Gidge

LTF525

How you doing?

gidge

I'm ok.  DH and I are still "negotiating" what we're going to do next which is hard because I'm having some issues dealing with the emotional part of things.  (on the other hand my therapist told me I'm allowed to be sad, angry, and resentful because it's part of "moving on" - the permission helped a lot   )

I kind of want to try DE with his sperm, but there's no guarentee that will work....and he doesn't want to spend the $$.  I think I'll probably give in to trying dIUI or IVF with 1/2 ds if he agrees to that (and we can figure out how to pay for it).

Want to start looking into adoption, too - I have a gut feeling nothing's going to work and I'll still be in this place next year at this time and I need a backup plan.

That got long.... obviously I'm still trying to work things out in my head

 

LTF525

I agree with your therapist 100%. I think being "sad, angry, and resentful" is part of any grieving process and I don't think this stituation is any different. Sounds like you're getting some good advice!

It definitely seems like you all are weighing all the options and I'm sure you'll be able to find something that works for both of you. I'm keeping you all in my T&Ps.

Jenny829

I've been thinking about you too Gidge! I'm sorry you have to go through all of this.  I wish you and your H luck in coming to a decision that you are both comfortable with.  I'm glad to hear that your therapist is helping you.

yogisunam

((HUGS))

You are doing the right things, and should be proud of yourself for being proactive about seeing a counselor, taking all the emotions head-on and exploring your options. I have faith there is a miracle waiting for you, just not sure how when and what shape it will take.

 

 

 

katt3233

(((HUGS))) I agree with your counselor too, and I think it's good to talk to someone, since there are so many emotions playing into this too. I'm thinking of you, and I wish you peace and tranquility with your decision-making.

gidge

Thanks

 Seeing the counselor has helped, even though I took a long hiatus.  She was able to ease some of my fears about ds (I'm terrified our children will hate us for it) and help me see some of the concerns about the other options.

I guess I said a version of "I can't do this for another year" about 5 or 6 times, so whether or not I like it getting a baby sooner rather than later is more important than I realized.

I honestly wish I could pay someone to decide for us or that there was a test that could definitively say if it's an egg or sperm problem - the  "probably both" i'm getting from our RE doesn't help me!