Sadly another new member (longish)

jillcanada · May 2010

Dear Bumpies,

The past week has been one of, if not THE worst week of my life. DH and I went in Tuesday, May 4th for the anatomical scan for our twins at week 17. All we were looking forward to was finding out if they were boys or girls since they were identical. However we were presented with the shock of your lives. Twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome (TTTS) was diagnosed, and Baby B had suffered significant growth retardation as a result of this disease of the placenta, which can only occur in identical twins. Over the course of the past week I've researched every option possible to save them, or at least one of them, and was ready to fly to San Francisco this week for a laser surgery. Unfortunately on Tuesday when I returned for an u/s it was discovered that Baby A had died, most likely to cardiac arrest. The next day we returned to discuss our options only to find Baby B could not live without Baby A in his life.

My husband and I are devastated and I'm not sure how I'm going to get past this pain. I lost another angel last August at Week 8, and while it was horrible and sad, nothing compares to these losses. We had seen them moving and waving to us at week 12, making it that much more real to us. To make matters worse, the doctor couldn't schedule a D & E until next Wednesday (the prep takes two days, mon and tues), a whole week carrying my angels inside of me.

I'm hoping to find a place here for support, comfort and most of all understanding since you've all, unfortunately, been through this also. Breaking dollar store dishes, however, are still not out of the question!

My heart goes out to all of you.

Jill

magdalina.h · May 2010

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Gummybear · May 2010

Oh sweetie I am so sorry. So, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and I have tears running down my face. I lost my baby at 16w2d (the hb suddenly stopped sometime around 16w) out of nowhere 2 weeks ago, and I can commiserate how horrible and devastating it is around this time. I am sorry you have to carry your angels around as well, they wanted me to wait 4 days as well but my husband called and worked a miracle and got me in the next day.

I also had a D&E, so I can virtually hold your hand through that as well. I am so, so sorry

Amanda02a · May 2010

I am so sorry for your losses. I hope you find support and comfort form this board like many of us have. ((BIG hugs))

damabo80 · May 2010

I'm so sorry for your losses. What a tramatic event to have to go through. We are here for you anytime you would like to vent about the situation, or talk about your beautiful babies.

seoul09 · May 2010

I am terribly sorry to hear this. Man I am hating seeing the growth in this board in the last week. Seems every darn time I leave and come back someone else is doing an intro.

schenkertobe · May 2010

Jill-

I saw your post on the Multiples board. I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my twins three weeks ago at 23wks. I too was having a normal pregnancy until my anatomy scan. I remember that morning before my U/S was sooo exciting but my world was just shattered by the end of my U/S. I had been following your updates on the Multiples board and was really rooting for your little babies. I am so heartbroken for you and so sad to hear your news. This board is incredibly supportive and has helped me through some very difficult days. There are, sadly, other women on here who have lost twins recently. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Breaking dishes is not a bad idea:)

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com · May 2010

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Sunflower730 · May 2010

Again I am sorry for your loss.

Know we are here for you ((Hugs))

myst33 · May 2010

I am so so sorry for your losses.

elizabeth&james · May 2010

I'm very sorry for your losses. This is all just too sad.

jolieandscott · May 2010

So sorry for your losses.

bgarson · May 2010

I am so sorry for your losses. Let me know if I can do anything for you. I was suppose to have a D&E, but ending up delivering my baby naturally. I am very aware of all of the prep and the feeling of carrying my precious baby for several days.

jillcanada · May 2010

Gummybear - I will have lots of questions about the D&E. It scares me so much that I haven't looked it up online, nor did my doctor really go into any detail. She said I have to go in on Monday and Tuesday so they can dilate and then Wednesday morning is the procedure for which I'll be asleep. I had a tough time after the D&C in August, and am not looking forward to the physical cramping and pain.

SassyMamainVA · May 2010

I'm so very sorry for your losses

Fififa21 · May 2010

I?m so sorry for your losses and for the pain you are going through. Sending lots of T & P your way.

Gummybear · May 2010

jillcanada:
Gummybear - I will have lots of questions about the D&E. It scares me so much that I haven't looked it up online, nor did my doctor really go into any detail. She said I have to go in on Monday and Tuesday so they can dilate and then Wednesday morning is the procedure for which I'll be asleep. I had a tough time after the D&C in August, and am not looking forward to the physical cramping and pain.

Jill, I had to be dialated 24 hours before. They used lamineria and IMO, this was, by far, the worst part of the entire experience. It was very painful during insertion and I was crying a lot. I even made my Dr. cry. I was crampy for the 24 hours between insertion and my procedure. The D&E itself was fast. I was out with general anethesia and intubated for it. I had some bleeding after but not nearly as much as I thought I would. I am still spotting, off and on, but physically, recovery has been a breeze. The worst part was having a little milk come in a few days after Please page me or PM me if you need anything and I will keep you in my prayers.

catngar77 · May 2010

Words cannot express my sadness for you. Why do these things happen? Apparently God needed these two for something bigger. This place has been a great support for me. I hope you can find some peace in your situation.

I just had my D&C and the dilation process was way worse that the procedure. I am praying for you.

js297206 · May 2010

I am so sorry for your loss.... we are all here for you..

I was Dialated before my D&C, and had the laminary as well. The insertion on the Laminary wasn't painful, although the cramps were pretty bad. The procedure for me was pretty quick, I had little cramping or bleeding after, which is how I hope it goes for you.

Fryday37 · May 2010

oh hun i am so sorry for your losses! my heart goes out to you and your DH.

rock-elle · May 2010

Oh dear I am doubly sorry for your losses-sooo many T&P for you and DH in this time of grieving.

jerriesgirl · May 2010

Oh I'm so, so sorry.

maddiemoon43 · May 2010

I am sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Heathatm126 · May 2010

Jill- I am soo sorry for your losses. I also lost one of my twins very early at 7 weeks and the other at 8 weeks. I know the heartache we have gone through so can only imagine that heartache magnified 10 times....my sincerest thoughts and prayers are with you and DH during this difficult time.