Does anyone know the ettiquette rule on this?

NewFamily09

In my opinion, it's kind of weird to have a shower if it's not your first baby, especially if you are having the same sex as the first time.  The only exception is if the babies are spaced way far apart, like the stuff from the first one becomes obsolete and unsafe (such as baby #1 is now a teenager).  But I've known 2 people recently who have had showers and it's not their first kid.  Is it just me or is this weird?  I mean, just because you don't have a shower doesn't mean people won't get your baby gifts, so you will have some things, but it's just weird.  I'm pregnant with number #2 and if anyone wanted to host me one I am pretty sure I ask that they not.  Am I wrong about this? 

puterbaby

No, you're correct.  Around here a 2nd shower is frowned upon.  Unless, of course, the babies are spaced far apart.  My best friend had a girl and a boy five years apart and moved in between.  I totally didn't have a problem with her two showers.  Plus, I think people just get excited about babies.  If I'm offered a 2nd shower (when the time comes) I will decline and maybe suggest a gathering after baby is born without gifts.

EastCoastBride

A true full blown shower?  Yes,  I feel they are for 1st babies only. 

There are PLENTY of other ways to 'celebrate' a baby w/o making it a gift giving event- which is exactly what a shower is.

I actually just got an invitation in the mail for a "celebration" for a friend who is having her 2nd boy.  Her MIL wants to throw this.  It's NOT a shower, "shower" isn't listed on the invite, and no registry info is included.

I know people will show up w/ gifts- probably a cute outfit, or what have you.  But it's also o.k. if people don't show up with one- that is not the point of thisevent.   This is, in my mind, more like a "sprinkle".  A simple event of her closest friends to celebrate her baby.

arpetree1

Plus from the looks of your ticker your kiddos will be really close together. I would politely decline.

chris5olson

a full blown shower would be just for the first baby unless there is a ver large age gap between the two children.

but alot of ladies have a "sprinkle" or just a get together. there are ways to word the invitation so that the guests would know that you just want to get together and celebrate. 

NewFamily09

arpetree1:

Plus from the looks of your ticker your kiddos will be really close together. I would politely decline.

Very true.  Even if we don't have another boy, aside from clothing, we have everything we need.  I plan on going to the huge consignment sales we have in our city to get a lot of the clothes, if it's a girl.

HBaylies

My thought is that since someone else throws the shower, not you, it's fine.  It may be unnecessary to have the shower, but if someone wants to have a party for you, hey, it's a party! Go for it!

tracy41

I agree it's weird when #1 and #2 are close together.  My SIL just did this and her kids are a couple years apart.  She had a full blown 2nd shower (thrown by her mom) and registered for all the usual 1st time mom baby stuff.  Her reason was that she had loaned all her stuff to her sister and she didn't want it back used.  Nice!

our1stbabynov

I am TOTALLY against the 2nd baby baby shower!!! It is your responsibility as a parent to register for neutral things for when you have more kids you can use them again. if you did not do this, you are then responsible for buying the new items yourself! People will buy you new baby clothes when you have the baby or when you find out the sex of the baby. The ONLY way this is OK is when there is a very large spread between kids. Like the 1st one is a teenager, more than likely everything was already given away or put in a garage sale. That is the only way it might be ok!

trarenee13

I've been to many showers for 2nd, 3rd baby that was close to the same age.  None of the mommies to be registered for anything, but the hostess told anyone who asked that they were welcome to bring cute clothes.  I've also been to diaper and wipey showers.  Both were big hits.  I'm having a shower and this is my 2nd, but my DS is 14.  I have nothing from when he was little.  Good luck

ctana

our1stbabynov:

I am TOTALLY against the 2nd baby baby shower!!! It is your responsibility as a parent to register for neutral things for when you have more kids you can use them again. if you did not do this, you are then responsible for buying the new items yourself! People will buy you new baby clothes when you have the baby or when you find out the sex of the baby. The ONLY way this is OK is when there is a very large spread between kids. Like the 1st one is a teenager, more than likely everything was already given away or put in a garage sale. That is the only way it might be ok!

This.

I am really starting to think it's more a class thing than anything else.

I just don't see the need to have or agree to party that basically asks for gifts, which a shower or a sprinkle does. The people who want to give you a gift for a baby - be it your second, or third or whatever - will do so without a party specifically for it.  Everyone I know who has a second or third child does not expect a party nor participates in a such a party. They are prepared to financially provide for their child.  Whoever is just dying to buy a gift to 'celebrate' the new life still does so and it is much appreciated, just never asked for or implied through a specific party. 

 

LisaJ_MOH

I am against a shower for the second child (not matter what it is called) with only two exceptions:

1.  the space is 10+ years

2. th second child is the product of a second marriage (and in that case the people throwing/attending the shower are the new family who did not participate in a shower for the first previous child)

Otherwise it is tacky.

AimnJus917

LisaJ_MOH:

I am against a shower for the second child (not matter what it is called) with only two exceptions:

1.  the space is 10+ years

2. th second child is the product of a second marriage (and in that case the people throwing/attending the shower are the new family who did not participate in a shower for the first previous child)

Otherwise it is tacky.

This! I also agree with pp that said it's the parents-to-be responsibility for registering for neutral things that can be used again for another child regardless of sex.  Having another shower because the 2nd child is a different sex than the first is greedy and appalling. Until I started reading this board, I had never even heard of a second shower but can agree with the exceptions listed above.