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Pre-School and Daycare
brightning
member
Kinda upset at a friend's DD
brightning
member
A friend's 6 yo DD came to DD's party and during the party asked if she could have some of DD's erasers - my mom has sent a bunch of cute little Japanese erasers they sell at her work.
I got down the child's goody bag and showed her that she was getting similar erasers as her thank you gift.
DD was playing with her erasers today and I see that at least 20 of them are missing. We haven't played with them since DD's bday party, everything is organized. DD said that the girl asked to take them and DD said she could.
I guess I shouldn't be upset because the girl is 6. And I'm happy that DD was being generous. But I just feel like at 6, she should know not to take handfuls of toys from a 3 year old. DD loves these, plays with them all the time, and they were brand new - my mom just sent them in the past month.
The lesson, I guess, is not to leave DD alone with a 6 year old who has always seemed kinda sneaky to me. Her parents are totally oblivious.
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Re: Kinda upset at a friend's DD
NO! Not the erasers.
That's sad. I know how much she loved them.
Can you order more online?
The Hapa Culture ones look very similar. And are on sale.
https://www.hapaculture.com/life/kids/raishapa/erasers.html
ugh. sorry that happened. they sound pretty "rare" and not so easy to replace.
Maybe your friend will find 20 erasers on her kid and ask where she got them all and give them back!?
Those do look identical. Thank you! I might be placing an order today!
I wish I could join you in placing an order! but they don't ship to Canada... grrrrrrrrrr.....
ETA.. they do ship to Canada but charge triple what they'd charge those in the US. bah.
Are you close enough with the mom where you could ask for some back? I know your DD did say she could have them, but 20?! Yikes. Under the circumstances, I'd try asking for maybe 10 or so back. I don't know, I may be totally out of line but you did tell her 'no' and at 6 she should know better.
that totally sucks!! at 6 years old i think she should know better than to take advantage or a 3 year old...
something like that always happened to me, i have a cousin she is 5 years older than me. we used to play babies together and she was always "trading" my new awesome barbie clothes for her old ones.. she used to take advantage of me!! it felt so bad.. i didnt really noticed until i got older, but she was always "trading" my new barbie stuff with hers..
That's a LOT to take. She really manipulated DD and it's not right. She's not old enough to really understand what she was giving consent to and the 6 year old should know that.
I'd speak to the mom and explain what happened. If she's any kind of decent, she'll understand and give the erasers back.
I would feel really awkward asking the mom, since the girl did ask and DD did say yes. And their parenting style is a little different than mine - if we go out to dinner with them, I'll hear them tell their children "good job!!!!!!!!" and "I love you" at least 30 times. I'm just not that generous with my praise and affection. And I don't want to cause a scene.
So I just ordered replacements (thank you MoroccoJade!) and had a little chat with DD. I said the next time someone asks to take her toys, she should just say that the next time the kid comes to her house, she can play with them again.
My IRL friend said this should be a lesson for DD and now that they're gone, they're gone. But I guess I'm just softer-hearted than that - I think DD was manipulated by a bigger girl. These were new gifts that she plays with constantly, otherwise I wouldn't bother replacing them.
And they were gifts from my mom, who we'll be going to see in 2 weeks. I'm sure my mom will ask if DD is having fun with her erasers - and that kinda makes things awkward, too. DD has cried several times this morning after searching everywhere for particular favorites.
Anyway, replacements are on the way. Thank you for making me feel justified in being a little upset. My IRL friend made it seem like no big deal - DD made a choice and now has to live with it. I know we have a lot of other toys, but I guess that's not the point.
Now I'm irritated at your IRL friend too. I'm all for natural consequences, and it can be tough to see our DC's learn hard lessons. BUT, Dana is a 3 yr old, tenderhearted little girl who likely did not fully comprehend that the 6 yr old was taking the erasers FOR GOOD. I'm willing to bet she thought she was sharing, which is commendable. I'm glad she's getting replacements, especially since these are special toys to her.
I disagree with your IRL friend. Dana is 3. She can't full understand the ramifications of what happened. I don't even think she can really understand what she was being asked.
You're a better person than I am because I'd have a hard time being around them again after that. I'd always feel upset about what happened.
You told a 6 year old no so she went and asked a younger child. Not ok. 6 year olds KNOW BETTER. My 4-5 y/o students know better.
Is it cheaper to have them shipped to someone in the US and then have them ship them to you?
I'll be in Canada in August but near Toronto.
ITA.
I would be upset too. The 6 year old knows better! My niece is 6 and she would NEVER try to pull that over with Braelyn, because she knows it's wrong, especially if I had just told her no myself. I am glad you found a replacement.
And your IRL is wrong. Like others, D is 3. It would be a good lesson for a 6 or 7 year old, but not a 3 year old. She couldn't have full understand that she was never going to see them again, but rather she probably just thought she was sharing.
And great job to you for raising such a sweet giving little girl. Because D is. You should be proud!
Nest Bio ~ ~ Baby Food Blog
I think you're both in the wrong. If your DD loves these erasers so much, why were they all out for play when everyone was over? If this was a toy my kids loved and played with all the time, it wouldn't be out for other kids to touch/destroy/take, etc. JMO.
As for the 6YO being "sneaky", I don't think that's so far-fetched. I'm sure the 6YO knows right from wrong, but sometimes kids do cross the line. I know that I will tell my kids to take 1 cookie, and IN FRONT OF MY EYES, they will grab 2. They KNOW I said 1, but they still push the envelope. Since your DD said "yes", the 6YO took it to mean okay for her since she wanted them.
I would talk to the mother nicely and explain the situation. Hopefully, she's embarrassed and you will get your erasers. I know I would be.
There have been kids that have walked off with toys from my house during a playdate. It happens.......
GL!
Good point. We're new at the whole "having kids over" thing. Very few of our friends have kids, the ones that do are too far away to visit, and the rest have tiny babies that don't get into anything.
I've learned this lesson the hard way when kids have broken toys at my house - accidentally. It's always been the toys that my girls LOVE!!!!
Oh, and I hope I didn't sound snarky in my original question. I was just trying to ask why they were out (it's hard to "read" the tone in writing).
No worries - I wasn't offended!
They are all in a little organizer, but DD took them out to show one of our adult friends and from there ...
Oh well! A shipment of replacements is on the way and we all learned a lesson.
I totally agree with this, too. You don't have to accuse your friend's child of being a sneaky brat, just say there was a misunderstanding and you want the items returned.