What do you think about mediation?

alibabbbs

I'm more inclined to go the traditional lawyer route, but STBXH asked if I would consider a mediator. I'm scared that the mediator would be more concerned with coming up with agreements than truly having my or DS's best interest in mind. What are your experiences?

sweetie0228

You can bring a lawyer to mediation.  Mediation is typically non binding until it's presented to a judge and then it's stamped into a court order.

The mediator is usually a lawyer but isn't out for either parties best interests, he/she is looking for an agreement.  It's less expensive because you aren't hashing it out before  a judge.

If you go this route, which is a good option,  make a list of things you want and then next to each thing what you can live with.

Such as:

1.  I want full sole custody and DB to fall off the face of the earth

2. I can live with primary custody and DB to have structured visitation.

1. I want every holiday and to never let my LO near your insane toxic family.

2. I can live with having LO, my birthday, Mother's day and DB his birthday and father's day all other major holiday's on a even/odd year alternating schedule. starting from 9am-7pm

and then have  a I can't budge on I will die on this hill list.

1. do not feed DD a whole day of milk products, such as mac and cheese, milkshakes ice cream and grilled cheese sandwiches she has been allergic to milk since she was born that's why we had to have the soy formula dumba$$

(sorry that really happened)

2. Under no circumstances is your creepy uncle lurch allowed to be unsupervised w/ LO ever.

 

This way you look organized, you are rational and you have wish list and a live w/ list and you can rationally discuss a plan.  The mediator will appreciate this AND favor rational and organized over fly by the seat of your pants, thinks he can manipulate every situation DB.

(obviously my suggestions are ridiculous you should brainstorm here on the best wording and realistic things for your wish list)