Was not expecting this kind of BFing comment

ashleyhuney

I know a lot of people have gotten flack over NIP, extended nursing or not nursing at all but I was caught off guard by a zinger last night.  DS and I went to a playgroup at a local mothers support resource group that is extremely crunchy.  A 3 year old went to her mom and nursed and the mom seemed to want to cover herself.  I said, no worries, I'm still nursing that almost 2 year old.  She said it was because the other 3 year old girl would see and want to nurse the other woman sitting there.  Then the other girl noticed and she was nursing too.  Then DS walked up and they said uh oh, looks like he's going to want to nurse now.  I said most likely not, he hasn't wanted to nurse during the day in a little while he sticks to naps/bed/waking.  Then one of them said, "oh, that's because you're working (insert demeaning tone here.)"

WTF lady?  I'm not doing a good enough job by only nursing my almost 2 year old 2x a day??  And not that I feel the need to explain it to you but #1 my son has been following a perfectly healthy and slow self-weaning schedule of his own making even and #2 I spend my lunch hour with him everyday and there was a point where he was just too busy and happy to nurse and #3 while I'm cool with your 3 year old nursing I kinda feel like that might be a teeny bit old to need to nurse during playgroup, not that I would say anything!  Sigh.  Is anything ever right?

ETA: And I forgot to mention that I got some static over not co-sleeping and asking if another mom (who was asking for book suggestions for tantrums) had read a certain book because the leader of the group thought it was religious.  And then she went off on how religious it was...and it's just not.  Yeah, not going back there!

MamiJam

That sucks!  I guess even in a crunchy, pro-BFing group you can't please them all    They seem pretty judgemental, I wouldn't want to be a part of their group either! 

babydragonsister

Whack-a-doo!!!!  Why do people think they can get all crazy-judge-y on you when you become a mom?  Sorry you had to put up with that! 

cindy453

Wow... that's weird. The whole situation is weird. If there's nothing wrong with nursing a three year old, and you SHOULD be nursing a three year old that often... why cover it up and hope the other one won't want it?

futrkingsley

Hi there.   I'm sorry you felt flack for your choices from mom's you expected to be like minded. That sucks.

As for the nursing 3 year old, if I read it correctly, I'd say that it's possible that the other mom was attempting to be inconspicuous out of respect for the fact that the other mom to a 3 year old might not want to NIP at that point.  Or nurse during the day or whatever their situation is. I encountered this issue on Sunday.  My DS is highly suggestable when it comes to his mooks and while he doesn't normally need to nurse when we are out and about, if he's tired or it's been a long day and someone mentions milk (thank you mom!) at the dinner table, he's not happy until he's had his mooks.  I took him outside and nursed him but was slightly wary as my same age nephew was there too.  He's no longer nursing but it always makes me nervous that either it's going to open a conversation I don't really want (about why C nurses and he doesn't) or the nephew will get a sudden desire too.

Anyway, I hope you find another group that meets your needs better.

ashleyhuney

futrkingsley:

Hi there.   I'm sorry you felt flack for your choices from mom's you expected to be like minded. That sucks.

As for the nursing 3 year old, if I read it correctly, I'd say that it's possible that the other mom was attempting to be inconspicuous out of respect for the fact that the other mom to a 3 year old might not want to NIP at that point.  Or nurse during the day or whatever their situation is. I encountered this issue on Sunday.  My DS is highly suggestable when it comes to his mooks and while he doesn't normally need to nurse when we are out and about, if he's tired or it's been a long day and someone mentions milk (thank you mom!) at the dinner table, he's not happy until he's had his mooks.  I took him outside and nursed him but was slightly wary as my same age nephew was there too.  He's no longer nursing but it always makes me nervous that either it's going to open a conversation I don't really want (about why C nurses and he doesn't) or the nephew will get a sudden desire too.

Anyway, I hope you find another group that meets your needs better.

Hey, whatcha doin' over here  Yes, that's what the first woman was doing, which was nice.  It was the other woman who threw the zinger about my DS not wanting to nurse during the day because I worked like work is a mean nasty thing.  Then while #2 dissed my book rec #1 announced that she doesn't read any parenting books because she has better things to do than try to be the best parent ever.  This POV annoys the hell out of me because you are basically saying that YOU are the best parent ever for not reading those stupid parenting books.  I digress, and won't be BFFs with any of those chicas.

Mrs.KLF

ashleyhuney:

Is anything ever right?

 

Ugh, I was just complaining about this exact same thing on another board I chat on.  It doesn't matter your decision, someone is always going to judge.  Sorry about your crappy experience, mama!