Baby showers for 2U2, same gender?

MrsT1209

Seems tacky to me.

brightning

I'm of the opinion that all babies deserve to be celebrated. Some people approach it in a really tacky way, but I think every new heartbeat should get their own party!

(That being said, I didn't have a shower for DD.)

MrsT1209

I should have clarified better.... I think registering is tacky when you are having the same gender child within such a short time frame.

kada626

I thought so too. I even told my mom that I absolutely did not want a shower. My sil just had one for her 3rd kid & I thought it was tacky at the time. I got thrown a suprise shower anyway. I was so shock. I was upset because I didn't want people to have to spend their money on my dd but it did feel really nice to have a celebration that was just for my 2nd dd. It was the first time thru my whole pregnancy that I felt like everyone really was excited about her coming. Now, I'm all for showers for every baby.

brittneycc1982

I agree.  How much could you possibly need?  I didn't need much of anything, but mine are only 15 months apart.

blueshirt2003

We had two boys. Had a normal shower for the first child and then a barbecue family get together for the 2nd. I told people no gifts but they brought them anyways.

I always give gifts even if it's their 2nd+ child, with or without a get together.

MrsCorbin

I think it is tacky.  I don't mind a celebration when the baby is born but not a shower.  I didn't have one for #2 or #3 and #2 was a different sex.  I did receive some presents for DS at the hospital and when people visited but I really didn't need much.  The only thing I missed was all the personalized gifts that Lily received.  She has a lot of keepsakes that the others don't have.

mrshutch

I can see having a casual party to welcome baby (which we didn't do anyway for #2). But registering and having a shower? Maybe it depends on where you're from but that's definitely not done around here or where I grew up. Family & friends get you little gifts anyway, but a whole new shower is tacky.

kada626

MrsT1209:

I should have clarified better.... I think registering is tacky when you are having the same gender child within such a short time frame.

I agree w/this. I think registering would be tacky. If people want to do something nice for you that's one thing but you shouldn't be asking for anything.

AshlynsMom

kada626:

MrsT1209:

I should have clarified better.... I think registering is tacky when you are having the same gender child within such a short time frame.

I agree w/this. I think registering would be tacky. If people want to do something nice for you that's one thing but you shouldn't be asking for anything.

 

We registered because we were asked to.  And because with #1 we were super broke and borrowed a lot of big stuff, the registry was small, but not like a gimme gimme gimme kind of thing full of frivolous stuff.  It was all stuff we were going to buy anyway.  We did end up buying most of it, but, if nothing else, I'm glad we did it for the completion bonuses!

I don't get the different sexes argument.  If my DS had been a girl like DD, how would that have made celebrating her any less important?  And what if you didn't find out the sex of your babies?  Then what?  Shower or no shower?  Is it okay to do a shower for the same gender if they'll be born at different times of the year?  What about if one baby was freakishly large and the other baby isn't?  Should #2 get their own shower? 

neverblushed

This is NMS.  My kids were 4 yrs apart and different gender.  I had a friend who was REALLY into baby showers, and she assumed I was going to have a shower when pg with DS.  I had to kind of sternly put the kibosh on that.  I really didn't need any baby supplies -- we just used the same gear for DS that we used for DD.

However, my college girlfriends surprised me at our once-a-month girls night out by gifting me with boy baby clothes. The only people present were my 4 best college friends.  One friend's gift was a giant bag of clothes handed down from her son and bought at the consignment shop where she sold her kid's clothes.  She included about 6 or 7 cute outfits in each size from newborn to 24m.  Another friend gave me a cute newborn romper that was DS's "going home" outfit.

I felt this was a very appropriate celebration of the fact that I was having another baby, and that he was different and special and deserving of a little recognition.

howleyshell

IMO - tacky.  

But I've learned that these things vary by culture and location in the US.

For some it's 100% the norm.  

I personally think we've become way too gift oriented as a society.

The purpose of a baby shower used to be helping the first time parents get the things they'd need to have a baby.    Same thing with wedding showers - to help a couple set up house for the first time.

I declined a bridal shower.  We were both in our 30's and were combining 2 houses (we both owned our own).  We didn't NEED anything and I think it's silly to ask people to buy you stuff just for fun.  I'd prefer my friends spend that money on themselves!  Instead of a bridal shower my gal pals put together a beautiful book of well wishes and marriage advice from everyone in the form of a scrap book.  I treasure that so much more than I would have appreciated a bunch of new towels and sheets.

I accepted a baby shower because we had nothing for a baby but I did ask that it be kept simple and small and my friends were gracious enough to honor that request.  We didn't "need" anyone to buy stuff for us but we fit the tradition so we did it.  Again the best part of that day was hearing from all the other Mom's about what to expect as a new mom.  It was more about the women who are special to me guiding me thru the transition in my life than it was about the gifts.

 I did not register for my second.  Wouldn't have registered for my second even if they'd been different genders.

I always give gifts for second children.  I figured others probably would for us too.  No reason to make a special event and specifically ASK for gifts (and if you think a shower isn't exactly that you're fooling yourself).

I feel like a "meet the baby" party where the parent's bear the burden of the expense of the party makes much more sense with a second child if you really feel like it's important to "celebrate each child".

However...  the way I see it is that my first baby shower was much more about my transition into motherhood that it was about him.  He has no memory of nor will he ever care about his baby shower.  I honestly don't think my second will need therapy because he didn't get a special party thrown in his honor.

 

 

MrsT1209

AshlynsMom:

kada626:

MrsT1209:

I should have clarified better.... I think registering is tacky when you are having the same gender child within such a short time frame.

I agree w/this. I think registering would be tacky. If people want to do something nice for you that's one thing but you shouldn't be asking for anything.

 

We registered because we were asked to.  And because with #1 we were super broke and borrowed a lot of big stuff, the registry was small, but not like a gimme gimme gimme kind of thing full of frivolous stuff.  It was all stuff we were going to buy anyway.  We did end up buying most of it, but, if nothing else, I'm glad we did it for the completion bonuses!

I don't get the different sexes argument.  If my DS had been a girl like DD, how would that have made celebrating her any less important?  And what if you didn't find out the sex of your babies?  Then what?  Shower or no shower?  Is it okay to do a shower for the same gender if they'll be born at different times of the year?  What about if one baby was freakishly large and the other baby isn't?  Should #2 get their own shower? 

The person in particular I am thinking about received quite a bit of large items at her first shower.  Her registry is for those same large items again as well as items for her older child. 

MrsT1209

howleyshell:

I

I declined a bridal shower.  We were both in our 30's and were combining 2 houses (we both owned our own).  We didn't NEED anything and I think it's silly to ask people to buy you stuff just for fun.  I'd prefer my friends spend that money on themselves!  Instead of a bridal shower my gal pals put together a beautiful book of well wishes and marriage advice from everyone in the form of a scrap book.  I treasure that so much more than I would have appreciated a bunch of new towels and sheets.

I also declined a bridal shower.  We don't need anything and I didn't feel right registering for fluff just for the sake of registering.  So I just asked our closest friends to spend money on a night out with us in Atlantic City.  That was the best wedding present ever! 

kada626

AshlynsMom:

We registered because we were asked to.  And because with #1 we were super broke and borrowed a lot of big stuff, the registry was small, but not like a gimme gimme gimme kind of thing full of frivolous stuff.  It was all stuff we were going to buy anyway.  We did end up buying most of it, but, if nothing else, I'm glad we did it for the completion bonuses!

I suppose it would be hard if they ask you. I made a registry to get a completion bonus but I made it private so it was my own personal list & people wouldn't see it. If people asked what I needed in person I would tell them but I feel like putting a registry card in the invitations seems gift grabby. That's just how I would see it so I wouldn't do it.

Everyone's situation is different so maybe in your case your shower guests didn't feel it was tacky.

jlw2505

I personally am not a baby shower person at all (had a Meet the Baby party) after DD#1 that my MIL hosted for me and nothing after #2 since no one offered.  Anyway, some of my favorite showers that I have attened (regardless of what number kid) had themese such as bring a meal that can be frozen so the new parents don't have to worry about cooking or bring a baby book (plus one to donate).  My friends who are hosting showers for 2nd (or more) babies tend to do things like this rather than a more traditional gift as the parents to be often already have all that stuff but they still want to celebrate the new baby which I think is great,