XP: Need ideas for toddler's care while I give birth

*KC*

My son will be 18-19 months old when I have my second son in 5-7 weeks.  I have a planned C-Section in 7 weeks, but the doc says I may go early like I did the first time.

What do I need to do to prepare for my toddler's care and comfort while I'm in the hospital?  I'm probably staying 4-6 days (last time was 5 due to the C/S and jaundice). 

DH will be taking off of work for a few weeks, and we're temporarily living with ILs while our new house is being finished.  I'll be bringing DS2 home to the ILs.  My parents live an hour away.  They can all help with DS1's care.  I'd like to keep his schedule as routine as possible, but flexibility will be key since everyone wants to help out. 

Any tips?  Things you wish you'd known?  Are hospitals pretty lenient about siblings visiting?

Things running through my mind- should I have DH stay at the hospital with me overnight like he did the first time, and let ILs do DS1's bedtime?  He's accustomed to them doing bedtime, so it shouldn't be a big deal.  Or maybe have DH alternate nights with DS1, and me/DS2.  I'm also concerned about DS1's meals...I prepare them fresh, and make sure everything is balanced and well-portioned.  Should I do this in advance for his dinners, and freeze them?  I could make a list of potential lunches and breakfasts and snacks, and let everyone else figure it out. 

TIA!

hamilton.ja

I'd probably decide at the time on whether or not your DH will stay at home or stay with you. It is hard to know where he will be most needed until the time comes I think. It could be you have a hard recovery and need his help at the hospital or it could be that your son has a harder adjustment and needs him more at home, you know?

As for the meals - I would just let it go, to be honest. Your IL's probably know what kind of meals you prefer at this point since you live with them and your parents you can talk to. Aside from that I wouldn't do much more than make sure there is good food that you like in the house. I would not go to the trouble of making the individual meals ahead of time, though. He'll survive for a few days if his meals aren't perfect, you know? Plus, chances are you won't be making perfectly healthy meals straight away once you're home either...

CaitlinJ22

hamilton.ja:

As for the meals - I would just let it go, to be honest. Your IL's probably know what kind of meals you prefer at this point since you live with them and your parents you can talk to. Aside from that I wouldn't do much more than make sure there is good food that you like in the house. I would not go to the trouble of making the individual meals ahead of time, though. He'll survive for a few days if his meals aren't perfect, you know? Plus, chances are you won't be making perfectly healthy meals straight away once you're home either...

I agree. It wont kill him to eat all chicken for a meal, or all fruit. Your IL's sound like they will have it covered.

personally DH will stay with me at night, but go home to do bath and bed to keep it routine, and when he's asleep come back with me. He says he wants to be there with me, plus he wants some us time with just DD and me, since when we get home DS will need most of his attention.

My mom will be there to watch him and she lives OOT, she doesnt know his routine, what he eats etc. I will make a list of foods to make it easier for her to choose, as well as write down his approx schedule, but thats it.  

shimma

CaitlinJ22:

hamilton.ja:

As for the meals - I would just let it go, to be honest. Your IL's probably know what kind of meals you prefer at this point since you live with them and your parents you can talk to. Aside from that I wouldn't do much more than make sure there is good food that you like in the house. I would not go to the trouble of making the individual meals ahead of time, though. He'll survive for a few days if his meals aren't perfect, you know? Plus, chances are you won't be making perfectly healthy meals straight away once you're home either...

personally DH will stay with me at night, but go home to do bath and bed to keep it routine, and when he's asleep come back with me. He says he wants to be there with me, plus he wants some us time with just DD and me, since when we get home DS will need most of his attention.

 

GREAT IDEA CAITLIN!! I hope my husband is willing to do this too.

iowagirl73

I didn't read your whole post (sorry) but I spoke with DS1 DCP and my babysitters prior to DS2's arrival as my biggest fear was going into labor in the middle of the night.  Good thing I did.  We had a babysitter come and be with DS1 until my ILs arrived (a 6hr drive).  Things worked out perfectly.

tsevere

Quite honestly, I'd let go for a little bit and just accept the help people are offering!  Don't worry about meals, don't worry about routines.  I mean, go ahead and explain your routines and what you do for meals, but don't worry about the actual enforcement.  If your DS is anything like mine, routines go out the door once they are with different people/different places, etc.  My kids will go to bed great for me at 8:00.  They will not go to bed for grandma and grandpa until they are falling asleep on the couch because they don't want to miss the fun.

DH just came home and took care of DS#1 when I had #2.  The PP's suggestion of having him come to hospital after #1 is asleep is great, especially since you are already with ILs.

P&J7

Ah... I am seriously writing a manual on my daughter.  This keeps me up at night. I am so freakin worried about this. I am a stay home mom so my life is my daughter.