Work helped- sort of.

bleja

My first day back was today. I cried in the shower before going. I cried in the car on the way. I cried each time some one asked how I was doing or where I'd been.  And barely avoided crying each time some one gave me that look- like they were afraid if they talked to me it would set me off.

After a while I started avoiding conversation as much as possible and just threw myself into it my work. It provided a nice distraction, until I got in the car to go home.

I wasn't ready for this. I thought I could fake it til I make it, but it was just like hitting a wall and I felt even more confused, frustrated, guilty, etc... than I did before I went to work.

 

SassyMamainVA

I'm so sorry.  It's so hard going back to our "old" lives because we're not the same people we were before our losses.  I hope each day gets a little bit better.  (((Hugs)))

jerriesgirl

Is there anyway you can take a couple extra days off?  That worked for me when I started back to work too early. 

Fryday37

ugh. i go back to work tomorrow or at least im supposed to. i may call off or just go in for half a day. i will see how i am feeling although right now i feel like taking the rest of the month off! im sure each day will get better. i hope that you are feeling better soon!

bleja

jerriesgirl:

Is there anyway you can take a couple extra days off?  That worked for me when I started back to work too early. 

I'm off today- just the way the schedule worked out (mine varies a lot). But, I'm back tomorrow. I feel guilty taking more time off though- I'm depended on for so much there and now my biggest project has slipped so badly that I almost have to start over and build from the ground up again. Kind of a strange coinsidence, huh?

 

Amanda02a

I'm so sorry you had a rough day.  ((Hugs))