XP: VENT!! beware its kinda long — The Bump
Military Families

XP: VENT!! beware its kinda long

i posted this over in 2nd tri.. but thought i might get better feedback over here..i keep forgetting about this board.

So.. a little background before i vent away. We are Military, and i've always been ok with toy guns, because, well how can i tell my son its wrong to play with guns, when thats what daddy does. we always stress that you dont point them at people (with the exception of playing with friends) and you dont point them at my tv if they are the nurf ones lol. and that when daddy has guns its only bad people we get. some people might not agree with that..but being a military spouse changed my views on alot of things sooooo

DS had a dentist appt yesterday, and in the waiting room he was playing a video game, some shooting one.he was playing quietly when this other boy came in. the kid was a good few years older than my son, id say at least 7+ and asked if he could play with DS. so they were playing nice together when all of a sudden other kid starts yelling "Kill Kill Kill...Die Die Die" to the "bad guys" on the screen. of course my son copies him and starts yelling it while laughing. i was shocked. thats not the kind of attitude i want my son to have. The father of the other boy seemed to have no problem with it, didnt say anything to the kid at all and just let it go. I however said "DS please dont say that." My DH was like "let it go" but i couldnt. both kids continued to say it, and not only that but everyone was looking at them like it was cute..WTF. even the receptionist was laughing at them. i get it, we live on a military base.. everyone is military or military related, and rooting for the good guy.. but realy? this young? how do you laugh at that.
I didnt make a scene. i asked DS again to stop, (which of course he didnt because an older cooler kid was there and saying it too) thankfully we got called in the office shortly after. but i didnt like the whole experience. We go to playgroups 4 times a week and thats not the kind of thing i want my kid teaching all the other kids..
am i over reacting? is this normal? should people have been laughing at this? should I have laughed it off??? ARGGGG

Re: XP: VENT!! beware its kinda long

  • You are not overreacting, and I would have had some strong words for DH if he had told me to let it go. 

    FWIW, we plan on letting our kids play with toy guns when they're older.  I mean we both grew up hunting and shooting targets, and DH's job requires him to use weapons.  But for us the rules will be no pointing the toy guns at people EVER (because we plan to teach them to shoot targets as well and want to instill from the very beginning that you don't point guns at people), we'll teach basic gun safety even with the toys, and if I ever hear anything like "Kill kill die die" coming out of their mouths all their toy guns and video games will be put away until they can prove to me that they understand why that is disrespectful and completely inappropriate. 

  • How old is your son?
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  • He's 4. its the first time he's ever said anything like that. i realize he was repeating the older kid.. but i dont think ANY kid should say that.
  • That kid shouldn't have said that, and your DS should have listned to too, however I am so glad your teaching gun etiquette.  It's important that kids know how to treat a weapon, whether they are around them or not.  I work at a day care and kids will make a weapon out of ANYTHING. One little boy chewed  a gun out of his french toast and started to "shoot" his friends. Unfortunately, you can't control other peoples kids but you can teach your own right and wrong.  I wouldn't have wanted to make a scene but I would have talked to DS after the appointment and DH (for support) when DS wasn't around. 
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  • image stephanieroyer:

    am i over reacting? is this normal? should people have been laughing at this? should I have laughed it off??? ARGGGG

    No. No. No. and no.

    I'd be pissed. It's completely inappropriate for a 4 or 7 year old to be saying things like that. I'm not sure if you can allow your child to play with toy guns and shooting games and not expect that he's going to learn to "kill". Isn't the point of shooting games to kill the bad guys? How would you explain to him that it's ok to play those games and kill the bad guys, but he can't yell "kill" or "die"? "Sweetie, you can play with guns and shooting games, but please kill the bad guys quietly and nicely"? 

    Also, you can't tell your son it's wrong to play with guns because that's what daddy does? Daddy doesn't play with them. He uses them for his job and has been taught that they are *not* toys. 

    I'm obviously anti-toy gun. That said, I have no problem with familiarization and education on real weapons at an appropriate age. 

  • With all due respect, what did you expect? Your 4 year old is playing a game in which he shoots something/someone, presumably to "kill" them. An older kid comes along and sees what he is doing and says "kill" and "die" which is what they were doing. It most certainly is not appropriate, and that is when you should have taken the game away, IMO. 
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  • image *Krista*:

    image stephanieroyer:

    am i over reacting? is this normal? should people have been laughing at this? should I have laughed it off??? ARGGGG

    No. No. No. and no.

    I'd be pissed. It's completely inappropriate for a 4 or 7 year old to be saying things like that. I'm not sure if you can allow your child to play with toy guns and shooting games and not expect that he's going to learn to "kill". Isn't the point of shooting games to kill the bad guys? How would you explain to him that it's ok to play those games and kill the bad guys, but he can't yell "kill" or "die"? "Sweetie, you can play with guns and shooting games, but please kill the bad guys quietly and nicely"? 

    Also, you can't tell your son it's wrong to play with guns because that's what daddy does? Daddy doesn't play with them. He uses them for his job and has been taught that they are *not* toys. 

    I'm obviously anti-toy gun. That said, I have no problem with familiarization and education on real weapons at an appropriate age. 

    agreed!
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