When picking up SC....

hesperfect

Do you or SO go into X's house?

We have had an ok relationship with BM until we filed for a custody change. She has alway come in and waited for the boys to get their shoes on, etc... And vice versa, we would wait in the living room at her house until they got their stuff together. Now that there is alot of tension, and she is saying stuff to the SC about me and DH. I want DH to ask her to wait outside. I don't like to have any one in my house is is disrespectful to DH or myself. Is this unreasonable?

flippy1234

Not in at least 3 years, when things got weird between everyone. Before that yes she would sometimes come in our house and we went in hers a few times. 

I think its fine to ask her to stay outside, I can't imagine why she would want to come in anyways.  

DREWLILY

hesperfect:

Do you or SO go into X's house?

NO! BM on occassion has tried to get us to come into her house but there is no reason for us to do that, we can wait outside and we always feel she is up to something when she tells us we need to wait inside for SD. We also do not invite her into our house on the rare occassion that she picks up SD from us.

No, you are not being unreasonable. Have the boys ready to walk out the door before their BM gets there, then that just alleviates the issue altogether.

karatechrissy

We used to. About 2 months ago BM started standing outside waiting, the dogs go nuts when the door is open and DH and I would alwyaas say 'you can come in' and he has refused. Now, she knocks at the door, and goes back to her car and waits for SS. We don't go in their home anymore. Actually, I don't even go with him to pick him up anymore b/c it's so ackward. Her DH always comes in the entry way and waits for him to put his shoes on and stuff... but after a few weeks ago of him blowing my husbands phone up with texts and vm's of horrible name calling, I'll be damned if he comes in my home ever again. You don't disrespect my husband (or family in general) and expect to walk in and wait for SS to put on his shoes. He can wait outside from here on out.

curlilocks1207

DH occasionally has to go into BM's house because she will refuse to get the boys ready to leave, put youngest SS' shoes on etc but other than that, no. I don't go into BF's house picking up or dropping off DD and he doesn't come in to ours.

I don't think you would be out of line at all to ask her to wait outside.

hesperfect

Thanks ladies. I didn't think this was unreasonable, but DH doesn't want to be "mean". I know he doesn't want to make thing harder on the kids . I just can't allow this tension in my home in front of the kids. Besides I just don't think I could bite my tounge if I had to look at her longer than a minute.

J+R

BM has never been into our house and never will... She has no reason to even be in our state let alone be at our house.

We have gone into BMs apartment once and I am absolutely disguisted by it.... With all of that CS, you'd think she would have a wonderful living space, but no way. We used to be invited into her GMs house but now they make us wait outside because we will "dirty the house".

ETA:  When I put about having no reason to be in our state, I just wanted to clarify   She has no family, friends, etc. here. She wouldn't just "pop" in.

gasper

Not at all.  Our ex's don't come in our house and we dont' go in theirs.  If she gives you grief about it just politely point out you are aware of her hostile feelings towards you and DH and don't wnat the negativity near your home.

mom2one

I go in to ex's house to visit when I pick up DS...ex rarely comes in to my house though.

JohnNDeanna

HAHA.  The poor kids have to wait for her to unlock the door with her key from the inside, squeeze through the little crack she provides them to get out the door, and it slams behind them.  Then when they are going back in they have to knock until she unlocks it, squeeze back in, and door gets slammed again.  It is pathetic.  There are also sheets covering their windows so who knows the deal.

hterry85

We did when ss was younger. But at the time BM lived with her dad, so it wasn't her place to say we weren't allowed in. Oddly enough, when she moved out, she would invite me in if I picked up ss, but never DH. I have never picked him up byself at her new house (actually her FI house)  But DH isn't allowed to park his car in their driveway

paris.inthe.spring

Never. DH has not been in the house since the day he moved out oh 8, 9 years ago. I have never and will never step foot in there, nor will she ever step foot in my home. Ever.

asmo0401

Nope, it's in the CO. Neither is to leave their vehicle during pick up time. SD2 had a tummy ache and was on the potty when BM came to pick them up once and I told DH he could allow her in the house, but he said he'd rather not.

Shel77

we do although typically SD's mom waits outside until invited in...think that because she gives me/us that respect, it gives me the space to invite her in.  This used to be very weird for me, and maybe her, since it was the house she lived in but...eh, has gotten easier.

If I'm not working, I'll typically wait in the car when going to p/u SD, who is never ready anywhere, while DH goes in. This is a little weird for me.  Eventually, her mom simply invited me in, although ironically, it feels a little intrusive, maybe un-necessary for me to do this every time.

This is ONLY b/c SD's mom is completely respectful of me and DH.  If our situation was anything outside of complete and total respect, I would absolutely insist that she wait outside and I would not enter her home.

Phantomgirl

We do.  I think it is terribly rude to leave someone standing at the door.  BUT if BM ever attached me verbally that would be a whole different ball game.  So no I do not think you are being unreasonable.  

I don't do two faced so if I have a problem with someone they are generally the first to know about it.  BM knows this so I doubt it will be an issue lol.

Luis Soto

No.  No hard feelings, its just been so long that its more of a business deal.  No need to enter each others' homes.  The kids are old enough to have cell phones, and we call each other when we're on the way.  

Linds&Chris777

BM used to come in all the time when dropping SS off or picking him up, but at Christmas we had a blow out and ever since then we pretty much made it clear she's not welcome in our home.  She pretty much has been dropped off SS at DH's work on Fridays and DH takes him home Sunday but doesn't go inside, just says goodbye at the door.  I have to say I love it b/c I think I've only seen her once since x mas and the stress level has gone waaaay down.