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1st Trimester
Sad :-(
I posted a few days ago about a not so good ultrasound. Well we had our follow up today and it was the news we did not want to hear. The baby is not growing and we having to decide to let it go naturally or get the surgery to remove it. Any thoughts on what might be better?
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Re: Sad :-(
No real advice here, but I am so sorry for your loss.
The Miscarriage board should be able to give you the pros and cons to both options.
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to be over, it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Unknown
Married 3-1-08 | Nathan 11-24-08 | Kaelyn 11-30-10 | Alicia 8-17-13
I am so sorry for your loss. Having gone through both a nautral loss and a d&c twice, I would recommend the d&c personally.
Physically, it really is a very easy proceedure and recovery was minor. For me, I just needed the physical part to be over, so I could move onto the emotional healing.
Also, if you would like them to run any tests, the d&c allows them to do so.
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry to hear about your news...
I've been through it and it is a really tough time, and decision. I had it naturally and it's painful. If I could have made a choice I would of had the D&C.
When you are ready or if you have more questions, the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board was a lot of help. I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
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I had to make that decision last year. I tried to wait it out but I couldn't stand just sitting around waiting so I went ahead with the D&C and for me, it was nice to have that closure. you need do what feels right for you.
I am so sorry that you are going through this. ((big hugs))
The MC/PL boards are amazing and so supportive!
I am so sorry for your loss.
As previous posters have mentioned, the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board is full of really supportive women. Reading and posting on that board helped me so much with my early loss.
Good luck to you.
I'm so so sorry for your loss
I had a d&c last summer - I couldn't handle the thought of just waiting it out for an unknown amount of time. I needed to take control in such an out-of-control situation. It was (physically) a very simple procedure, and I was "happy" with my decision.
It's a very personal decision for you, your partner, and your doctor to make. I hope you find one you're comfortable with.
I'm so sorry.
Either way can be a very emotional path to take. It's gotta be what is best for you emotionally and physically. But whatever you choose, I wish you a speedy recovery physically and the ability to take however much time you need emotionally to heal.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
For my m/c, I waited a week and a half to try and m/c naturally. It just didn't happen. So my doc scheduled a d/c. I must tell you that waiting to m/c naturally was pure agony. I couldn't focus on anything. The d/c process (check in, IV's, waiting, post op) took longer than the actual surgery itself. And recovery wasn't bad. Again, I'm sorry for your loss. And remember to head over to the miscarriage/preganacy loss board. They are such wonderful ladies!
So sorry for your loss.
I have had 2 m/c and have dealt with them both ways. The D&C was 1000xs easier than naturally. I was in and out within 3 hours, had very little pain and was fully recovered after a day. Naturally it was a long drawn out process, took 2 days to pass everything and the pain was horrible.
If you have already started naturally can be better for your body, to let things happen as they should. But if the process hasn't started yet I would say go for the D&C.
Won't even feign to have any advice to offer, but you and your family and in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope that whatever you decide goes as quickly and painlessly as is possible, and that you're able to find some comfort soon.
First, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've had three miscarriages and have had them three different ways, naturally, induced with Cervidil, and a D&C.
DO NOT USE CERVIDIL. It was awful, I was in "labor" for 4 hours, the placenta was the size of my fist and I went into shock on my dirty bathroom floor.
Natural took a long time and hurt a lot.
D&C was by the far the most kind.
Listen, you're already in enough pain there's no reason for you to endure anymore.
(((Big Hugs)))
I'm sorry, but this is a bit insensitive.
First, let me say I am very very sorry for your loss. My posting is going to seem clinical and uncaring, but please don't take it as such. Unlike Ehrenhow, I had a medically managed miscarriage (two, actually) that went really well. In fact, I've only ever had natural miscarriages, but I wanted to give you a few points to ponder:
Reasons for a natural miscarriage:
* need to go through the process
* don't want surgery
Drawbacks to a natural miscarriage:
* the process can be hairy.
* the waiting is TERRIBLE.
* 60% of natural miscarriages occur within 14 days of confirmed fetal demise, an additional 20% occur within 30 days.
* Of natural miscarriages endured at home, 30% of women go to the emergency room for pain treatment, of those approximately 10-15% have a d&c to conclude the miscarriage.
Reasons for a medically managed miscarriage:
* need to go through the process
* don't want the surgery
Drawbacks to medically managed:
* medically managed miscarriage can be painful if prescription painkillers are not given
* going through the process of miscarrying is pretty ugly, I won't lie. And mine have been easy.
* Of medically managed miscarriages, approximately 80% happen with the first dose of misoprostal. 96% occur with one or two doses of misoprostal. 4% of medically managed miscarriages need follow up d&c treatment.
* Of medically managed miscarriages, approximately 15% of the women having them need to go to the emergency room during the event for bleeding or pain - of those who go to the emergency room, 5% have a d&c to terminate the event.
D&C:
Advantage:
* you don't go through the process.
* over quickly, often you sleep through it, get twilight sleep, or are heavily sedated
Disadvantage:
*cost?
* it is surgery with a small rate of complications (this is why we avoided it with all of our losses -- I'm not a fan of surgeries of any form)
Of the women I know who have had natural miscarriages, *MANY* would opt for a d&c in the future, which I think speaks volumes and I'm always swift to tell women that.
One study on Misoprostal found that 75% of patients who used it would use it again and 85% of people who used it would recommend it to someone else in their position.
Okay. That's my clinical stuff. Now for the emotional stuff: For *ME*, going through the event was part of my closure. I needed the cramps, the lying on the couch in pain, the bleeding, everything - I needed that to process my pain and my loss and to earn recognition of my pain and my loss from my friends and family. I cannot explain it, I cannot tell you why, but for me, personally, that was the way it needed to happen. Period. Part of it was fear of surgery, but a HUGE part of it was the punctuation at the end of an emotional journey.
My advice? If you do NOT need that, skip it altogether. Go get surgery and wake up not pregnant. There is NO REASON to endure the physical process of miscarriage if it is not a part of your healing.
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i am so sorry to hear this . . . we had a missed miscarriage after ivf around 8 weeks. after seeing the heartbeat during the first ultrasound around 6 weeks, we were not expecting anything this traumatic at the second ultrasound, but there was no heartbeat. it was devastating.
we decided to have a d&c. it was a personal choice. it was hard to think of waiting for my body to pass the baby naturally knowing what we knew. in addition, i still had symptoms of being pregnant. i couldn't bear to wait.
whatever you decide will be the right decision for you. give yourself time to mourn the loss and know that there is a bigger plan for you.
currently, we are on our second ivf cycle - this time a cryo cycle and we found out last week that we are pregnant. i am much more cautious this time about my stress and keeping my hopes in check to take it one day at a time . . . it's hard to go what you're going through and i can only tell you that time will heal . . .
So sad for you! We lost our first baby 3 mos ago, and I am so sorry.
I thought a lot about what to do after, and decided to go with waiting/natural. I am glad I did. It only took about a week and a half after we found out about the loss. I miscarried in the middle of the night, just me and my baby. Tried to wake my husband up, but I didn't try very hard. I think I needed some mommy time.
It was more painful than menstrual cramps, woke me up from sleep, but bearable for sure. That pain only lasted maybe half an hour, and I think I slept through some of it. Going through that helped me feel like it was real, and I think gave me a little bit of closure. I was afraid being put to sleep and then waking up with no baby would feel kind of clinical and cold.
Do what you feel is best for you and your family ultimately. Ask your doctor any questions you still have. You are in my prayers.