How to be the bigger person?

Guimee

Does anyone else have in-law drama that drives you crazy and makes it really hard to be the bigger person? We used to have a great relationship with SIL, but a recent issue with my DH's mom giving away her property (for nothing) to SIL to build on caused a lot of drama. It's making it really hard for me (and DH) to even stand being around them even though they settled the money situation in the form of a life insurance policy (still not even, but it's not my family) this past weekend. They are giving my DH extra money to NEVER complain or talk about the situation again. It just makes me so mad that they don't see why the deal is unfair and are treating us like we did something wrong. DH apologized for the hurtful conversations over the past few months thinking that SIL would say the same ... but all she did was say "thank you" like she has done or said nothing wrong.

Does anyone else get a pit in their stomach like it's so hard being the bigger person?

Ana Ramey

Sometimes I refuse to be the bigger person....doesn't always help the situation, but man! Does it feel good!?

magdusia

I'm still trying to figure out how to be the bigger person and put things behind me but i'm one that holds a grudge and can't get past things.

sometimes being a bigger person can hurt too much

i'm still trying to figure it out -how to be the bigger person. 

Guimee

This is the one time I feel so annoyed and don't want to be the bigger person. I never want to step foot in their new house and DH isn't sure if he wants to either.

There was another situation a couple months ago where MIL got drunk while watching our son and SIL yelled at me over the phone saying that we caused her to drink by stressing her out! Seriously, I'm so pissed about that comment still and feel like I never want to reach out to her again unless she apologizes for that!

magdusia

Guimee:

This is the one time I feel so annoyed and don't want to be the bigger person. I never want to step foot in their new house and DH isn't sure if he wants to either.

There was another situation a couple months ago where MIL got drunk while watching our son and SIL yelled at me over the phone saying that we caused her to drink by stressing her out! Seriously, I'm so pissed about that comment still and feel like I never want to reach out to her again unless she apologizes for that!

be glad that you and DH are on the same page at least!  my husband is very torn w/ our IL issues and doesnt want to take sides b/c he agrees and disagrees w/ both sides.  Makes it harder when you dont have your husbands back.  

Regarding the drinking thing - your MIL should NEVER watch your child again! that is just wrong on so many levels. 

Guimee

fredalina:

Your MIL's property is her property. She can give it to anyone she pleases. It doesn't have to be "even". Why would you and DH think you're in the right when you have no right to be upset with MIL for giving away something that belongs toher? If you donated $2000 to charity, would your mom have a right to be pissed you didn't use the money to buy her an awesome Mother's Day gift?

I'm pissed for my DH, not myself. I could care less about the money and don't want anything to do with those conversations. There are so many back stories and past issues that prove his mom favors his sister. You mean to say that you wouldn't be upset if your mom gave away her land (3 acres worth $350K) to your sibling without even recognizing that she's being unfair? Why does she get the land to build on and not DH?