I thought it would get better

la79al

Okay, technically I don't belong here.  DD turned 2 yesterday and I still have about 4 months until #2 comes along, but this board is the one closest to what I need.  I am not adjusting very well to the idea of having another baby.  Right now I am going through a denial phase so that I don't want to cry everytime I think about it.  DC#2 was planned but I thought it would take longer to talk DH into it than it did.  Not that the timing is really the issue.  I am a SAHM and can count on one hand the number of times I have been apart from DD for 2 hours.  I don't think it has ever been longer than that.  She loves babies and she plays well by herself so why do I feel like I am turning her world upside down?!?!  I really thought that with time I would adjust more to the idea but it hasn't really gotten any better.  I've looked at potential names and I know which crib we are getting and we have tons of g/n clothes all ready to go in storage, but as far as actually making any progress towards getting ready for another baby?  Nothing.  I keep hoping that once I actually have the baby, things will get better, but then I worry about what if they don't.  So tell me that I am crazy.  Tell me that now that family vacations and birthday parties are over, I can start to focus more on the baby and I will come to the realization that everything will be fine. 

CaitlinJ22

i think you are putting too much pressure on yourself. It'll happen. You'll feel more attached, but the second is harder to bond with IMO bc you are so bsuy with LO 1. You are giving your DD a siblling and while it will be tough at first, you'll do great and she will love having a real baby to be around. 

try and relax and not dwell on it. Give yourself some time. Buy a few new baby items for LO2, go to the spa. You need to relax a bit and just take it one day at a time.

 

Sherriberry

I'm 27 weeks, and I only got excited for this pregnancy at 25 weeks when we had our big ultrasound.  Mine are going to be 25 months apart.  I also thought it would take longer to get PG, but first try it happened. 

DS is getting excited about the baby.  He's always talking about babies, and kissing my belly.  We go to her room to hang out.  I don't doubt that I'll be flipping his world upside down, and it's going to be really hard on everyone, but in the end it's going to be great.  He's going to have a friend to play with at home instead of just mommy & daddy.  There's no way I only wanted one child, and I think the closer in age they are the easier the adjustment.

The second pregnancy is definately different, and not as "exciting" as the first.  You don't have time to think about it all the time.  Things just clicked for me one day, and I went from sad/worried/stressed to excited!

vanessaNOV2

I am in crazy denial stage too. I am hoping it will get better, and I know it will. DS will be 14 months when new baby comes and I have no idea how I will do it on a daily grind as a SAHM but I know others have and they will grow up to be amazing people. You will find a groove with both ur little ones.

idoinjuly

I hope I come to embrace this pregnancy more as the weeks go by instead of just dwelling on how this will affect my dd.  I am in denial too.  I didn't even want to tell our families because that would make it more real, but at the same time, I needed their support and for them to tell me it will be okay.  I feel so ungrateful for feeling this way and I feel bad for our baby in my tummy.

Mnq

I think it will be helpful to do something for yourself. Sounds like you need some pampering! I suggest a prenatal massage and a nice lunch while your DH takes care of your DD for the whole day. Or half a day if your not ready for that. I SAH too but my DD goes to daycare part time and that's really the only time I really focus and talk to DC2. I haven't done too much as far as preparation either (I'm due in 6 weeks) but you don't need much if you already have a 2 year old. I have a lot of g/n clothes too and just pick up stuff here and there. 

Do you have family nearby? Any MDO programs around you? It might be helpful for you to get your DD in the routine of spending a little time without you for a few hours a week. My DD will be 2 soon and I know it will be quite an adjustment but soon she won't even remember life before her brother. I truly believe siblings are gifts to each other. Just remember, "And this too shall pass".