Be honest: does he look like a girl? (PIP)

CleoKitty

Lately we cannot go anywhere without someone referring to ds as a "she." He usually gets pretty indignant and protests, "I'm NOT a girl!" He's also always dressed in clothing that is pretty darn boyish- usually some sort of Star Wars t-shirt, LOL (gasp! character clothing!)

He wants his hair long and I think it's cute on him, but he is admittedly a bit overdue for a trim (he's getting one tonight.) Even so our stylist doesn't really take much of the length, she just adds some texture and shapes it up a bit. 

It's really beginning to bug ds but he's still pretty adamant that he does not want short hair. Be honest (my feelings really won't be hurt at all): is he starting to look a little girly to you?

 

 

Rebekah1021

Well, since I know he's a boy I think he looks likes a boy. I can see how someone who doesn't know him would think that though.

Jodi&Joe

I know he's a boy so it's hard to answer.

I will say, that is a "girls haircut" so that is probably why he is getting those responses.  I do think OLDER boys wear their hair like that but you don't see many 5 year olds walking around with an "alternative" hair style such as that one (not around here anyway).  And yes, I would consider that "alternative" (for his age).

mamarazzi

The thing is, he's "pretty."  He has such fine features.  I don't think I'd mistake him for a girl, but I can see why people would.  Some people can't understand that long hair doesn't automatically = female.

Mrs Manners

Yes. But it's just because he's really, really beautiful. I like long hair on a boy as long as it's neat and clean (which his is). I swear, if my ds's hair gets like 4 inches long, people start calling him a girl. It doesn't bug me but if it bugged him then I'd allow him to choose if he wanted his hair cut shorter. Ds's hair stopped looking cute longer (and started looking just messy) so we cut it shorter now...it makes him look so "corporate".

gracendantho26

I know he's a boy so it's hard to say but I will say that DD has that exact same haircut!

EliseB0323

I think his hair does make him look sort of "girly."

I'm not a big fan of long hair on boys, so take that for what it's worth.

CleoKitty

Thanks everyone. It's good to get an outside opinion. He really doesn't like being mistaken for a girl, but he also doesn't want to cut it short. When he hopefully gets it cut tonight I'll mention this to the stylist and see what she can do to make him a little more boy-ish without losing much length. 

Mrs Manners:

I like long hair on a boy as long as it's neat and clean (which his is).

Ha! The picture I posted actually makes me cringe the tiniest bit because he looks like he needs to wash his hair, IMO. That's a bit more unkempt looking than normal, but like I said- he's pretty overdue for a cut. We've been trying for several weeks to get it cut- hopefully the person who cuts it for us will have time this evening!

BostonGayGal

Yes, he looks like a girl. (and absolutely adorable regardless)

I don't think most kids are strongly masculine or feminine.  I think the clothes, voice, and hair are the cues that imply gender.

belle204

Knowing he's a boy makes it hard for me to think he looks like a girl. Plus, seeing him next to your dd, I think it's clear he's a boy. Kwim?

shouldbworkin

I think the haircut looks a bit like a girl's bob vs. a long boy cut.  It needs to be a little shorter in front and on the sides, IMO.  I know a little boy with similar hair that has an awesome long cut that does not look like a girl's cut at all.  It's shorter on the sides and more angled so it doesn't look as much like a bob (but not quite mullet like either).

AnnapolisLari

I don't think HE looks like a girl, although he's a beautiful boy. You know I love Miles. :-)

The style, though, is definitely crossing the girly line. You do need to tell the stylist to man it up a little.

omurray

I would never say it unless you asked, and I'm pretty sure I'd recognize him as a boy if he were wearing boy clothes, but yes, from the neck up I think he looks like a girl.  He is super cute.  Sounds like a tough situation.  I guess I would just try to explain to him that its okay to have your hair whatever length you want, but most boys have short hair and most girls have long hair and so that is why people call him a girl when they see him.  I'd just try to make it matter of fact and help him understand that people aren't trying to be rude, but that they are used to most (not all!) boys having short hair.  Then let him choose. 

MelandJeff

EliseB0323:

I think his hair does make him look sort of "girly."

I'm not a big fan of long hair on boys, so take that for what it's worth.

This. But, he is gorgeous! :-)

Heidisean

This is hard because we know he is a boy. However, I totally can see why someone would call him a girl because of his hair style and long hair on boys is not common. He is beautiful regardless!

CleoKitty

Right on.

I think the biggest issue isn't the way it's cut per se, but just the fact that it hasn't been cut if that makes sense. When trimmed it's cute, but it's been so long since he's had a trim that it's grown out into a weird bob.

I've been trying to get it cut for 4 weeks now. Our neighbor is a stylist at a fancy-shmancy high-end salon and she cuts it for us at home. She's just super busy and keeps forgetting- when we need cuts it usually takes several weeks of asking before she is able to do it.

We love her and she charges us half of what the fancy salon would charge (still expensive though, IMO) but if it's difficult for her to squeeze us in we might have to try to find someone else. I hate to give up the convenience of having a neighbor cut it at home though and I'm afraid that anyone else would butcher our hair. She does a great job with our hair and that alone is priceless, but at the same time if we have such a hard time scheduling a cut...

breezee_bean

J has longer hair and gets mistaken for a girl sometimes.  I don't think that I would mistake Miles for a girl when you dress him in boy's clothing. 

AggieCouple

He is just awfully cute.  At this age, it's still hard to tell since their faces are still so round.  I would find it ambiguous and go by context clues (shirt). 

DandR

I asked my DD, and she said "that's a girl."

Dimplz

It's hard to really say because I know he's a boy but dang he looks just like you!

Jodi&Joe

I asked Joey and Cam (took R's lead) ....they both said girl.

So yea, it's the hair that is the defining factor in this case.

CleoKitty

Thanks D&R and Jodi.

That's exactly the kind the kind of input I was hoping for: kids are about as unbiased and honest as they get, aren't they?

Ds and I have been talking about it this morning. He says it does upset him when people think he's a girl, but he has equally strong feelings about wanting to keep his hair long. We'll have to see what the girl who cuts his hair can do. 

Even with the long hair, I'm still so surprised when random people in public think he's a girl because he's always dressed in a very boyish manner. There's nothing even halfway ambiguous about his clothing (although I purposely cropped his outfit out of the photo here.)

Chrisy-Wyobride

The way his hair is cut & tossled in that picture--yes.  In any other picture i've seen of him, no.

I just asked my 3.5yr old girl & she said "a boy" ) 

cristiana

I agree, he could pass for a girl because of his hairstyle since it looks angled and layered.

Zenya

The only way I like long hair on boys is if they have very masculine features (I can only think of one I know who I think you know, too).  So I do think he looks like a girl b/c he has very delicate features.  

he's adorable!