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Pre-School and Daycare
howleyshell
member
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Talk to me about.....
howleyshell
member
Other Mom's at school.
I've been a SAHM and we've never done a daycare center.
We've done soccer, parks, library story time, swim lessons, etc so it's not like I've never had interaction with the moms of other kids but still.....
After a recent poll on my main board (SAIF) I'm realizing that I'm going to be one of the oldest Mom's of my son's pre-school class this up coming fall.
I was hoping to make some new friends of my own and maybe arrange some new play dates with this new community but now I'm wondering if they're going to look at me, see how old I am and ignore me like an aging plague. I don't usually think about my age much because I don't FEEL as old as I am (39) but I'm wondering how other Moms will see me?
Are the other Mom's friendly with you?
Do you feel like Moms segregate by age?
Have you made any new friends that are Moms of the kids your LO goes to school with?
Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Talk to me about.....
Goblin Gallup 5k 10/30/11 - 36:46
Turkey Trot 5k 11/24/11 - 35:14
Festival of Lights 5k 12/31/11 - 33:13
Love the Run You're With 5k 2/13/12 - 31:58
Backyard Burn 5 miler 3/11/12 - 1:08:42
Cherry Blossom 10 Miler 4/1/12 - 1:58:22
Wine Country HF 6/2/12 - TBD
Spartan Race 8/25/12 - TBD
Ooh -- a topic near and dear to my heart, as a 41 year old mom of a preschooler.
I think that personality is more of a determining factor than age. Between my 2 kids, I've been a preschool mom for 5 years. There are always a few moms that I get to know better, with whom I'm more friendly, but until last school year, no one I've kept in touch with as friends in our own right, once the children weren't in the same class. Last year, the other moms were wonderful and I've kept in touch with many of them -- in fact a bunch of us are having lunch tomorrow while the kiddos are at school. Sadly, all their kids went on to K this year, and my DS stayed for another year of preschool. But next year we'll all be moms in the same elementary school at least.
Shoot -- my bell for 5th period. I'll write more later if I can about how I've found it best to get to know other moms.
Please do!
I really appreciate having you and all your wonderful advice on this board!!
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
SO....I work FT, so I actually feel "left out" most of the time.
Most of the parents at DS's nursery school either SAH or work PT.
I have gone to a couple "programs" and I often feel left out. Not because they make me feel this way but because I often don't get to go to all the programs/activities. I am always sending my mom, my dad, etc.
However.....I think you can just tell from the beginning (just intuition, I guess).
I think you definitely have to make a point to get to know them or make it known that you want to chat, etc.
Some of the mom's in C's class workout together and have coffee together.
A couple of us will be in a playgroup together this summer!
I guess what I'm saying is that I don't think age has anything to do with it. I think it all depends on how your personalities mesh.
There are a couple boys that C really likes......but I am not fond of the mothers (they seem very materialistic/snooty). I converse with them and see them at b-day parties, but I don't really make playdates with them.
I think you will be able to tell who will be your "friend," and I think you will be fine
I was talking to another mom the other day (who is a friend of mine since childhood...) and we were saying that we kind of feel like we are in high school again trying to find the right friends and crowds
ha ha
At our preschool, pretty much everyone is around the age of 35 (I'm 36). There are younger moms too, and older moms (a friend of mine is mid-40's).
Moms don't segregate by age at our school.
Yes, I've made new friends with other moms from the preschool. Some really great ladies that I get along with as well......
Are the other Mom's friendly with you? We all don't really say anything to each other. My son has a buddy and I chit chat occasionally with his mom and dad.
You can tell that some of the mom's are friends because they are on the PTO together.
Do you feel like Moms segregate by age? No, they are all various ages. They look from 24-40 easily.
Have you made any new friends that are Moms of the kids your LO goes to school with?
Sort of, he has a buddy that he loves and today after school they are going to go and hang out at McDonalds and play while we eat I guess. We are moving soon and the boys have been wanting to hang out together for a long long time so we are doing this. Aside from this, we aren't really friends that would ever chat on the phone or anything. Just "hi" when we see each other.
Aw -- thanks! The feeling is mutual!
Anyway, my 6th period kid has a group project and can't be tutored right now, so I have a little free time.
There are a few different places where I've gotten to know the other moms well:
--pickup and dropoff -- if you come early, you get a chance to stand around with other moms who show up a few minutes early and shoot the breeze.
--do an informal "anyone's welcome" trip to the park after school -- when my son was in the 3s class, a few moms used to do this. They'd slip a note in everyone's bookbag on Tuesday afternoon that on Friday after school a few of the moms would be taking kids to a local park for play and a picnic. By going to some of these things, I got to know some of the moms a bit better.
--playdates and birthday parties -- I have gotten to be better friends with some moms by arranging playdates for our kids or from standing chatting with them during birthday parties. You get a feel for who you have more in common with. Sometimes my kids are friends with kids who have parents I don't "click" with. DD's best friend is one such case. The mom is nice, but I'd never go out of my way to have more contact with her than I do now. On the other hand, my kids are friends with a set of 2 brothers, and I have actually been offered and accepted a beer at their home!! I really like both the wife and the husband, and we get together from time to time. It's very cool because my kids each have a buddy to play with and the grownups are entertained as well. But, this is the ONLY situation like this that I've cultivated in nearly 10 years of parenting!
It's tough!
Quickly, I have no idea how old the other moms and dads are at daycare. I know that a lot of the teachers are younger than I am, but the parents, I have no clue! I tend to talk with the parents of the kids that my kids seem to favor. Before my kids have preferences, I just make general small talk and then one my kids seem to like to play with certain kids, I talk with their parents.
FWIW, my DH is 40 and does the majority of drop-off and pick-up at daycare. And he's had no issues getting to know parents based on his age. Of course, socially he can make conversation with anyone. That's just the way his personality is.
At our daycare the other mom's are relatively friendly. I don't know that any of the moms really do anything together or really interact much at pick up/ drop off there's usually too much going on.
What's funny is that I'm a pretty young mom (27) and I feel like most of the moms I meet are on the older side (mid to late 30's probably). Oftentimes they don't really seem to want to have much to do with me. I will be out with my mom who is really young (46) and they will usually get all excited to meet another older mom (one lady actually even said, oh look another older mom!) and start talking to my mom about my kids and then you can just see their disappointment when my mom tells them that I'm her baby and the kids are mine. So basically I think it goes both ways. I don't really care what age my friends are. That said most of my mom friends are a few years older than me or around my age, but that is just the people I've run into or whatever. I feel more awkward around people a bit older, but I'm socially awkward anyway.
ditto this. DH drops him off and i pick up and normally i am the first mom to get there (about 4:50) so i don't see a lot of mom's but when i do i make small talk. i am inviting his whole class to his party so hopefully i will get to know some more mom's then!