advice and strength please?

funkatronjive

I've been married for 4 years just this past Thursday and together a month shy of 10 years. It hasn't been perfect. Other then wanting more affection I love my life. We have a two year old daughter. This morning all hell broke loose. Our marriage is over. At least I'm pretty sure. We've had arguments before where he has said he is done but the next day everything is ok. We live in Alberta. My husband is military. Our family is in Ontario. My job is only permanent here. We just bought a house less then a year ago. It was our first house. I need the strength to pick everything up and move me, DD and my two cats and all of our stuff to Ontario. I can live with my mom but she can only afford her bills and nothing more. My mom is an alcoholic and we had problems living together before. I love my life with DH. Where do I get the strength to do this? How do I do this? I am a crying mess. I can barely breath!

taylorsue00

maybe moving with your mom will not be the best idea, because you have had problems with her in the past and you will be a different person for awhile while going through this, you have problems and dont need more put on you with your mom, you know?

ild say find a cheap apartment and continue working, if you even have to find some kind of aid to help.

but i'm sorry your dealing with this, it's hard but in time you will get through this and be happy again (such a cliche i know, but its true).

just stay strong for you and your little girl.

funkatronjive

I don't think living in the area is an uption. Rent for an apartment here is as much as my mortgage which is more then my paycheck. I live in oil country so its extremely expensive. Not to mention we have both hated living here since my husbands job moved us here. I don't think moving in with my mom is a good idea but I feel its my only option. I am trying to stay strong but its so hard.

achase123

What was the reason for it being done all of the sudden?  Are you sure this is what you want or is it an emotional reaction?  I would encourage you to sit back, take a big breathe, and BREATHE.  Deciding to end your marriage is a huge decision.  Will counseling help or are you ruling that out?

funkatronjive

I don't want my marriage to be over. My husband all of a sudden said it was over. I got him to agree to see a social worker this Friday. I hope we can work through this but I'm not sure he is willing to.

xcjen06

funkatronjive:

I don't want my marriage to be over. My husband all of a sudden said it was over. I got him to agree to see a social worker this Friday. I hope we can work through this but I'm not sure he is willing to.

Are you sure he meant it or could he have said it out of anger or to hurt you? On one really bad night for ex and I he told me he wanted a divorce and I thought he meant it, but when I left and told him I wanted the divorce he was totally suprised. He tried numerous times over the months after that to get me to come back and told me that he never meant what he said about wanting a divorce. I ended up leaving anyways because I wanted a divorce. But your husband may not mean what he is saying if it is all of a sudden. He may mean it but that is just something to consider.