is this bad?

redshoegirl

Last night I sat up rocking Dash to sleep during the witching hour (11pm-12am - he sets up a hissy fit every night without fail after his 10/11pm feeding) and wondering if I was doing a bad thing. Not by rocking him to sleep - if that's what Dash needs right now, then that's what he needs. But I DON'T do that for Will, and I feel weirdly guilty about it.

Will is excellent at putting himself to sleep - you can plonk him down in his crib wide awake, give him his paci (he likes to suck on it a couple of times before going to sleep), and he'll take care of business himself within about 10-15 min. Dash, on the other hand, has to be soothed and cajoled into sleeping at night (he's OK during the day), so he gets rocked, often for at least 30 min.

Am I doing something bad by letting Will put himself to sleep vs rocking him? Like not nurturing him enough or something (I do cuddle him at other times, of course)? Or am I looking a gift horse in the mouth and overthinking this?

myday1708

That is SO interesting that they are so different! 

Don't feel bad, you do what you need to do. Definitely appreciate Will's skills. I would try to work toward encouraging Dash to do the same... But for now, rocking is totally fine. Whatever it takes! It's around 3-4 months that you want to start putting them down sleepy but awake to encourage good sleep habits.

Love that new siggy pic of you three!

redshoegirl

myday1708:

I would try to work toward encouraging Dash to do the same... But for now, rocking is totally fine. Whatever it takes! It's around 3-4 months that you want to start putting them down sleepy but awake to encourage good sleep habits.

That's what I figured for Dash - he's only 4 weeks old, so I have a few months before I have to start worrying about it. He seems to be going through a super clingy stage right now (like my post yesterday about him wanting to be held all.the.time) so I'm wondering if the need to be rocked is part of that (although it's been going on for longer)?

HulaLove

I think it's so interesting that they're so different. 

I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all.  In fact I think you're giving your sons both what they need.  You're not neglecting Will by taking care of Dash. 

lisakeiko

Just wanted to say that we're totally jealous that Will can already fall asleep on his own.    That is awesome and no, I don't think you're doing anything wrong by giving Dash a bit more snuggly time with you if that's what he needs right now.  Besides, Will is asleep, he'll never know. 

 

redshoegirl

lisakeiko:

Besides, Will is asleep, he'll never know. 

I tell myself this, but he often watches us from his crib before he falls asleep so the guilt factor is x1000 lol! I know he doesn't understand what he's seeing so it's all in my head, and it's clearly not upsetting him, but still...

Married2MrWright

Nope, not bad at all.  You're giving each one what he needs to go to sleep comfortably (rocking for Dash and paci for Will).  No worries mama.  Now, if Will needed to be rocked and you refused, I'd say that's not so great.  But what you're doing sounds perfect...keep up the great work mama!

mrs.winter

How funny that they are so different!!!

I think it's fine that you are rocking him, etc.  Some babies need it more than others.  (ashton being one of them....still is) ....and my Dr. just advise me at our last well baby check up that they should be able to self sooth by 12 months. If you are still rocking them, etc. after that....then you may have some issues and it'll be hard for them to put themselves to sleep, etc. 

Enjoy the one on one time you have with Dash.

sanae78

Be glad they don't both need to be rocked! 

MauiWedding08

nope, be glad they don't both need to be rocked.

Jack puts himself to bed really well (most nights) and when that first started John kept wanting to hold, rock, or snuggle with him and it would totally perk Jack up and make going to sleep harder.  Just trust they know what they want and it's great that their personalities and needs are so different that you are able to do what is best for them!

MrsNJSwimmer

sanae78:

Be glad they don't both need to be rocked! 

this!  I think what you're doing is perfect.  If Will sleeps on his own, don't look that gift horse in the mouth!

redshoegirl

MauiWedding08:

Jack puts himself to bed really well (most nights) and when that first started John kept wanting to hold, rock, or snuggle with him and it would totally perk Jack up and make going to sleep harder. 

LOL yeah, I tried this with Will one night - and I had to rock him for like an hour because he did the same thing: got all perky and assumed it was time to socialize!