***Kat***

JamicanBride

Have you seen this? Some of things you've said made me thing that you would appreciate this.  I know I did when I was pregnant with #2.

 

walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you.
I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" and I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't".
Knowing in fact that I never can again.
You cry, I cry with you.
I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.
There are new times -- only now we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you, as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.
I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.

I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.

---Author Unknown

kat.in.the.hat

I'm in tears now.  That really does sum it up, doesn't it?

I felt that way yesterday.  We left Mar at home to go to our 20 week u/s and it was so nice to be able to focus on just Ginger without having to wrangle Marion as well.  But then, when we brought the pictures home and Mar kept pointing to them saying "sis-a" it made me feel like I can't wait to have them both here.

It definitely has made me treasure the times that I have to just hang out with Marion now.  I'm trying to just enjoy it all, even the rough times, because I'm just dealing with one!

I'm super excited though because our MDO takes babies at 3 months, so when Ginger hits 3 months, she's going to MDO on Fridays while Mar will stay at home, so we get to just hang out the two of us.

But I can say though that the moment in my life I'm looking forward to the most is the first time Mar comes to the hospital and I get to sit in the bed with both of my girls.  I can't even imagine how my heart is just going to explode with love.

JamicanBride

I am so glad you enjoyed it.  I felt just like you, I couldn't wait for the baby to get here more for Gideon than anyone else; yet I was still trying to hold on to our last "alone" experiences together.  I guess we're just a couple of sentimental saps...lol.  I can't wait to hear how Marion takes to her. 

kat.in.the.hat

I hope she likes her - LOL!

She knows the u/s pictures are her sister and she points to my belly and says baby, ginger, sister.  She'll also give it kisses and every morning tells her hello.

Of course, when she actually gets here, I'm sure she'll feel differently!

Luckily, Mar is starting MDO three days a week at the end of August so I hope that helps her by giving her something that's just her own, you know?

savannah11

Butting in here.  I loved that, Jamican, brought tears to my eyes.  And it's oh so true.  O had a really hard time when C was born.  He used to test me by acting out while she was crying.  He wanted to see if I would put down the crying baby to come to him.  Now there is so much love between the two of them.  He is always looking out for her and saying he is going to protect her.  I can't imagine him not having this sibling relationship.  

I'm sure Marion is going to be a fabulous big sister :-). 

kat.in.the.hat

savannah11:

He used to test me by acting out while she was crying.  He wanted to see if I would put down the crying baby to come to him.

Thanks for this tidbit!  My SIL told me that her son would say he had to go to the bathroom (they were PTing) when her daughter would need to nurse and she said that was really difficult to handle.

How long did it take for him to get more adjusted to her?

savannah11

kat.in.the.hat:

savannah11:

He used to test me by acting out while she was crying.  He wanted to see if I would put down the crying baby to come to him.

Thanks for this tidbit!  My SIL told me that her son would say he had to go to the bathroom (they were PTing) when her daughter would need to nurse and she said that was really difficult to handle.

How long did it take for him to get more adjusted to her?

 Oh man, that is one of the reasons we held off on potty training until this year.

 The worst of his acting out peaked around month 3 and then it slowly got better.  Our situation is a little different though, since we have daycare.  He seemed to be a lot more accepting of her when I returned to work and she went to daycare with him.  They didn't really start to interact and enjoy each other until she was mobile.