Have you tried talking to him while doing something else? Like while driving? or playing a game? sometime side by side conversations work better for emotionally inhibated people because it's not as open and vunerable.
My DD has a hard time opening up about real emotions. I call her "hard ice cream" because it takes a lot of effort to scoop all the info out of her. I have the best conversations when we are in the car.
I don't know much about Spock so can't help you there. When you asked about badges I thought maybe you meant for a trekkie convention for something lol. OK i get it now. Sorry I seem to be a bit slow today.
If you just click on someones badge or ticker it will lead you to the source, just copy the URL and paste it. Hopefully someone will give you better instructions as you can see I have none lol.
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Cool! So, Spock and BM parallel parent, so there's virtually no info from her at all. On the rare occasion they do communicate, he sometimes forgets to tell me the details. It's very, very frustrating, to say the least. I can also tell he gets irritated when BM does communicate some nonsense, and I point it out. With all these kids around, it's been really, really hard to find some time to do something that might generate a conversation. Sigh.
While I have never seen an episode of Star Trek, I think she is trying to say that her SO is not a chatty Cathy.
To OP, my DH is quite chatty but forgetful with details. I find it's best to have follow-up questions at a later date, in case there is any info that he might have not shared/originally forgotten.
And you could always try just asking open ended questions...
I am assuming he is the star trek character and possibly unable to show emotion ( I got that from sweeties reply).
OP your situation sounds very stressful, can you pack all the kids away to their other bio's and plan a fun (dirty) weekend with your DH. I bet he would react to that lol.
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That would be great...to have a dirty weekend! Yes, by "Spock" I mean unable to show emotion. Or talk, apparently. Unfortunately, one bio parent is out of the picture.
Effective ways to communicate and keep track of details, that's what we need! I asked him this morning "Honey, are we having the kids all day Monday?" He said "What? Why would we do that?" I said "Ummm, because it's a....holiday?" And, this guy (Spock) is a genius, literally.
Because you are new, I looked over your previous posts to get a feel for your situation and now I am all kinds of confused.
In Feb you posted that your DH has an 6 month old infant that was coming over to spend the night and that he has never cared for an infant before, but you said he has three kids. Also, I am trying to figure out the timing if you guys were already married when his child was6 months old. Either you guys rushed through courtship and went straight to marriage or he was still with his ex wife when y'all met.
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An obnoxiously large and prominate calendar that you and he puts all details on. With 6 kids between you both (and i've noticed your ticker at least 1 is 17 yrs old) I'm thinking you both need a home based organization center for schedules. The older kids can fill out thier own schedules as necessary and then the younger ones you and H fill in.
You will need a fmaily meeting to discuss the new system and active participation is manditory.
Because you are new, I looked over your previous posts to get a feel for your situation and now I am all kinds of confused.
In Feb you posted that your DH has an 6 month old infant that was coming over to spend the night and that he has never cared for an infant before, but you said he has three kids. Also, I am trying to figure out the timing if you guys were already married when his child was6 months old. Either you guys rushed through courtship and went straight to marriage or he was still with his ex wife when y'all met.
Awesome pick up Shells!
OP we need some details so we can help. Maybe post an intro and some backstory. Some of the problems seem to be mroe relationship based than blended family based.
We can still help but it puts our thinkin' caps on a little better if we know a bigger picture.
Okay, sorry, I don't have time to write the whole story right now. But, he has two adopted children with his ex, and they were over 1 year old when they were adopted. So, he hasn't had experience with an infant. When she sensed the marriage was ending, she got prego, and he left shortly after that. The infant still hasn't come over yet, BM is stalling on that. So, he has three kids, and I have three kids. I'm trying to fix the little birthday tickers on the bottom, but ran out of time for today.
Both of our previous marriages were horrifying. His ex won't talk to him at all. I won't talk to mine for safety reasons. We have known each other for a long time, went to HS together, in fact. Have been in love for a long time, timing just was never right in the past..in fact never would be. We took a leap and here we are, and we are very very happy! I'm just not used to someone who doesn't talk much!
I know it's late but I spent all afternoon packing for our camping trip this weekend. I tell my DH he's a robot, he doesn't show emotion and doesn't talk about anything. He avoids conflict and says crying and getting angry are "counterproductive". But he's not a genius, he was just raised by wolves pretty much.
When we have "discussions" where I just talk at him and he says nothing. I have to keep saying "tell me what you're thinking" or "give me your feedback on this". I have to ask him to talk it out. As far as emotional stuff, when he says I'm being counterproductive I pick up his arms, put them around me and say "stop being a d-bag and be nice" and he usually remembers to be a person for a minute. We joke a lot so I don't mean it in a mean way...that's just what works for us.
I know it's late but I spent all afternoon packing for our camping trip this weekend. I tell my DH he's a robot, he doesn't show emotion and doesn't talk about anything. He avoids conflict and says crying and getting angry are "counterproductive". But he's not a genius, he was just raised by wolves pretty much.
When we have "discussions" where I just talk at him and he says nothing. I have to keep saying "tell me what you're thinking" or "give me your feedback on this". I have to ask him to talk it out. As far as emotional stuff, when he says I'm being counterproductive I pick up his arms, put them around me and say "stop being a d-bag and be nice" and he usually remembers to be a person for a minute. We joke a lot so I don't mean it in a mean way...that's just what works for us.
LOL Curly...so you're counterproductive from time to time, huh!?....that's just priceless
Re: Anyone else married to Spock?
You are totes in the right place.
Have you tried talking to him while doing something else? Like while driving? or playing a game? sometime side by side conversations work better for emotionally inhibated people because it's not as open and vunerable.
My DD has a hard time opening up about real emotions. I call her "hard ice cream" because it takes a lot of effort to scoop all the info out of her. I have the best conversations when we are in the car.
While I have never seen an episode of Star Trek, I think she is trying to say that her SO is not a chatty Cathy.
To OP, my DH is quite chatty but forgetful with details. I find it's best to have follow-up questions at a later date, in case there is any info that he might have not shared/originally forgotten.
And you could always try just asking open ended questions...
I am assuming he is the star trek character and possibly unable to show emotion ( I got that from sweeties reply).
OP your situation sounds very stressful, can you pack all the kids away to their other bio's and plan a fun (dirty) weekend with your DH. I bet he would react to that lol.
That would be great...to have a dirty weekend! Yes, by "Spock" I mean unable to show emotion. Or talk, apparently. Unfortunately, one bio parent is out of the picture.
Effective ways to communicate and keep track of details, that's what we need! I asked him this morning "Honey, are we having the kids all day Monday?" He said "What? Why would we do that?" I said "Ummm, because it's a....holiday?" And, this guy (Spock) is a genius, literally.
Because you are new, I looked over your previous posts to get a feel for your situation and now I am all kinds of confused.
In Feb you posted that your DH has an 6 month old infant that was coming over to spend the night and that he has never cared for an infant before, but you said he has three kids. Also, I am trying to figure out the timing if you guys were already married when his child was6 months old. Either you guys rushed through courtship and went straight to marriage or he was still with his ex wife when y'all met.
An obnoxiously large and prominate calendar that you and he puts all details on. With 6 kids between you both (and i've noticed your ticker at least 1 is 17 yrs old) I'm thinking you both need a home based organization center for schedules. The older kids can fill out thier own schedules as necessary and then the younger ones you and H fill in.
You will need a fmaily meeting to discuss the new system and active participation is manditory.
Awesome pick up Shells!
OP we need some details so we can help. Maybe post an intro and some backstory. Some of the problems seem to be mroe relationship based than blended family based.
We can still help but it puts our thinkin' caps on a little better if we know a bigger picture.
Okay, sorry, I don't have time to write the whole story right now. But, he has two adopted children with his ex, and they were over 1 year old when they were adopted. So, he hasn't had experience with an infant. When she sensed the marriage was ending, she got prego, and he left shortly after that. The infant still hasn't come over yet, BM is stalling on that. So, he has three kids, and I have three kids. I'm trying to fix the little birthday tickers on the bottom, but ran out of time for today.
Both of our previous marriages were horrifying. His ex won't talk to him at all. I won't talk to mine for safety reasons. We have known each other for a long time, went to HS together, in fact. Have been in love for a long time, timing just was never right in the past..in fact never would be. We took a leap and here we are, and we are very very happy! I'm just not used to someone who doesn't talk much!
I know it's late but I spent all afternoon packing for our camping trip this weekend. I tell my DH he's a robot, he doesn't show emotion and doesn't talk about anything. He avoids conflict and says crying and getting angry are "counterproductive". But he's not a genius, he was just raised by wolves pretty much.
When we have "discussions" where I just talk at him and he says nothing. I have to keep saying "tell me what you're thinking" or "give me your feedback on this". I have to ask him to talk it out. As far as emotional stuff, when he says I'm being counterproductive I pick up his arms, put them around me and say "stop being a d-bag and be nice" and he usually remembers to be a person for a minute. We joke a lot so I don't mean it in a mean way...that's just what works for us.
LOL Curly...so you're counterproductive from time to time, huh!?....that's just priceless