her, but then she goes and bites it, HARD, and I have to go pry it out of her mouth sometimes.  Our OT kind of sucks and hasn't gave me any ways to keep her from biting herself.  But that's just the tip of the iceberg... I have to hold her to get her to sleep...I am the only one (most of the time) that can calm her down.

Any suggestions on how to get your LO, who has a lot of things going on, and shares a room w/ her sister, to get herself to learn some way to self soothe. (I kind of need and idea to work day and night).  And I've tried just letting her cry. 

Cutemin

I know this is going to sounds awful to a lot of people, but the only thing that we found to help DS slow down enough to go to sleep on his own is the TV.  He has a DVD player and watches shows about numbers, letters or trains (all his interests).  And have you looked into a weighted blanket?

SaucySarie

While a TV may sound good in theory, Ayva is more like a 4 month old baby than an almost 3 y/o . She also has a vision problem so trying to get her to watch something probably wouldn't work what would a weighted blanket do? (just curious, cause I honestly don't know)

NJLH

I hear ya. One of my girls is like this (she has gross motor delays...not sure if thats related). She gave up a pacifier at 3 months and has always been impossible to soothe. I've had nights, even recently, where I had to carry her around or even take her for a walk, throughout the night. She used to scream throughout her PT sessions and there as nothing I could do. Unfortunately, I also use the tv sometimes (she loves tv). I wish I had another way.

breezy0629

Poor thing (and you too).  Since developmentally she is similar to a 4 mo old, can you get her a swing? I am not sure of weight restrictions on baby swings, so if she's too large for something like that... we looked into a hammock swing for inside the house in desperation for sleeping at one time. That is not something you can leave unattended, but maybe better than nothing.  Or have you tried swaddling? I dont know if she needs her arms out for safety reasons at her age/development, but does she still have any of the startle reflex? Keeping her arms down could curb the startle and also the biting if it's safe.

My son would only be soothed by a swaddle when he was a baby and then when he got older and had a hard time settling in for sleep (not able to self soothe for different reasons, but maybe more similar than I think) we used a heavy blanket. https://www.weightedblanket.net/faq.htm (look for How/Why they work, she has a decent description)

I don't have this book in hand to make sure I am quoting the right book, but in Carol Kranowitz's 'The Out of Sync Child has Fun', she describes different sensory systems our bodies have and how they progress developmentally. Most of the actual suggestions in the book are probably inappropriate, but the descriptions of the systems (I'm thinking about the startle reflex and inability to self-soothe) might help you to figure out how her sensory system is progressing on her developmental curve and maybe help to answer what the reason is that she cannot self-soothe yet. Just the first page of each chapter would be important to read, so it would be a pretty easy read if you can find it at a local library.

This is something I really wish your OT would help with. However, sometimes knowing the right questions to ask can really help.

I know this has to be so taxing on you. Don't feel bad about thinking way outside the box if you have to. I pray you find a solution for her and for you too! Oh, and sis too!

breezy0629

Thinking back to baby days with my two.... I also remember a time when DD would go to sleep and then wake up over and over. I finally realized simple sounds alerted her and turned on radio static in her room so she would have a steady stream of noise that didn't change volume/pitch/etc... It helped immediately. I don't know if she has trouble once she is already asleep, but that's another suggestion.