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Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
Saw our marriage therapist today
It was hard. Really, really hard. But I'm glad we went.
Long story short, we're going to get into some individual counseling, work on ourselves a bit, and call a "truce" of sorts for a few weeks. Give ourselves some down time to figure out what we both want, what would make us happy, even if that means a separation/divorce.
Neither of us is in the right emotional place to make any big decisions right now, and our therapist was right in saying we each need some time to deal with a bunch of crap and just stabilize our lives. We still have two kids to care for, jobs to go to, lives to live.
I'm feeling much better about everything than I was a few days ago, but I'm still scared. I still don't know if things can be worked out. But at least we have some guidance and direction. Life is coming back.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Saw our marriage therapist today
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
I'm so glad that the BOTH of you are agreeing to take some time to work on yourselves, with a neutral party. Even if it does mean a separation/divorce, hopefully you will gain some helpful insight.
I am a firm believer that if you aren't happy with yourself, it is difficult to be happy *with* someone else.
You know where I am if you need to talk. This will be a long journey for the both of you, whether you are married or not.
The two of you still have a job to do, and that is to raise your beautiful children together.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
I'm glad to hear that, coker!
When my BIL was going through his divorce (early on before they decided) a friend of his who'd been there said you want to do everything you can to make sure it's the right decision so you don't have any regrets, which I think is good advice. You don't want any "what ifs" with big decisions like that.
(((hugs))) girl.
Whenever you are up for a drink, let me know.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
OK, I couldn't even read your reply without cracking up at that sig pic. Holy CRAP that's awesome.
And yes, I definitely think I'm ready for a drink with you and E and whoever else soon.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
And, I would be that whoever else :-)
Yeah - some old school rollers and a can of aqua net. We got serious about dance pictures :-)
DH and I just met with a marriage therapist yesterday. I get counseling through my stroke rehab so I've been working on stuff with a counselor on my own a bitand DH is going to go on his own to our couples therapist Hopefully both of our marriages improve. These last few months since my stroke have been hard and it hasn't been good on my marriage. Good luck to you guys
that is great to hear. I hope you find that you really like your therapist.
marriage can be so hard sometimes...that's such a cliche thing to say, but it is so true.
can I ask what your major issues are? that's personal- I know- so feel free to ignore that I asked. just basing your online personna and posts- its really surprising to think that you would have a very volatile household...is that dumb? you don't make my list of nesties that I think won't be married forever. (not that I have a running list- just that some would surprise me less...)
Im so nosy- sorry. Its really interesting. I know you'll make it work to everyone's benefit in your family- you totally will.
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
*poof*
Sounds like a good start to me and I definitely agree. You definitely need to be happy with yourself in order to give positively to others, IMO. Good luck. Thinking of you!
Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking really good thoughts for you.
Sending good thoughts your way. I am elated (yes, elated, which is odd since I don't even know you) to see this after your last update.
I hope you and DH both gain something from therapy and unltimately are able to work things out with yourselves and one another. I hope that the happiness you seek can be found with one another. And if it can't, I hope that you both feel solid that you've done what is best for your family and are able to work together beautifully to raise your two incredible kids.
Best of luck to you and DH.