Is anybody else feeling this way?

soldierswife656

I am so depressed and on edge and so many feelings all at once. Today I snapped at my mom, my aunt, my husband, and even my 4 year old cousin. All within a few hours time. I felt extremely horrible afterwards. I'm about to lock myself in my house and not go anywhere for the rest of the week. My mom and my husband have been rock strong for me throughout all of this and they didn't deserve to be the blunt of my anger. My aunt however, is a b*tch and refused to look at my daughters picture because, and I quote, "That's disgusting. I don't know how you can carry around a dead babies picture." SERIOUSLY????? You are seriously going to talk about my precious baby girl like that? I could've punched her in her throat. Not even kidding. As for my little cousin, she stepped on my toe. Literally stepped on my toe. Of course I felt horrible for that one as well. Ahhh, I'm just ready to be happy again. But I feel like if I'm happy, I'm being ignorant towards our daughter. I just don't know anymore.

soldierswife656

I'd also like to mention that my baby girl was born at 19 weeks and completely formed. She was just tiny and red because she had passed away through the night after my water broke. I delivered her at 9:44 AM..

myst33

I am so sorry you're going through this and I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can not believe that your aunt said that.  That is the worst thing I've heard all day.  I'd be beyond upset if someone said that to me, esp. a family member.  I know your baby was beautiful and precious and what your Aunt said is unforgiveable imo. 

hislady922

I'm so sorry your Aunt's reaction was so horrible! She should have kept her mouth shut. I think that was totally uncalled for!  Don't feel bad for being depressed and on edge, and don't feel bad for being happy.  Feel however you need to feel to remember your baby girl and to move forward at your own pace!!  What you have gone through/are going through is life changing!  There is no right or wrong way to feel.  I'm so sorry!

shouldbworkin

(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry.  As if a loss isn't enough, it totally sucks to have to go through the hormones and mood swings of PP and deal with insensitive people too.  I can't tell you how many times the term "adding insult to injury" has popped into my head post m/c.  =(

pandapepperoni

OMG that is terrible, I can't believe your aunt (or anyone) could say that. You baby is beautiful and you have every right to show her off!

mbs427

I'm so sorry  ::hugs::  How horrible of your aunt 

normajeane6126

((HUGS))

I know how you feel. I've been lashing out at just about everyone lately. I lost my job the day it was confirmed that we lost Turtle and I snapped so bad at my former boss that if she hadn't already fired me, she would have.

I'm constantly at it with my mom, my sister refuses to talk to me, and my poor SO never knows what to expect.  

shanna82

soldierswife656:

I'd also like to mention that my baby girl was born at 19 weeks and completely formed. She was just tiny and red because she had passed away through the night after my water broke. I delivered her at 9:44 AM..

That doesn't even matter!  Your baby is beautiful and your Aunt was completely out of line.  I really hope you told her so!  I'm so sorry someone you love said something like that to you!  *hugs*

pennynjon

Don't feel bad about the way you feel.  And if you didn't punch your aunt in the throat for saying that, you did much better than I would have.  You are a mommy, and there is NOTHING wrong with having pictures of your baby.  I am still having days when I am emotional and cry all day long, but I am having hours when I feel better too.  I know exactly what you mean.  I feel guilty about having moments when I do feel okay. 

bleja

I'm so sorry that she actually said that. How completely insensitve. Anyone would carry a picture of thier child. PERIOD.

It's hard not to feel bad about all the mix of emotions. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm more upset with everything that has gone on or the unpredictible way I react to it. It does get better, little by little - I promise.

*HUGS*

soldierswife656

Thank you all so very much for your kind words. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that's been in a horrible mood for the past 2 weeks. I bite my husbands head off for the smallest things. Luckily, he loves me enough to look past it. He doesn't snap back, which is a very good thing because that just makes things worse with me. The tears start flowing! And as for my aunt, I have decided that she can stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I will not speak to her until she apologizes and then, it's going to be extremely hard. I'm never going to forget her harsh words-EVER. Thank you all again! I really appreciate it. Without all of you, this would be so much harder!!

jerriesgirl

Your aunt deserves a beat down, or at least a throat punch. Anyway, don't feel bad. It's just your hormones. It is to be expected. I love your daughter's name.

soldierswife656

Thank you very much!! We had only picked boys names out because I was determined (and so was my husband) that we were having a boy. But, when the DR said the baby was a girl, we had to think of a name and I've always loved Jasmine Alexis. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl.

And as for my aunt, apparently my mom ripped her a new a**hole after I left. My momma always takes care of my battles lol.

Lorange-8

My daughter was born was 19 weeks as well and I think she is the most beautiful thing ever. And I am 100% sure your daughter is beautiful as well. She had no right to make that comment and I'm glad your mom said something to her!!! You can share her with us anytime!!!

millejj1

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, it's hard but it does get better. We're here to support you whenever you need us, and we'd all love to see pictures of your beautiful little girl.

 As for your aunt, send her to us, we'll take care of her! Good for your mom for saying something!

soldierswife656

I would LOVE to share her picture with everyone...is that ok? She is red/purple in her picture because she had passed away through the night before I delivered her. But, I'd love to share her picture. Just let me know if it would be ok with everyone )

pennynjon

Yes, we would love to see her! There was actually a post a week or 2 ago, and a lot of us shared pics of our angels.  A lot of those babies were really early like your baby, and ALL of them were beautiful!  I am so proud to be Ella's mom, and I love to show her off.

soldierswife656

I posted Jasmines picture )