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XP: Let the throat punching commence..

whatever496whatever496 member
in Military Families
Being that my due date is June 25th, my mother thought it would be best she come down for the 4th of July weekend so that it would be beneficial for her to be here plus it would give her an extra few days with that weekend off. The orginal plan was for my mom to be here for a week and then MIL come down the week after that. This is my moms first grandchild so she got first dibs. WELL I get a phone call last night from MIL stating that *suprise suprise* she will be coming down 4th of July weekend- but it dosent stop there- SIL and BIL will also be coming down with THEIR 3 kids to give them to MIL. Then to top it off they will only be staying for 4 days( long enough to get here, switch kids and then drive back) So instead of being her to actually HELP us she will be here only to get her other grandchildren. My house is no where near big enough for 10 people so the in laws will be staying in a hotel. Pretty much theyve managed to take my situation( baby being born) and turn it into a family event so they can get the kids......awesome. Now this normally wouldnt be a big deal BUT my husband is deploying 3 weeks after baby is born which is why they offered the extra help in the first place. I guess its just going to kick off the very difficult and long process of a shitty deployment..
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Re: XP: Let the throat punching commence..

  • shellyxoshellyxo

    Why is your SIL, BIL and MIL making a switch at your place? Why not she just visit your SIL,BIL at their place instead?

    I would be mad if my family made these kind of plans without asking me first.

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  • whatever496whatever496 member
    EXACTLY!!! SIL and BIL live in Minnesota and MIL lives in freaking South Carolina. Since they both want to 'see the baby' they are using that as the excuse to hand off the kids...Id rather them stay far away!!!
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  • shellyxoshellyxo

    I think you need to tell your SIL,BIL and MIL that you do not have enough room for everyone. Tell them they can stay in a hotel if they want to still visit you and see the baby.

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  • Sarahbear621Sarahbear621
    I agree with the PP and ask them nicely to stay in a hotel- I think that will help with your stress level.  Also- why do they need to come the 4th of July weekend.  Could you ask them to switch weekends?
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • MrsOjoButtonsMrsOjoButtons member
    You do have a say in this, you know.
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
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  • gosse1kmgosse1km

    I had a similiar, though not the same, experience.

    My in-laws wanted to come visit the week the baby was born. I put my foot down and nicely told them they couldn't visit until at least 3 weeks. I explained that I was a new mom and I wanted that time with my husband and would in no way be ready for visitors.

    Fortunately, although they were dissapointed, they respected my wishes. It helped that DH backed me up too.

    Bottom line, it's YOUR house and YOUR child. Lay the ground rules now or things like this will just keep happening. Having a new baby is STRESSFUL and frankly it's very rude of you MIL, BIL, and SIL to try and use your house as a "hand off". How does you DH feel about this? Is it possible to have him say something?

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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member

    I'm with the others. . . you have a say in this, a VERY big say.  Hotels all around (well, not your mom, but everybody else!) and limited time visiting at the house.  You will be in no position to be entertaining and your DH's and your mother's attentions need to be on you and the baby--not ensuring that out of town visitors are being fed and entertained.

    I hate to bring this up, as nobody wants to consider this. . . but your baby may be late.  I was due on June 28th.  My son was born on July 11th.  Yes, he was nearly 2 weeks late.

    Do all that you can now to set expectations for your DH's family.  You (and he, while he is home) call the shots.  They don't get to call you and "surprise" you with their change in plans.   Best of luck!

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  • SheilaESheilaE
    imageSmudges*Mom:

    I'm with the others. . . you have a say in this, a VERY big say.  Hotels all around (well, not your mom, but everybody else!) and limited time visiting at the house.  You will be in no position to be entertaining and your DH's and your mother's attentions need to be on you and the baby--not ensuring that out of town visitors are being fed and entertained.

    I hate to bring this up, as nobody wants to consider this. . . but your baby may be late.  I was due on June 28th.  My son was born on July 11th.  Yes, he was nearly 2 weeks late.

    Do all that you can now to set expectations for your DH's family.  You (and he, while he is home) call the shots.  They don't get to call you and "surprise" you with their change in plans.   Best of luck!

    This.  You can tell them that their plans don't work for you.

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