My break from TTC has made me realize something

firefightersgal

I've been a weepy mess for the past couple of weeks, since my due date is just a few days away.  I haven't cried this much since the actual m/c, and I was thinking about why it is hitting me so hard.  Then, I realized--I'm just now really mourning my loss.  Sure, I was terribly upset directly around my m/c.  But then, we jumped right back into TTC.  I was completely absorbed with it and wouldn't really allow myself to think about what we lost, since I just *knew* we'd get pregnant again soon.  I thought that getting pregnant again would "fix" it.  Obviously that wouldn't have been the case, but it was a band aid on the gaping wound that I wasn't recognizing.

Valco

Your post is very interesting to me. I feel like TTC is all that is "getting me through" and I'm scared to think about the possibility of not being pregnant by my due date. 

I'm sorry you're going through this. 

owenst

{{hugs}}  I'm glad you've taken the time for yourself and are allowing yourself to grieve.

jdmiller28

Hugs. It's so hard to go through, know we're here to help you through the grieving process.

Mrs.Albie

I think that understanding that is a huge step forward in the recovery process.  You'll be in my thoughts and prayers as you continue to move forward. 

madladybride

I can sympathize. We got pregnant shortly after my first loss and lost that one too. When my first loss date came around, I was terribly upset. ( I tend to focus on my loss date, rather than the EDD because the EDD is my dad and my sister's birthday.) My second loss EDD has not happened yet.

It is so easy to use TTC as a way to avoid dealing with our losses. I think that I have finally made some kind of progress with my losses.

Good luck.