Moms of two or more

mamarazzi

Does your second (or third) child seem younger than your older child did at the same age? 

DS1 seemed so much older/more advanced at 17 months than DS2 does.  I find myself still thinking of DS2 as a baby and know when DS1 was this age I thought of him as a toddler.  I feel like I had higher expectations of DS1.

I'm worried I'm doing one or both a disservice.

PinkPiano

I would say just the opposite for my kids.  I think with our first we maybe over babied her at times.  With our 2nd we were more laid back and didn't hover as much.  Plus, she saw her older sister doing things and wanted to do them earlier.

 

wellfleet04

Yes and no.  I think a lot of it is just that they are different kids developing at different rates.  Kate was (is) incredibly verbal at a very young age.  By 13 months (Ben's age) she had tons of words, could point to all of her body parts, etc.  Ben not so much.  But Kate was not even pulling up and cruising at 13 months and Ben is walking....so, different kids.

I do TREAT Ben as more of a baby than I treated Kate at the same age.  He's still on bottles and I've made absolutely no effort to change that.  With Kate, I was militant about sippies right when she turned 12 months.  Ben still sleeps for crap (like a baby) and Kate was sleeping well at this age.  

 

knmommy

I have 3 kids, and it seems like Kaitlyn was older than both my DS and DD at the younger ages.  Allison has a hard time talking and is in speech, so maybe that is the issue.  I often say that Allison seem so much younger than Kailtyn at that age!

Mrs.Tony

Opposite here. I feel C has started everything earlier than his sister did. He was walking at 1 and she didn't walk until 15 months. His first year flew by and he definitely is doing way more than she did at his age.

Temp970088312507122

My second is only 7 months, but I notice it already. I was just in so much more of a rush for DD1 to grow up I guess and so anxious for all those firsts, that I feel like I sort of did things earlier with her. With DD2, we're much more relaxed.  Like solids for instance. At 7 months, DD1 was eating so much more food than DD2 is now, but we did start earlier with DD1.

Looking back at pictures, they were the same size and doing the same things, so it's not that DD2 is slower or anything. But I'm guessing part of it will be seeing how grown up your first DC is compared to your second, so the second will seem like more of a baby for longer. Does that make sense?

 

Brewster

YES, YES, YES.  I remember thinking Noah was so "big" when he had just turned 1.  He hardly seemed like a baby anymore.  Maren seems SO young to me still.  She is pretty much right on where he was with milestones, but I think he was a little more verbal. 

ilovemygirls

My second is so much more mature than my first, so it's completely the opposite for me.  I actually don't think that I've treated them any differently, they're just very different kids. 

SurfBride4

I know at least for us #2 is physically hitting some milestones a lot later. She can tripod sit for a little bit, but sitting totally up on her own is no where in sight it seems. #1 did it right from the start at 5 months. I think since Riley was sitting so early, she never rolled back to front until 7 months b/c she didn't have to. Zoe did it months ago & the child is like a tumbleweed. Put her down & she is in another room 30 seconds later. Riley was also a lot more verbal, already saying mamamamamama by this age & Zoe just squeals. I don't think I have lowered the bar for Zoe, but I just remind myself all kids are different.

EMT

DS is ahead of where DD was physically but slightly behind where she was verbally and such. Just try to remember they are different people and compare DS2 to developmental stats vs to DS1. I hear on still feeling #2 is a baby. It blows my mind that DS is almost as old as DD was when I got PG with him.

joseysbride

Not really.  They are extremely different in their developement, though.  Cohen is MUCH more advanced physically than Rory was.  He has been crawling for three months now, and she wasn't crawling at this point yet.  I'm sure he'll be walking within the month, and she didn't walk until 14 months.

On the other hand, Rory was talking much more and has always been ahead in that respect.  I was just looking in her book the other day, and at 12 months, she was saying mama, dada, puppy, thank you, please, and hi (her own version, of course, but we still knew what she was saying).  At 10 months, Cohen says dada, but I'm pretty positive he doesn't know what he's saying.  He won't even be close to where she was by the time he's a year old.

When it comes to expectations, I don't know what happened to me, but I honestly don't remember a lot from when Rory was this age, so I don't find myself comparing them much at all.  I am reminded only because I wrote it all down and took a ton of videos.

Mickschick

Yes. And part of me wonders if in my own head I made the twins "Grow up" faster than they really needed to/did. I found out I was pg with Logan when the twins were 11 months- so by the time I had Logan I thought the twins were "BIG" kids- kwim? But then I watch the video from when Logan was born and when the twins came to visit and they really were just babies.

Now I think Logan is more babyish than they were at that age. He doesn't really talk much- and the twins were definitely talking by that age. He just points and says uh- huh uh uh for things. The pedi tells me not to worry about it- he's my baby and I probably baby him more (I think I do) and that the twins talk for him so he doesn't have a need to talk. He's just now starting to say a few more things...so we'll see. But I do think that he's more of a baby at this age than the twins were.

shouldbworkin

Complete opposite for my kids.  They act almost the same age and have since DD was very little.  She did things much earlier than my DS did too.

Jodi&Joe

I'm the complete opposite.  I babied Joey WAY more than I did/do Cam.  He talked late and I think that was a HUGE part of it for me (I let him get away with a lot more b/c I think I thought in my head that he didn't understand.  When, really, clearly he did he just couldn't communicate that he did!  LOL)

Anyway, Cam talked way earlier and I still find myself forgetting that she is only three!!!  Soon to be four.  EEK!  But really, I expect the same from her as I do from Joey....which probably isn't the right thing but it's reality.

AnnapolisLari

I think it's the other way around. DD is 17 months going on teenager. That girl has no fear, tries to do everything DS does and usually succeeds, and eats like a truck driver.

DS was slow on all of his physical stuff-- walked at 15.5 months, etc. He's more cautious.

true_norskie

DD1 did seem a lot older in some ways.  Appearance-wise, she has always had a ton of hair and I knew, even before DD2, that she looked, and I treated her, older because of that. 

But, socially/verbally, DD1 was quite a bit more advanced.  We have video of her singing her ABCs and Twinkle Twinkle at 19 months.  DD2 recognizes the songs and says a few words here and there while you are singing it, but is nowhere NEAR where DD1 was.

On the other hand, DD2 is MUCH more advanced physically at 19 months than her big sister was.  She climbs, goes down slides by herself and is generally more dare-devilish than DD1 has ever been.  And she gets away with more because I can't hover over her 24/7 and tell her not to do everything that is on the edge of "don't do that" because I don't have that time!

However, DD2 did something this weekend (can't remember what it was) that shocked the crap out of me maturity-wise.  I realized then that I was definitely not giving her enough credit. 

It is a learning process, much like it was with DD1--they are very different and teach ME every single day.  I wouldn't be too hard on yourself as long as you're not going overboard.

rebs

PinkPiano:

I would say just the opposite for my kids.  I think with our first we maybe over babied her at times.  With our 2nd we were more laid back and didn't hover as much.  Plus, she saw her older sister doing things and wanted to do them earlier.

 

This exactly.  I wouldn't worry though, because all kids mature at their own rate.

grja

Yes!!  DS was walking at 8/9 months and running at 10 months. He seemed so big at his first birthday party. Dd is going to be 1 in a few days and she's still wobbly on her feet. She seems like such a little baby to me. She is mroe talkative than he was at this age, but she's not as mobile.

mamarazzi

EMT:

DS is ahead of where DD was physically but slightly behind where she was verbally and such. Just try to remember they are different people and compare DS2 to developmental stats vs to DS1. I hear on still feeling #2 is a baby. It blows my mind that DS is almost as old as DD was when I got PG with him.

This is part of it for me, too, I think.  It's just amazing to me.

docmay25

No, Jack was definetely more babied and was later in developmental milstones.  Emelia was an early walker, talker etc.  I think she was trying so much to keep up after Jack.  Also, she copied (and still does) everything he did.  I think I also had higher expectations for Emelia being the second child and knowing that she could do it.

AngelaSue

I think it's opposite. DS was more verbal than DD#1 was. And DD#2 seems more advanced than DD#1 or DS at 14 months. She talks A LOT and says a ton of words that you can understand, I know DD#1 didn't say a lot that we could understand until she was closer to two. DS said a lot of words at 14 months too, but not as many as DD#2. But all kids are so different.

j-w

I think for me, it's more a matter of perception than it is reality.  As in, with the first kid, everything is brand new and they seem so big to be doing this or that.  And then when you have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, it is easy to think that the 1 year old might be behind because you probably don't have an accurate memory of the 4 year old at that age.  At least this is how it works for me!  Plus, I definitely baby DS more...he gets carried more than DD did at his age, etc.

hikerbeth

No.  My DS is only a month old, but he was born 3 weeks later in gestation than my DD and it was really obvious.  He was socially smiling/cooing at 3 weeks and is moving around more physically already.

DD was way advanced verbally, but needed OT for gross motor delays when she was a year old. . . it will be really interesting to see what happens with DS.

jlw2505

For me, its the opposite but a lot of that is the fact that DD#1 was a late talker and DD #2 was on the early side and both girls are at about the same level with that.  My younger DD always wants to do what my older DD does and DH and I sometimes have to remind ourselves that she is only 2 and not older.

AggieCouple

Yes, absolutely.  But I don't think I am treating them differently at the same ages.  I think it's because you have something to compare it to, KWIM?  When I go into TB's classroom (same teacher ML had when she was in the toddler group), the kids seem *so* young.  They are much younger than I remember ML's classmates being. I think it's because you are subconsciously comparing them to the older child(ren), and they just seem so young comparatively.  

npeacock

j*w*:

I think for me, it's more a matter of perception than it is reality.  As in, with the first kid, everything is brand new and they seem so big to be doing this or that.  And then when you have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, it is easy to think that the 1 year old might be behind because you probably don't have an accurate memory of the 4 year old at that age.  At least this is how it works for me!  Plus, I definitely baby DS more...he gets carried more than DD did at his age, etc.

Ditto this, except DS is #1 and DD is #2. For me, DS seemed SO big doing things, and now looking at DD doing the same thing at the same age, she seems SO little!