not work related question

ai&Jas

Hi ladies,

DH and I were talking and we wanted your opinions. How are you teaching your kids to address other adults? For example, when we were growing up its was ie Mrs Smith etc, or Aunty x, uncle Y (related or not). I've been refering to everyone as Miss Holly or Mr Greg etc. At first we were using Miss and not Mr but then we wanted to be consistent.. but it sounds so formal. And yet calling them just by their first name sounds less respectful...

How do you address this?

Thanks!

mysticporter

Right now, we use Ms. or Mr. Firstname for non-related adults.  Where we live (MS) it seems to be a pretty widely accepted cultural norm.

EastCoastBride

In my friend group, we all go by our first names to our friends kids.  I personally don't feel "disrespected" to be called by my first name by a kid. 

Big picture, I feel that this needs to be somewhat of an agreement between parents and they people their kid will be referring to. 

Example- I had friends who were trying to teach their kid to call all adults by their last name.  These were (at the time) GOOD friends who we spent a lot of time with and w/ their kid.  It felt absolutely foolish to be referred to as "Mrs. Lastname" by them when 1- they called me by my first name, and 2- other kids called me by my first name.

But I was going to be on a super formal basis w/ their kid?  Stupid.

If they had wanted to go w/ "Mrs/Miss first name" as a compromise, I would have been fine w/ that, though. 

I want to respect how parents want to teach their kids, but yet, there also needs to be some respect on how people want to be referred to as!

AshlynsMom

Our close friends= Mr. or Ms. Firstname

Everyone else= Mr. or Ms. Lastname

Unless they ask DD to call them something else.  But first names only isn't okay with us. 

ETA: Our babysitters are almost exclusively college kids.  DD calls them by their first names, even though, technically, they're adults.  I don't know how/why this distinction happened, though.

ai&Jas

EastCoast Bride-- I totally get what you mean! I use my first name without the Ms/Mrs etc with our close friends kids...

I also agree we need to be consistent with what we teach her.

rcbuko

So far we have used first names only.  I haven't even thought about it.  When I was little, we called adults, Mr or Ms so and so.  Maybe it's because my friends and I still feel young at heart and don't see ourselves as Mr and Ms? (We aren't that young - all early to late 30s).  

It might change when we start meeting children from school where the kids are used to calling adults Mr and Ms so and so.   

wheelenl

We use Mr. or Mrs./Miss (it all comes out sounding like "Miss") First Name. Or close friends are just first name or Uncle/Aunt First name, even if they aren't uncles or aunts.

kyfirewife

We use Ms. or Mr. FirstName for adults that are not related. Only exception is for close friends that we see all the time.

Relatives are Aunt Katie, Uncle Kaleb, Cousin Mabel, etc.

jlw2505

We mainly do just first names.  None of my friends want to be Mrs Smith for example.  Some prefer the Mrs Amy thing which is fine but not for me.  The kids call their teachers Ms Stefanie and the swim teachers are Teacher Andy and soccer coach is Coach Jameson.  We still use Aunt/uncle but I just feel the need for the whole formal thing.