What is your position on bribery wth your children?

OctoberBrideNYC

I, for one, am not above it.  I finally figured out my dd's currency.  She has been potty trained to pee for 8 months, but would only poop in a pull up.  Then she saw a gift we gave to a friend's dd for her birthday - Zhu Zhu Pets - and she was freaking out over them.  I told her that if she started pooping in the potty, I'd get them for her, and it took her a few days, but it worked!  I had tried other things before and nothing worked but this - I bow to the altar that is Zhu Zhu Pets!  Thank you!  lol. 

I'm sure she was just ready and that was the biggest part of it.  But I am not above bribery, at all!  You?

Alibabs

Not at all. Sometimes it's needed. Well done!

shouldbworkin

Not above it either.  I try to find little things to reward them with, like stickers and suckers.  But sometimes you need a zhu zhu pet or Thomas shoes as a big reward for something important.  I think it's far from your DC being motivated by the wrong things or being entitled, however. 

AnnapolisLari

I am all for it. I keep lollipops in my purse, will go get ice cream for good behavior, and we are currently holding an entire new swingset as a reward if he learns to use the potty. So far that's not working.

mlm1128

One of the many tools stashed away in my dd tool box.  You do what you need to do.

kellilea

Totally not above it.

ridesbuttons

I'm ok with both bribes and threats, though I try to be discriminating about using them.

For instance, last week I had 14 hour travel days with the kids to visit my inlaws.  I threatened my 2.5 year old with 'If you don't (sit down, put your seatbelt on, be quieter, whatever) I'll have to tell the pilot' several times.  Worked very well.

Come to think of it, I haven't used bribes too much yet.  Smarties for using the potty is about it.  But I am certainly not above it.

elm1032004

For something like this I would use bribery....we bribbed DD to potty train by telling her she could get a pet fish.   Whatever works in this case. 

LeoChic

I'm all for it!!

Sometimes the only way to get DD to behave and not have the "gimmes" in the store is to promise a sucker, lollipop, or bubble gum at the end all in the name of "if she's good."

For me, the bigger deal regarding bribery is making sure that if DD was told that she would not get the sucker for being bad then she DOES NOT get the sucker.  Period.

I also always try to define what "bad" means or define exactly what behaviors I expect and what behaviors will result in the loss of the bribed item.  I hear a lot of parent's say "be good" or "don't be bad" but they don't define what that means and kids just don't really know yet exactly what's good and what's bad.

Bellisimo

Whatever works!  It's called positive reinforcement!

dnagal

I like the phrase "Reward: with advance notice" 

I try to be somewhat unpredictable about it, so that DD is not asking for something EVERY time she cooperates in some fashion, but have given rewards for:  potty behavior, quickly getting into the carseat (a bonus when mommy is standing in the rain), a distraction tool when we need to quickly change activities, etc. 

AggieCouple

Potty training + bribes = good

We don't really use it for much else, but it totally works for potty training. 

firefightersgal

I'm not above it.  I've even bribed my students to get them to be quiet in the hallways.  Another teacher said, "Wow...they are so good.  What did you do?"  I told her--bribery works wonders.

Angela814

I fully support the use of bribery and/or threats. "We can't have dessert until you eat your dinner. If you're not hungry for your vegetables, you must not be hungry for ice cream either." "I guess you must not want your toys if you're not helping clean them up. You must want to give them to me to keep." We've also started a sticker reward process to get her to sleep in her own bed. She's old enough, and she's really excited to earn stickers and prizes. Plus we're teaching basic math - 10 stickers = 1 prize.

august282005

IMO what you have described is an incentive, not a a bribe.  Technically a bribe results in inducing corrupt behavior.  An incentive enables or motivates a certain course of conduct.  Most of the things we do as parents are based around incentives or the lack thereof  - if you pick up all your toys, I won't take them away; if you go to the bathroom on the potty, you'll get an M&M.  If you hit someone, you'll go to time out.  If you want your sippy cup you'll have to say please & thank you.

KoriBrett

Yes, have some.

 

MrsStubbs

Are you kidding me, DD got a BIKE for pooping in the potty, Zhu Zhu is nothing.

samanthony

I'm with ya sister! Sometimes a good bribe does the trick!

femmegem

I'm definitely not above bribery. I use it frequently.

*Amy*

Not at all.  In a situation like that definitely.  Where I won't bribe is for good behavior in a store b/c I don't wan them to expect it everytime.  Bribery hasn't worked for Anthony and PT.  Everything that he loves and wants, if we offer it to him if he starts going on the potty (he is not PT at all) he will say no thanks.  It is crazy.  He will pass up anything.  My brother promised him a toy John Deere weedwacker months ago.  He knows it and would love it (he is obsessed with tractors and yard equipment) but it doesn't phase him.  We are at a loss.  This kid is going to be in pull-ups forever. 

DandelionMom

I bet my 3 y/o (and 6 y/o!) would do almost anything for a new Zhu Zhu pet. 

I'm a big fan of bribing. 

OctoberBrideNYC

I'm glad I'm not alone!  I agree with not giving gifts for just being good in a store or something because then they'll expect it.  But all bets are off for potty training! 

Dimplz

I'm all for bribery!

In fact, DS potty trained himself in one day because I told him we would get ice cream if he filled one sticker chart row with stars. That was all I needed to say I guess!

Ice cream is his currency FO SHO!

penguingrrl

Not above bribery at all!  How else do you get kids to behave in Target?!?!