Forgetful (Intro)
I was so happy when I saw the board link over on the left, but then I keep forgetting it's here.
My husband is AD Army,and we're coming up on his 3 year service anniversary soon. We've been stationed up here at Fort Bragg for almost 2 years now. I'll be 26 this year, and he'll be 21. We had our first baby back in February, and we have a toy poodle named Moses.
I'm not really a "good" Army spouse since I don't participate in anything unless it's mandatory. Even then I try to see if I can get out of it. To me, this is just my husband's job/career. He loves what he does and wants to be a lifer so I'm fine with that.
I'm really glad that military families finally got their own board though. It's nice to be able to talk to people who understand what you're going through for the most part.
Re: Forgetful (Intro)
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I actually went to a few of the meetings and one of the balls. I was pretty much miserable the whole time I was at the ball. All that money we had to spend to sit there at a table, pick over the gross food, and listen to people talk for 3 hours. By the time they got to the dancing it was 11pm so I was beyond ready to leave.
I guess part of my issue is how a lot of the guys in my husband's unit treat him. It makes it really hard to be all sweet and personable around people like that For instance, they dumped a bunch of ant infested trash in our car. Also, there's a huge gap in my interests versus those of the other wives. So it's a lot of awkward silence from me when they are all conversing about fashion or exercise stuff lol. Plus none of the events the FRG hosts are even relevant to me so I never go.
If I could find a group of gaming, Anime watching moms I'd be set.
Oh my.. I know what you mean! I am really into Anime, gaming and a lot of other geek hobbies. I have the hardest time becoming friends with other females in the military (or female spouses) because of difference in hobbies.
After three years at my first base, I finally found a female spouse who like the same hobbies. We hit it off great and spend a lot of time hanging out. She just had a daughter and I would help her out around her house. Than whenever her LO was asleep, her and I would play videogames. I was so happy but this only lasted about four months because I was due to PCS soon.
It seems whenever I find a really good friend, I am always ready to move to a new base. It is pretty frustrating.
hey there! I read your post and practically wanted to hug you after! I'm so not interested in anything about my DH being in the military. We have been in a little longer then you but when we were stationed stateside I worked full time and had a group of friends that were completely independant of the military. I felt like a freak because people namely other spouses thought I was snob because i wasn't into my husband's career- hello i had my own.
I will say since we have been stationed overseas the spouse group here is wonderful. I'm really glad that i got involved- i think in general most of the women overseas go more out of their way to be nice and act like a family then they do in the states. i still work full time so I can't be active in many things but I love doing supper club, book club and bunko!!! I have met so many fabulous women that I hope to remain friends with for many years to come. So dont' write it off just yet- you just might have to keep searching till you flind your click!
I have found it difficult to find many "real" friends within the military wives pool as well. Many of the ones I have met are perfectly content with being as they are. They have no desire to better themselves or gain an education, which I will never understand. Many want to be taken care of and don't think about what will happen to them if they divorce or God forbid, something happens to their DH. Most that I've come across are also very young and the only thing we have in common is that we are mothers.
I don't drink, and just about every military wife I have met in my 8 years with DH are lushes, lol. I'm not into the bar scene, many are. I don't think it is okay to get your teenagers drunk, many do think it is okay. I live a relatively "boring" life with regards to the standards of the wives I have met, but I am content with it.
I have also met lots of spouses who are as dumb as dirt, and I can't stand to be around that, lol.
Thank you so much ladies. I feel guilty sometimes because I come from a family with a strong military background, and they often criticize me because I'm not "involved" like I should be. I have honestly made an effort, but I always feel so out of place so I just stay home and keep to myself. I do have a few friends here so I'm not a complete hermit lol.
I can so agree with this. I rarely ever drink, but good grief the guys in my husband's unit and their wives drink a lot! I was able to get my husband out of going to their pre-deployment ball because I was sick, and I'm so glad I did. So many people got in trouble because they all got extremely drunk, and my husband didn't get punished with them for their stupidity (for once).
I don't know if the Army is different from the USMC, but DH is an officer and I don't participate in much of anything. And since I'm a spouse, nothing is "mandatory" as far as I'm concerned. A two star even told me I was "defiant" once because I wasn't attending/planning functions with his wife. ::Shrugs:: DH supports my level of involvement and knows that if he says, "Hey, I really need you to go to this/do this", I will.
I wish I could reach through my laptop and pinch your LO's cheeks. So cute!
Yeah if you're not the model officer's wife it can actually ruin your husband's career. It's one of the stupidest and most ridiculous things I've ever heard of honestly. It's all about "keeping up appearances" and all that BS.
Meh, I don't worry about it. There are plenty in the USMC ranks that will try to bully the Marines and their spouses into believing that, but it's actually against DOD policy to factor it into a promotion or job assignments. The spouse can't even be discussed during a promotion board. Socializing might get a service member a "daddy" that will try to pull some strings for him, but that's about it. My brother was an Army officer and his wife was too busy with her own career to even think about his.
Thankfully I'm not worried about it too much, but thanks a ton for the reassurance!
It's nice to know other military spouses feel this way too! I try to get involved with FRG, but mostly just to get out of the house. Most of the women in DH's unit are older than I am and it doesn't seem like we have much in common. When I first got here I hung out with one woman quite a bit, but it felt like she was kind of fake and just felt like it was her "duty" to help a new spouse. DH won't be re-enlisting and has less than 2 years left. He'll be overseas for a year of it and I'll be moving home anyway, so I don't feel I need to get too involved and find a group of friends around here anyway. I might feel differently if he was making a career out of this, but for now, I'm happy with how things are.
Oh, but also don't write off women who seem nothing like you. My only real friend here is my complete opposite in just about every way, but we get along great and she's been a huge help to DH and me.
Actually my "best friend" up here is nothing like me. I spend a lot of time with her, but being around her for long periods of time pretty exhausting.