My vow as a Mom of boys

howleyshell

If and when I have grand kids I'm gonna tell my boy(s) that they need to focus on their wives and their families on Mother's Day and we can do brunch or something the following weekend.

I hate reading about how so many mothers of young kids plan to spend their days trying to accommodate their MIL's needs.

I will NOT be that MIL!!!! 

brittneycc1982

That's nice of you! lol

Luckly I don't have that sort of MIL, but I know people who do and I feel bad for their mommys.

moroccojade

No kidding.  Geez.

MIL is really far away.  Also?  Moroccans don't celebrate Mom's day, so she wouldn't know the difference even if we did live close.     There are some perks to being from drastically different cultures! lol.

amygauntt@windstream.net

Yeah, I have that kind of MIL, though she's like that about ALL holidays. She expects everyone to come there. Uh, no. Thankfully, DH agrees with me.

CABunny

Very nice!  I will vow to do the same. 

SalisburyBride

I agree! My mom has always been super flexible and accomodating but MIL is really big on celebrating events on the day. This year will be the first in eight years that I am seeing my mother on mother's day. I usually make a point to spend the day with her the day before or the weekend before or after. I am so grateful to have a mother that is easy to deal with! I'm really struggling with getting DH to understand that I really don't want to have his family over on MD this year because I want it to be just my mom since she rarely gets the "special treatment" of celebrating on the day.

Sapphyr

I'll agree to this for both of my children.  DD should be celebrated by her respective family and DS should celebrate his.

Harms80

Cheers to you and I vow to do the same.  My MIL thinks the world revolves around her. 

skittles_123

Ditto, I will do the same. My mil is so not super flexible about this kind of stuff .

neverblushed

It took my DH a while to "get it" that his primary focus on Mother's Day should be ME, the mother of his children, and not his mother.  To be totally fair, he also feels that Father's Day should be spent honoring his father more than himself. 

Now that I've got a few years of being a mom under my belt, I'm less concerned about the day being "my" special day.  As my kids have gotten older, and parenting is easier, I feel less like I need that acknowledgement.  Now we just play it by ear -- sometimes we go camping, sometimes we get together with DH's family, last year my sister and I took my mom to a casino for the day.

My IRL girlfriends and I always say that Father's Day should come first in the year so that new dads would KNOW how much of a big deal Mother's Day should be for a new mom!

septemberdreams

This is my first mother's day (adopted earlier this year), I am dreading mother's day b/c it is ALL about accommodating my MIL!!!

marriedchick06

I agree with you. I feel like last Mother's Day we had to go to my parents, then to inlaws and the only part of the day that was "about me" and what I wanted to do was from 7am-8am when I got to sleep in. I know it sounds bratty and I appreciate my mom and MIL, but I want the day to be relaxing for me. It's really the only day out of the whole year I feel like I should get to do what I want and that is relax.

mrshutch

Oh, definitely. And I'll also encourage DD to ignore her MIL if she's doing that- but hopefully she'll have an awesome MIL.

Okay, that's weird to imagine who our in-laws will be! Creepy- they're out there somewhere right now

j_hope

Those of you who agree w/ this rock!  Unfortunately, Dh hasn't realized how Mother's Day works and we spend EVERY mother's day w/ his grandma, his dad, and his mom.  I think it sucks that he doesn't get that I would love just to spend mother's day as a family w/ him and our kids, but he feels that mother's day entitles him to spend time w/ his mom as well.  Grrr...I just get annoyed that this is the same argument we have around Mother's Day every year!

brightning

That's awesome.

skyblonde

My MIL always goes up to her cabin by herself for Mother's Day weekend, so that's awesome!

abpdjs

oh hell no!  mommy's day is my day period.  i get to do what i want and visit my mom sometime during that day but we don't see mil, dh goes to visit her and i am fine and she is fine with that.  if i want Carson all day then he stays with me, if i want the morning free then dh takes him out to do something and brings my baby back to me for the rest of the day.  fathers day is the same, dh's day..........neither day revolves around the il's.

nsees

Agreed!!!!!!!!

My dad is taking my mom and I out to breakfast...which I'm invited and not expected to come if I don't want to.  Then DH will take the boys up to visit his mom for like a hour but I get to stay at home relaxing so I'm cool with that and I'm pretty sure she doesn't miss seeing me.

Although I have to say that I have been a mom now for 4 years and not ONCE has she wished ME a happy mother's day...Hello!!!  I did give you grandchilren ::humph:::

Kelleygirl18

oooh. Good one! I, too, make this vow! My MIL lives 10 minutes away and mailed me a card. I casually mentioned to DH that sinced she mailed me a card, I will mail hers and then we don't have to worry about going over there. Didn't go over so well. I would pay good money to have my MIL live FAR away, so all we have to do is mail a card!

molldoll71

I don't know my husband is an only child (I am one of 3) and his parents live a few hours away my mom is local - we always spend Mother's Day with his Mom - we go for the weekend and I don't mind - it's the right thing to do - how awful for her if she was childless Mother's Day.  Just because I am a Mother too doesn't mean that she stopped being a mother - and actually it's more impertant for her as she is a mother and a grandmother too.  I am more than happy to honor her!