All of a sudden DD doesn't want to go to school

ArcticFox

I'm not sure what is going on.  DD started preschool right around her 3rd bday in March.  Every day, as soon as she woke up, she said she wanted to go to school.

About 3 weeks ago she started crying that she doesn't want to go to school.  Now I almost have to drag her there.  She clings to me when we go and I have to pry her off me.  The teachers and I have distracted her enough so I can leave, and I guess she snaps out of it for the most part.  They said there is nothing they noticed that would have 'set her off'.

The only things I can think of is that it is 7 boys, my DD is the only girl.  Also maybe that sharing is an issue, maybe another kid took a toy from her.  We were on a playdate the other day and a girl took a toy from DD and she flipped out.

Any suggestions?  Like how to get her back into loving preschool?  To get her through the door?  Anyone else go through this phase - how long did it last?

Halo79RN

that's tough.  are the boys rougher than she'd like?  maybe they are interested in things dd is not?  

I know dd is in a gymnastics class with 4boys and 2 other girls. one little girl is the little sister to one of the boys and sticks with them. The other little girl and my dd are pretty much dodging the boys the entire time.  when they are waiting in line for their turn, the boys are rough... they act up...  they wrestle...  both dd and the other little girl have made comments at home about one particular little snot (who the teacher constantly is redirecting and correcting.  ... sad thing the kid is great at gymnastics... he just is not disciplined at all.  his mom just sits there like a bump on a log... the teacher corrects him, but has to teach the class. don't get me wrong, dd is having fun ... but she and the other girl in her class are constantly dodging the boys).  

have you asked dd why she doesn't like school?  or ask her who her friend at school is?  Ask the teacher if there is anyone she likes to play with... then you can ask about him and talk him up before going to school.   

jlw2505

Is the all boys but her thing new?  I am sure that could be a huge reason.  Is there a different class at her preschool that she could be moved into or that the school could somehow move kids around so its more even boys/girls? 

neverblushed

I would talk to the teachers, if you haven't already.

At my son's school, boys and girls do certainly play together at times, but there is a tendency for the girls to hang together most of the time and the boys to hang together.  Boy play can be pretty rough-and-tumble and sometimes competitive, and that's not fun for some little girls, especially if they have a real preference for quieter pretend play.

The teachers may be able to do a lot to help, including:

--be your eyes and ears in the classroom so you can get the "real" scoop on what's happening and not have to rely on the shaky re-telling of an upset 3 year old!

--steer her towards a kid whose style of play is more like hers (if she's quiet, sometimes these kids have a hard time "finding" each other).

--determine if she is always getting toys grabbed from her and help her self-advocate.

--suggest activities that will help her feel most comfortable in class.

I also don't think it's unusual for kids to "love" school at first when it's exciting and new, and then to begin to realize, "Oh -- so wait a sec -- you mean I have to keep going here every day (or every other day, or whatever) for the rest of the year?  Um, yeah, the novelty is starting to wear off for sure."

In this case, it can help to find one activity that's special for school (like a toy or book you don't have at home) and think about that and focus on it.  DD can anticipate playing with her special toy or whatever, when she gets to school, and this may help her feel more optimistic about it!

My son had a pretty rough transition to 3 y/o preschool and the teachers and I had to use all sorts of tricks to get him through it.  But we persevered, and by the end of the year he was fine!