How did you decide to go from 2 to 3?

caymanbride

We are having our 2nd boy in July, and couldn't be happier. I'll be almost 32 when he is born, and DH is already 41.

 Part of me thinks stopping at 2 would be perfect -- everything would be 'easier', they'll be 2 years apart so into the same stages when they get a bit older, travel will be easier, everything will be cheaper, etc....

 But I don't feel 'done', although I kind of wish I did! 2 seems perfect for when kids are little, but 3 seems more fun for everyone is older, family holidays, etc....

 We've talked about adopting a little girl at some point in the future, or even having a 3rd pregnancy when the boys are a little older. But then # 2 & # 3 would be farther apart, you know? I don't know how it will be going back to the baby stage. 

 I guess my question is -- how did you decide to make the jump from 2 to 3 kids? Was it something you always wanted? TIA!  

mamarazzi

I could have written this post.  To the letter. 

I always knew I wanted more than two -- ideally four.  H would prefer to stop with our two boys.  We've compromised on having three (though I'm not happy about the odd number).  We originally planned on waiting until the boys were older, but we'll start TTC soon so DS2 and the baby are more like 2.5-3 years apart (we originally thought 3.5-4 years).  We have several reasons for adding #3 sooner than later -- I have a business and it's growing.  It would be much more managable to take some time off in the next year than a couple years down the road, when it's hopefully booming.  I recently got laid off, so I'm staying at home.  Depending on H's job and my business, I may have to go back to work eventually.  It would be better to have the baby while I'm already staying home since daycare for three would be insane.  And, finally, we'd like our kids close in age so they enjoy the same things around the same times.  We don't want to have to "start over" with a baby and have to work the older boys' schedules around a baby's. 

All of those factors could sway us to being done with two as well, but we're just not done.  I don't feel like our family's complete.

canamama

It wasn't something I always wanted but after 2 I didn't feel "done" like you said.  We knew it would be chaotic and hard for me to care for the other two while pg but we just took the plunge and it actually hasn't been that bad.  I'm still pg though so I will let you know how it is AFTER the baby is born   My kids are 7 and 4 so they are pretty independent right now and looking forward to the baby and helping.  You're not very old so you still have some time to decide!

shouldbworkin

We are TTC #3 (have been for awhile).  I honestly couldn't realistically think about it until #2 was 2 y/o b/c I was too overwhelmed.  But, I was on the fence b/c I just didn't feel like our family was complete yet.  Once she turned 2 I was more ready to TTC.  I don't really mind that there is a larger age gap between 2 and 3.  Wish is was a little smaller, but that's out of my control.  #1 and #2 are so much easier now, that I'm glad we waited (yet I am eager to be done too).  I really don't think that the age difference will have much to do with how close they are when they're older and they understand and appreciate babies much more now than they did when they were younger.  So, I think it will be more fun to add to our family now from that aspect. 

We still go back and forth, even though we were really happy to be PG last month.  Yeah, life would be easier, but we still come back to thinking that for us, it wouldn't be as fun or full. 

AggieCouple

I don't feel done.  At all.  But also, I think 2 is a risky number.  Does it sound weird that in the case that one of them dies, or comes down with a debilitating illness or mental disorder, I'd want the other one to have a support network once we're gone?  

I feel secure about life in general because I have a great support network in my sibs; I know we'll never be on the streets or go hungry because I know that no matter what, they'll be there for me.  I want to make sure my kids have that.

shopgirl78

days like the past couple, i think we must have had some sort of temporary insanity!!  I remember not feeling done, always wanted three, we wanted more than one other sibling for my children, we wanted two of the same sex and to experience pregnancy at a different time of the year, may have been more

shouldbworkin

AggieCouple:

I don't feel done.  At all.  But also, I think 2 is a risky number.  Does it sound weird that in the case that one of them dies, or comes down with a debilitating illness or mental disorder, I'd want the other one to have a support network once we're gone?  

I feel the same way.  If I'd had kids when I was younger, I might be able to have another someday if something ever happened.  But, it haunts me to think about one of my DC being all alone someday after I'm gone b/c something happened to their only other sibling.  Not that there's any guarantee they'll be friends when they're older, but at least they won't be alone.

caymanbride

AggieCouple:

I don't feel done.  At all.  But also, I think 2 is a risky number.  Does it sound weird that in the case that one of them dies, or comes down with a debilitating illness or mental disorder, I'd want the other one to have a support network once we're gone?  

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Thanks for saying this! This is also something I think about, although I didn't say that in my OP. It's an excellent point that is always in the back of my mind. I am one of only 2 (have only 1 brother) and I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to him.