MoM seriously, how do you do it

SLM05

between the sleep depravation and my older DD and forget the hous, it is a disaster!!!!!.  The boys are almost 2 months old and have been home for 3 weeks.  This was my first week alone with the kids.  While i managed, it was by the skin of my teeth.  I feel like i don;t get to hold, spend cuddle time with each child.  I feel more like their nurse/maid then their mom.  I get them feed, changed and they go back to sleep. My older DD has watched a lot of tv .  We don;t live near our families.  DH and I are trying to do shifts at night so we each get some sleep but we are both tired and stressed.  DH wanted to sell the boys to the circus today. So....how do you do this and do it well. Please tell me it get easier.  I need some encouragement.

janjag

you are right in the tough part... and it could last a bit due to adj age.  you should give yourself the biggest pat on the back.  you made it through a week on your own!  i never did that, and i just had the 2.  i always had SIL come by, or my dad, someone to cover me while i pumped or took a 20min nap.  at 2 1/2 or 3mos i hired a mother's helper to come weekday mornings 7-10.  that helped a bit. 

once one of my bf's mom came by.  i went to pump in my room while she watched the girls.  45min later she came to see what i was doing.  i had finished pumping, and was passed out face down on the bed...topless.  HA!  she didn't wake me   i was mortified at the time, and now it is so funny.  you will get through this, and you will look back and remember silly things.  as time goes on you will get more comfortable with a routine, and figure out what works!

Temp159135562506975

just remember that early on the babies are like luggage- you can put them down when they don't need to be fed/changed, etc... and spend some time with your DD - that is what i did with Griffin.

As the babies get older it's great to put the babies in bumbo seats on the floor where you are playing with DD - so they can watch- my guys loved doing that.  Now they all play on the floor together - it's great- and a lot easier tahn life before they played/crawled, etc.

you've got 3 babies so a whole other level of hard - i can't imagine - just know it WILL get easier - esp when you get more sleep!

robinsokj

I dont have an older child, but I'm right there with you with everything else.  There is no time for interaction and it makes me feel guilty.  My boys are colicky as hell and it makes you wonder what the hell you got yourself into.  I'm just waiting for that magical 3 month point when everyone says things turn.  Its gotten so bad at points (i.e this morning) that I just want to leave the house and not come back. 

I just keep telling myself that it will get better and try to take one day at a time.  

ethansbride2b

That age is very hard due to sleep deprivation and I didn't any any other children.  I still feel like I don't get enough cuddle time with mine, but it does get better!  Mine started sleeping longer stretches at night around 3 months old.  They now STTN (11 hours) and that extra sleep makes a world of difference! 

 Hang in there!

lnle

right there with you, honey! All I can say is we have some really great days/nights that offset the rough ones.

I'm nervous b/c I'll be on my own with the babies this week while my mom is out of town.

kelliwill

I don't have three or an older child, so I can't say that I know exactly what you are going through...but from my experience with two it will get easier!  Give yourself credit for making it through by yourself....that is huge.  I know for me, I would barely make it through the day when DH first went back to work.  We didn't have much help either.  My Mom would come 3 nights a week but that's it, DH family didn't help at all and I was alone all day.  It takes a while to get into a routine....it took me a long while and we still fly by the seat of our pants some days.  I totally felt guilty for not holding them enough, feeling like I wasn't enjoying them the way moms of one baby can, and like I was just going through the motions to get by.  I think that is just the way it is with multiples some times.  My Ava would need to be held a LOT and Gracie was okay alone in the swing, so I felt guilty for that too and another MoM told me that you do what you can do to get through and meet their needs the best you can.  If you feel bad/guilty for each thing you are going to drive yourself crazy.  Being a MoM is hard and you have an older child to boot!  I know for me, it did get easier, because as they have gotten older they have been able to be satisfied playing on the floor on their play mats, in swings, etc. where in the beginning they just needed to be held all the time.  Plus, you will start to feel better as time goes on and more confident in your ability to handle all of them plus your older child.  I totally get the stress things too.....there were nights when DH and I were so stressed and tired that I seriously thought we weren't gonna make it and that we'd end up divorced.  They would both cry and he wanted to jump out the window.  It can totally be crazy at times, but do your best to remind yourself that it will pass......it will get easier.  You will wake up some day and thing....wow, they really have been sleeping better and wow, this really is getting easier.  You can do it!!  GL 

benkari

I could not imagine doing it with an older child.  You will get into a routine and figure out what works and it will get easier for you.  There always seem to be new challenges so I don't think that it is ever going to be easy to be a MoM!

SLM05

Thanks ladies!  DH and I took turns taking naps today and the orld seems like a happier place.:)  We even ventured out on our first family outing:) took all 4 for a walk at the park.  It was heaven to get out! Thanks for the encouragement, i needed it.  It is good to know it gets better.

gumiberg

It does get easier before this, but IMO, we are at a super easy stage because they are now playing together.  I love that I can set them down in front a bunch of toys and they will entertain each other!    And, they entertain me...my favorite thing to do is just sit back and watch them.  They do fight, but I end up laughing, which makes them laugh and then we're all laughing...such a blast.   I know 3 babies is a ton more work than two, but I am going to guess that at some point, its also going to be more fun.  You will have THREE babies to entertain you!  and laugh with you!

Hang in there.

sawyer918

robinsokj:

I dont have an older child, but I'm right there with you with everything else.  There is no time for interaction and it makes me feel guilty.  My boys are colicky as hell and it makes you wonder what the hell you got yourself into.  I'm just waiting for that magical 3 month point when everyone says things turn.  Its gotten so bad at points (i.e this morning) that I just want to leave the house and not come back. 

I just keep telling myself that it will get better and try to take one day at a time.  

Holy crap this is me exactly right now! Are you also taking Zoloft?  I just started on Friday!

beth2626

Everything changed about 2 weeks ago for us, when DH and each started to take a baby at night. I get P and he gets V. Then the next night we switch.  I BF, so DH gives his baby a botle of formula (no time to deal with warming pumped BM up at night).  We were waking the sleeping baby when one would get up, but I started thinking P would sleep longer if we let her. THe first week whoever had P got more sleep. Then this past week they started to synch up their sleep and are going for much longer stretches. MY DH has to get up at 5 to get ready for work, but he is very helpful until then. He only has to get up once. Maybe twice. Really, try this, it should help a lot. Remarkably, the babies don't wake each other up when they cry in their room.